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I created an account to say this

I am a survivor of abuse

I tried to type up a longer, more detailed post but it got too hard. The bottom line is the following

There's no such thing as universal feelings, reactions, desires, needs that all victims share. Each one is an individual who suffered alone and carries the unique scars that stay with them and each one will react to future situations in life in their own way.

Therefore, there is no single response to abuse that will leave all victims feeling safe, secure, validated, supported, closure and everything else all the well meaning people here want to give them.

However, I think there is a single response that would leave all victims feeling further pain and trauma and that is "It can't be."

Rabbi Shimon Russell - How to Safeguard and Protect our Children

https://youtu.be/fefqSvXf0JI


« Last edited by Yehuda57 on January 12, 2022, 05:44:00 PM »

Author Topic: Chaim Walder dies  (Read 41461 times)

Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1260 on: January 13, 2022, 04:24:32 PM »
According to Norman Blumenthal there are two types of children that are especially vulnerable; those with developmental issues/ disabilities, and those who are actually high functioning but are thrill and danger seekers. The latter are more likely to respond to an abuser who wants to show them his hideout etc.

It sounds to me like aygart described a third category, but there can be overlaps.

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1261 on: January 13, 2022, 08:13:37 PM »

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1262 on: January 16, 2022, 12:53:06 AM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:

Quote
י  אף ישוע הנוצרי שדימה שיהיה משיח, ונהרג בבית דין--כבר נתנבא בו דנייאל, שנאמר "ובני פריצי עמך, יינשאו להעמיד חזון--ונכשלו" (דנייאל יא,יד).  וכי יש מכשול גדול מזה:  שכל הנביאים דיברו שהמשיח גואל ישראל ומושיעם, ומקבץ נדחיהם ומחזק מצוותן; וזה גרם לאבד ישראל בחרב, ולפזר שאריתם ולהשפילם, ולהחליף התורה, ולהטעות רוב העולם לעבוד אלוה מבלעדי ה'.

יא  אבל מחשבות בורא עולם--אין כוח באדם להשיגם, כי לא דרכינו דרכיו ולא מחשבותינו מחשבותיו.  וכל הדברים האלו של ישוע הנוצרי, ושל זה הישמעאלי שעמד אחריו--אינן אלא ליישר דרך למלך המשיח, ולתקן את העולם כולו לעבוד את ה' ביחד:  שנאמר "כי אז אהפוך אל עמים, שפה ברורה, לקרוא כולם בשם ה', ולעובדו שכם אחד" (ראה צפניה ג,ט).

יב  כיצד:  כבר נתמלא העולם כולו מדברי המשיח, ומדברי התורה ומדברי המצוות, ופשטו דברים אלו באיים רחוקים, ובעמים רבים ערלי לב; והם נושאים ונותנים בדברים אלו, ובמצוות התורה--אלו אומרים מצוות אלו אמת היו, וכבר בטלו בזמן הזה, ולא היו נוהגות לדורות.  ואלו אומרים דברים נסתרות יש בהם, ואינן כפשוטן, וכבר בא משיח, וגילה נסתריהם.

I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1263 on: January 16, 2022, 01:18:03 AM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:





https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/news-roundup/1-9-22-news-roundup-can-better-chaim-walder-moment-covid-1759-airline-kosher-meal-surfside-collapse-taliban-resort-gunfire-hertz-rental-arrests-free-audi-q3/#The_Chaim_Walder_Moment
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1264 on: January 16, 2022, 07:03:41 AM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:

Pretty sure I made a similar point upthread, in referring to the topic title and how this has become the CSA master thread.

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1265 on: January 16, 2022, 07:16:53 AM »


https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/news-roundup/1-9-22-news-roundup-can-better-chaim-walder-moment-covid-1759-airline-kosher-meal-surfside-collapse-taliban-resort-gunfire-hertz-rental-arrests-free-audi-q3/#The_Chaim_Walder_Moment

Pretty sure I made a similar point upthread, in referring to the topic title and how this has become the CSA master thread.

So should my message be deleted for violation of the DDF Cardinal Sin, or is it OK to have the same idea expressed differently by someone who didn't read every DDF or DDMS post?

The above thought came to mind after some other things that surfaced on Shabbos, which I might post about a little later.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1266 on: January 16, 2022, 08:10:15 AM »
Am I the only one who is curious about what JJ wrote in the post before to which Dan responded "eh"?

Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1267 on: January 16, 2022, 09:09:35 AM »
So should my message be deleted for violation of the DDF Cardinal Sin, or is it OK to have the same idea expressed differently by someone who didn't read every DDF or DDMS post?

The above thought came to mind after some other things that surfaced on Shabbos, which I might post about a little later.

For me it wasnt repost! rather an agreement. Its actually nice to see similar ideas presented differently, as sometimes each presentation expresses facets that would otherwise be missed.

Online Euclid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1268 on: January 16, 2022, 09:33:02 AM »
Am I the only one who is curious about what JJ wrote in the post before to which Dan responded "eh"?
"is אלף pronounced Ah-leph or Eh-leph?"

Wrong answers only

Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1269 on: January 16, 2022, 09:49:33 AM »
Am I the only one who is curious about what JJ wrote in the post before to which Dan responded "eh"?

Eh dont know and eh dont care

What difference does it make ehnyway?

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1270 on: January 16, 2022, 09:57:16 AM »
"is אלף pronounced Ah-leph or Eh-leph?"

Wrong answers only
friedman

Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1271 on: January 16, 2022, 09:57:45 AM »

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1272 on: January 16, 2022, 09:58:06 AM »
Eh dont know and eh dont care

What difference does it make ehnyway?
ehxelent ehbservation, ehsherEho

Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1273 on: January 16, 2022, 09:59:10 AM »
ehxelent ehbservation, ehsherEho

Lehmme ghess, yeh wehnt mehr lehks? Herd pehss.

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1274 on: January 16, 2022, 10:01:17 AM »
#ClevelandAccents
Feelings don't care about your facts

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1275 on: January 16, 2022, 10:02:04 AM »
Lehmme ghess, yeh wehnt mehr lehks? Herd pehss.
And that, my grandchildren, is how the Chabad accent evolved from the Russian "Tei-reh" to "Teh-reh".

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1276 on: January 16, 2022, 10:08:04 AM »
And that, my grandchildren, is how the Chabad accent evolved from the Russian "Tei-reh" to "Teh-reh".
Starting to see where gezeh comes from
Feelings don't care about your facts

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1277 on: January 16, 2022, 10:25:50 AM »

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1278 on: January 16, 2022, 10:47:26 AM »
So should my message be deleted for violation of the DDF Cardinal Sin, or is it OK to have the same idea expressed differently by someone who didn't read every DDF or DDMS post?

The above thought came to mind after some other things that surfaced on Shabbos, which I might post about a little later.
No cardinal sin. I toned down that thought after JJ suggested during the editing process that it was too positive for him.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1279 on: January 16, 2022, 03:11:45 PM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:

In the same vein, think of the massive kiddush Hashem caused by the gas chambers. Theres no zechus or gratefulness awarded to the perpetrators.