How many OTD individuals had those theological issues while they were still content and how many “discovered” them when they already had motivations to want to leave? If a frum boy goes to Yale and lives in a coed dorm with a pretty shikze as his roommate and then tells his family during spring break that his philosophy professor opened his eyes and he has a moral imperative to follow the truth and leave the fold that’s not his mind talking. That’s a certain part of his anatomy talking.
I think the timeline is very relevant when an OTD individual has issues with being frum or a part of his community and those issues subsequently motivate him to search. Where is his newfound philosophy coming from?
If a frum boy goes to Yale and lives in a co-ed dorm, how frum was he to begin with? What theological foundations did he have that led him to make that initial decision to live there?
I think most frum people have theological questions. Sometimes we ask them, and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we are satisfied with the answers, and sometimes we aren't. Some of the people who aren't satisfied with the answers look for answers elsewhere, and some people shrug it off, rationalizing that there are great, smart people who say this is the right thing to do, so this is what we do.
Sometimes, there are circumstances in our lives which change the way we think, change our priorities, or bring to the forefront issues which we had previously sidelined. Sometimes, our circumstances or desires get the best of us, and we deflect to "bigger, existential issues" so that we won't have to face our other problems, shortcomings, or weaknesses. Ultimately, regardless of the timeline or the catalyst, if we dismiss, diminish, delegitimize, marginalize, or simply fail to answer the questions, these people have no foundation to return to. Everything about their previous lives now becomes a house of cards, built on a foundation of sand. It becomes the reason they aren't frum. Furthermore, it sends a message to those who are still frum and have the same questions that their legitimate questions don't have answers, and that if they choose to leave, they will be marginalized. Their families, friends, and communities will blame a boogyman, and say, "they must have had trauma."
In short, if our theology is sound, we should have the answers to their questions. Where they got the questions or what inspired them to ask them shouldn't matter. We shouldn't have to resort to the blame game and "timelines" instead of answering the questions.