Author Topic: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?  (Read 4530 times)

Offline EliJelly

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #45 on: March 09, 2021, 10:58:01 AM »
Not a crazy question. 
It speaks to his level of frumkeit/ chassidishkeit.  And having similar values is the building blocks of a marriage.
In chernobyl/skver it would definitely speak to his level of frumkeit, in other places to a lesser degree

Offline avromie7

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #46 on: March 09, 2021, 11:08:37 AM »
Anyone ruining a marriage over things like this needs serious help.
-1
R' Reuvein Feinstein was once speaking to a group of talmidim who were all dating for at least a little while. He asked them what they talk about when dating, most of them answered that they talk about the "important" things like hashkafa etc. He asked if any of them discuss if they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom or the middle, and most of them laughed like it's a funny joke. He then told them that these are the important things to discuss because these are the things that can ruin a marriage.

A few years later one of those boys went over to R' Reuvein to tell him that he saved his marriage. He had gotten married and he is the neater one in the house. One day he comes in and things are pretty messy and he was upset about it, then he walked into the bathroom and stuff were left out all over the vanity, then he sees the toothpaste squeezed from the middle. He was about to throw a fit and he remembered "the shmuz" and burst out laughing...
I wonder what people who type "u" instead of "you" do with all their free time.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #47 on: March 09, 2021, 11:11:43 AM »
Quote
boxers or briefs
#1 - a friend of mine was asked this question when he was dating
Um, without getting too graphic or devolving this conversation further, can you say how/what he answered?

Online Yehuda57

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #48 on: March 09, 2021, 11:12:10 AM »
Not a crazy question. 
It speaks to his level of frumkeit/ chassidishkeit.  And having similar values is the building blocks of a marriage.

Didn't say it was the craziest question, just that it was the "best exchange" I had heard. Still makes me chuckle.

But if you really want to dig into it, the checkboxification of Chassidishkeit is a perversion of "values research" and doing more harm than good, but I digress.
Quote from: ExGingi
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Online skyguy918

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #49 on: March 09, 2021, 11:13:15 AM »
-1
R' Reuvein Feinstein was once speaking to a group of talmidim who were all dating for at least a little while. He asked them what they talk about when dating, most of them answered that they talk about the "important" things like hashkafa etc. He asked if any of them discuss if they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom or the middle, and most of them laughed like it's a funny joke. He then told them that these are the important things to discuss because these are the things that can ruin a marriage.

A few years later one of those boys went over to R' Reuvein to tell him that he saved his marriage. He had gotten married and he is the neater one in the house. One day he comes in and things are pretty messy and he was upset about it, then he walked into the bathroom and stuff were left out all over the vanity, then he sees the toothpaste squeezed from the middle. He was about to throw a fit and he remembered "the shmuz" and burst out laughing...
Kashya reisha aseifa?

Offline EliJelly

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #50 on: March 09, 2021, 11:13:52 AM »
-1
R' Reuvein Feinstein was once speaking to a group of talmidim who were all dating for at least a little while. He asked them what they talk about when dating, most of them answered that they talk about the "important" things like hashkafa etc. He asked if any of them discuss if they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom or the middle, and most of them laughed like it's a funny joke. He then told them that these are the important things to discuss because these are the things that can ruin a marriage.

A few years later one of those boys went over to R' Reuvein to tell him that he saved his marriage. He had gotten married and he is the neater one in the house. One day he comes in and things are pretty messy and he was upset about it, then he walked into the bathroom and stuff were left out all over the vanity, then he sees the toothpaste squeezed from the middle. He was about to throw a fit and he remembered "the shmuz" and burst out laughing...
So not asking that before saved this shidduch, hearing that shmoose from his Rush yeshiva saved his marriage.

Online Euclid

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #51 on: March 09, 2021, 11:16:54 AM »
#1 - a friend of mine was asked this question when he was dating
Um, without getting too graphic or devolving this conversation further, can you say how/what he answered?
He can't tell you; friend is a top secret commando operative. 

Offline YitzyS

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #52 on: March 09, 2021, 11:19:05 AM »
He can't tell you; friend is a top secret commando operative.
I just reread the post and I am relieved to see that I may have misunderstood it.

I thought the friend was asked while dating, as in ON A DATE. Hence my post.

But now I think the OP meant while dating, as in while in the parsha, meaning before the date. BH.

Offline aygart

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #53 on: March 09, 2021, 11:22:14 AM »
It's the small things that often ruin a marriage.
Anyone ruining a marriage over things like this needs serious help.

I wouldn't call it needing serious help, but it is not the small items themselves but rather how the individual reacts and deals with them that can ruin the marriage. This applies to the small items and the big items. Successful marriage is about tikun hamidos both about the large and small things. An issue can be big but a small reaction makes it small or an issue can be small and a small reaction makes it big.

-1
R' Reuvein Feinstein was once speaking to a group of talmidim who were all dating for at least a little while. He asked them what they talk about when dating, most of them answered that they talk about the "important" things like hashkafa etc. He asked if any of them discuss if they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom or the middle, and most of them laughed like it's a funny joke. He then told them that these are the important things to discuss because these are the things that can ruin a marriage.

A few years later one of those boys went over to R' Reuvein to tell him that he saved his marriage. He had gotten married and he is the neater one in the house. One day he comes in and things are pretty messy and he was upset about it, then he walked into the bathroom and stuff were left out all over the vanity, then he sees the toothpaste squeezed from the middle. He was about to throw a fit and he remembered "the shmuz" and burst out laughing...
Was this supposed to be a pircha or a raya to @ExGingi ? To me it seems like a raya. At the end of the day it was not where the toothpaste was squeezed from that saved his marriage, but rather how he dealt with it!
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline avromie7

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #54 on: March 09, 2021, 11:25:14 AM »
I wouldn't call it needing serious help, but it is not the small items themselves but rather how the individual reacts and deals with them that can ruin the marriage. This applies to the small items and the big items. Successful marriage is about tikun hamidos both about the large and small things. An issue can be big but a small reaction makes it small or an issue can be small and a small reaction makes it big.
Was this supposed to be a pircha or a raya to @ExGingi ? To me it seems like a raya. At the end of the day it was not where the toothpaste was squeezed from that saved his marriage, but rather how he dealt with it!
There was a build up and this was about to put him over the top, but remembering how he considered it to be so insignificant back then made him realize it wasn't such a big deal.
I wonder what people who type "u" instead of "you" do with all their free time.

Online ExGingi

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #55 on: March 09, 2021, 11:26:06 AM »
I wouldn't call it needing serious help, but it is not the small items themselves but rather how the individual reacts and deals with them that can ruin the marriage. This applies to the small items and the big items. Successful marriage is about tikun hamidos both about the large and small things. An issue can be big but a small reaction makes it small or an issue can be small and a small reaction makes it big.

Exactly what I meant. Serious help needed in learning how to deal with things, and what's important vs unimportant.

Was this supposed to be a pircha or a raya to @ExGingi ? To me it seems like a raya. At the end of the day it was not where the toothpaste was squeezed from that saved his marriage, but rather how he dealt with it!

והא ראיה: my marriage is doing great despite the toothpaste squeezing issues.  ;)
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline Dan

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #56 on: March 09, 2021, 11:27:13 AM »
I just reread the post and I am relieved to see that I may have misunderstood it.

I thought the friend was asked while dating, as in ON A DATE. Hence my post.

But now I think the OP meant while dating, as in while in the parsha, meaning before the date. BH.
Lol, +1.
But I still can't believe how that was asked at all. Does the person ask back what kind of underwear the girls wears :o
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #57 on: March 09, 2021, 11:30:04 AM »
He can't tell you; friend is a top secret commando operative.

BANNED!
When you find yourself agreeing with me more often than not, it's time for a cheshbon hanefesh.

Offline avromie7

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #58 on: March 09, 2021, 11:32:38 AM »
He can't tell you; friend is a top secret commando operative.
Pun intended?!?
I wonder what people who type "u" instead of "you" do with all their free time.

Online Euclid

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Re: What's The Craziest Shidduch Question You've Been Asked?
« Reply #59 on: March 09, 2021, 11:35:29 AM »
Pun intended?!?
I can neither confirm nor deny.