Organizations Unite to Cut Postage Costs
By YitzyS
In an effort to cut the ever-increasing cost of postage, a number of tzedaka organizations have formed a coalition that will help minimize their shipping expenses. According to their new plan, a single package will be shipped each week to every US home that will include all the tzedaka letters inside. By cutting out the sipping costs of the individual envelopes, organizations plan to shave millions of dollars in operating expenses off their annual budgets.
“This process is a bold move for the chesed and tzedaka organizations across the county,” the director of Crown Heights' post office on S Johns, who was brought in to optimize the project, told DansDeals Magazine. “By setting aside our competitive nature and working together, everyone can save money, while also improving the experience for all Jewish families.”
He noted that the current plan was part of a multi-step process. The final goal, he said, was that each home should get just one paper mailed to them with check boxes to mark off which tzedaka one wished to donate to that week.
The new plan was put into motion after area residents started installing paper shredders at the front of their homes, with instructions for mailmen to deposit their mail straight into the shredder's mouths.
"Even if every once in a while we'll shred a stimulus check, big deal," Crown Heights residents Yehuda Fiftyseven told DDM. "It's not worth the hassle of sorting through all that junk to find find the money. How much is US dollars worth anyways nowadays?"
The new plan to relegate all solicitation mailings into one weekly box has been heralded as the way of the future.
"Now lets see if we can start sending kids to school one time for the whole week," Florida native JJ Onethousand noted.
Others questioned how YitzyS would end the already-too-long news tidbit that was starting to go south.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'm sure I'll find a way."
I know that you posted this as a Joke...
The real reason why we cannot do this is. Like the online fundraising websites (no names included) it became a business with multiple sites and aggressive emails and fundraising tactics, with the sites taking a commission to cover their “costs” The same will become with a one pager mailing list, multiple “organizations” with only “one page”... so then we will start getting double the mail and they will also charge a percentage to “cover” their costs. So organizations will start again mailing themselves not to pay a percentage and you will have tripled your spam mail.
As a side note, I stoped giving to online matching campaigns, if my friends call me they could come pick up a check. Nobody ever comes.... I also unsubscribed from all these email blasts that I started getting after I donated the first time online, it didn’t help so I marked them all as spam it works the best.
