Please don't overwhelm our brothers

[Moshe123]

There are narcissistic people in the world. News at 11.

[JMHO]

Heads up before Pesach program season rolls around.
Writing from a very OOT community. A wealthy SY family ($25m wedding in Italy wealthy) just visited for a week making the shluchim and baalabatim crazy with demands for 3x/day minyan only at their hotel (not the Chabad house) where we struggle to get minyan on Shabbos. Father was in aveilus and traveled against his own Hakham's advice.
Sach Hakol, the family promised the shluchim the sun, the moon and the stars. You can guess how much they actually donated. Shluchim and the baalabatim they had to round up for this family's minyanim are naturally destroyed not so much by the money but complete lack of hakarat hatov.
Where are these people learning their middos?

MKY!

[lover of truth]

I understand the feelings toward wealthy vacationers taking over chabad houses
But listen the poor shliach has no choice, it is their checks that are keeping the place running
no different than any shul that the rich guy talks the whole davening, gets maftir every week etc. and no one can tell the guy a word
Side note i used to vacation in Palm springs Rabbi Donnenbaum best shliach ever!

[Dan]

I understand the feelings toward wealthy vacationers taking over chabad houses
But listen the poor shliach has no choice, it is their checks that are keeping the place running
no different than any shul that the rich guy talks the whole davening, gets maftir every week etc. and no one can tell the guy a word
Side note i used to vacation in Palm springs Rabbi Donnenbaum best shliach ever!

Uh, no.
The issue is when you're high maintenance but don't contribute or at least give sincere thanks.

[lover of truth]

Uh, no.
The issue is when you're high maintenance but don't contribute or at least give sincere thanks.

The shliach doesn't know which richie will donate or not and sadly he can't take the chance of losing a fat fish
Ask anybody who has a mossad who went on a wild goose chase to end up getting $18 check
THATS LIFE

[Dan]

OK?

[lover of truth]

OK?

Of course not
Just saying this is what every fundraiser/menahel goes through, not limited to shluchim
They are doing it lshem shmayim and go through constant abuse

[JoeyShmoe]

Of course not
Just saying this is what every fundraiser/menahel goes through, not limited to shluchim
They are doing it lshem shmayim and go through constant abuse

And therefore it's ok to abuse them? The story @ReadsTheT&C brought is asking for people to stop taking advantage of Shluchim in this way, no one said that any fundraiser is any different

[shwarmabob]

Heads up before Pesach program season rolls around.
Writing from a very OOT community. A wealthy SY family ($25m wedding in Italy wealthy) just visited for a week making the shluchim and baalabatim crazy with demands for 3x/day minyan only at their hotel (not the Chabad house) where we struggle to get minyan on Shabbos. Father was in aveilus and traveled against his own Hakham's advice.
Sach Hakol, the family promised the shluchim the sun, the moon and the stars. You can guess how much they actually donated. Shluchim and the baalabatim they had to round up for this family's minyanim are naturally destroyed not so much by the money but complete lack of hakarat hatov.
Where are these people learning their middos?

If they disregarded their own Rav/Hakham's advice and it is public knowledge, then what kind of midot are you talking about?

[yelped]

If they disregarded their own Rav/Hakham's advice and it is public knowledge, then what kind of midot are you talking about?

It probably wasn't known by them beforehand. Even if it was, how many times have you ignored or not noticed red flags?

[Lurker]

It probably wasn't known by them beforehand. Even if it was, how many times have you ignored or not noticed red flags?

IME, ignoring red flags has little to do with situations like this. Usually, the shliach is self-guilted into accommodating the people who showed up. How is he going to let an avel daven without a minyan?

[ckmk47]

IME, ignoring red flags has little to do with situations like this. Usually, the shliach is self-guilted into accommodating the people who showed up. How is he going to let an avel daven without a minyan?

That's an example of a Yid having more compassion on his fellow man's ruchniyos that the fellow does himself.
Admirable.  But sometimes you have to say " You made  your bed, lie in it."

[Yehuda57]

This conversation rubs me the wrong way. My feelings on this are quite clear in this and other threads. There should be more of a general awareness by frum travelers in general. Stories like this are individuals. Individuals are often jerks. Why was it necessary to say which community they came from? Why the need to discuss the midos (or lack thereof) of "these people"? This kind of abuse - having the shliach make minyanim in *their* hotel, etc, is indicative of uber-wealthy people who are used to getting whatever they want often without realizing how extreme their requests are, and not all that instructive for the broader frum community.

[Moshe Green]

This conversation rubs me the wrong way. My feelings on this are quite clear in this and other threads. There should be more of a general awareness by frum travelers in general. Stories like this are individuals. Individuals are often jerks. Why was it necessary to say which community they came from? Why the need to discuss the midos (or lack thereof) of "these people"? This kind of abuse - having the shliach make minyanim in *their* hotel, etc, is indicative of uber-wealthy people who are used to getting whatever they want often without realizing how extreme their requests are, and not all that instructive for the broader frum community.

When one sees how extreme some people get we can take a lesson for ourselves in our own lives.

For example; when we stay by a hotel/eat in a restaurant and the food comes a bit late, instead of getting all mad and yelling at the waiter/staff we can understand that they are working hard to make everyone happy and sometimes things go wrong. We can appreciate the good and show Hakaras HaTov instead of focusing on the bad and ignoring the Shliach's hard work like the guy in the story.

[JMHO]

When one sees how extreme some people get we can take a lesson for ourselves in our own lives.

For example; when we stay by a hotel/eat in a restaurant and the food comes a bit late, instead of getting all mad and yelling at the waiter/staff we can understand that they are working hard to make everyone happy and sometimes things go wrong. We can appreciate the good and show Hakaras HaTov instead of focusing on the bad and ignoring the Shliach's hard work like the guy in the story.

Who gets all mad and yells at the waiter/staff when the food comes a bit late?

[yelped]

This conversation rubs me the wrong way. My feelings on this are quite clear in this and other threads. There should be more of a general awareness by frum travelers in general. Stories like this are individuals. Individuals are often jerks. Why was it necessary to say which community they came from? Why the need to discuss the midos (or lack thereof) of "these people"? This kind of abuse - having the shliach make minyanim in *their* hotel, etc, is indicative of uber-wealthy people who are used to getting whatever they want often without realizing how extreme their requests are, and not all that instructive for the broader frum community.

TBH, I think most people glossed over that and didn't notice that it even mentioned where the person was from.

[zh cohen]

To counter the negativity, a fellow shliach just shared the following message he got from someone -

Sholom Aleichem,

I happened to be coming to *** tomorrow. I live in *** and would be happy to bring anything that you might need food wise, etc.

My cell is ***...

[yelped]

To counter the negativity, a fellow shliach just shared the following message he got from someone -

Sounds like someone who reads DDMS.

[Dan]

To counter the negativity, a fellow shliach just shared the following message he got from someone -

Nice! I try to do this whenever I go to remote locations. Even if they say no, consider bringing some snacks or candy that their kids might enjoy.

[Suave]

To counter the negativity, a fellow shliach just shared the following message he got from someone -

I have sent dozens of messages like this - By now I have probably shlepped well over 50 packages (mostly large suitcases filled with food) to chabad houses across the world.

Not sure why it's such a chiddush. It should be a default planning step for any trip IMHO.