Find someone you trust (and who trusts you) in Lakewood who has a few days free and wants an all-expenses-paid vacation in an incredibly scenic part of the country, in exchange for doing this small job for you. Rent a truck locally, pay them for gas, food, and overnight accommodations, and ask them to pick up the furniture and put it on their credit card and drive back with it. IDK prices now, could be flying OW and renting a truck there for the return would also work.