Topic Wiki

I created an account to say this

I am a survivor of abuse

I tried to type up a longer, more detailed post but it got too hard. The bottom line is the following

There's no such thing as universal feelings, reactions, desires, needs that all victims share. Each one is an individual who suffered alone and carries the unique scars that stay with them and each one will react to future situations in life in their own way.

Therefore, there is no single response to abuse that will leave all victims feeling safe, secure, validated, supported, closure and everything else all the well meaning people here want to give them.

However, I think there is a single response that would leave all victims feeling further pain and trauma and that is "It can't be."

Rabbi Shimon Russell - How to Safeguard and Protect our Children

https://youtu.be/fefqSvXf0JI


« Last edited by Yehuda57 on January 12, 2022, 05:44:00 PM »

Author Topic: Chaim Walder dies  (Read 58746 times)

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 12782
  • Total likes: 4716
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1300 on: January 25, 2022, 07:08:44 PM »
https://www.inn.co.il/news/539049

Burning of his books next to his kever.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline TimT

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 20K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 21058
  • Total likes: 4415
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 12
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1301 on: January 25, 2022, 09:30:28 PM »
https://www.inn.co.il/news/539049

Burning of his books next to his kever.
It wonít be the victims who deface his grave, it'll be social justice warriors.

Offline Euclid

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 3427
  • Total likes: 3340
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile

Offline koplonko

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite
  • ****
  • Join Date: Aug 2014
  • Posts: 290
  • Total likes: 117
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: brooklyn
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1303 on: January 30, 2022, 07:07:28 PM »

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 12782
  • Total likes: 4716
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1304 on: January 30, 2022, 07:53:24 PM »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline yelped

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Mar 2015
  • Posts: 7745
  • Total likes: 1853
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 28
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1305 on: January 30, 2022, 08:26:28 PM »
https://haemtza.blogspot.com/2022/01/the-role-of-rabbinic-authority-in.html

Wow
Very sad and painful. And to think this is just one of dozens....

And I continue to get flack for disparaging the unhealthy attitude of "Daas Torah".

Offline Greatone

  • DansDeals Copper Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: Jan 2022
  • Posts: 1
  • Total likes: 9
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1306 on: January 30, 2022, 08:29:14 PM »
Truly a wow letter.

However I don't get the daas Torah aspect. CW was not a rav at all, perhaps not even a Talmid chacham. Why does this particular case cast doubt on daas Torah?

Offline Mordyk

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2013
  • Posts: 3954
  • Total likes: 827
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: Some of this and some of that.
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1307 on: January 30, 2022, 08:33:40 PM »
« Last Edit: January 30, 2022, 08:57:52 PM by Mordyk »
#TYH

Offline EliJelly

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jan 2019
  • Posts: 1884
  • Total likes: 1494
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1308 on: January 30, 2022, 09:10:54 PM »
https://haemtza.blogspot.com/2022/01/the-role-of-rabbinic-authority-in.html

Wow
Just wow.. opened me up to a horrible world :'(.  At least I got some understanding of which I was lacking before.

That's likely the core issue why there isn't enough sympathy and support for these victims. The average person (me included) cannot imagine what happened, what sexual abuse is all about, and frankly don't even want to picturize anything of the disgusting actions associated with it. They have no idea what urges sick people to behave sickly and maybe even have some pity on these people for being sick. It's very hard trying to put yourself in a situation you know nothing about and unfortunately what you get is that people don't understand the victims fully.

Offline LNS

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Silver Elite
  • *****
  • Join Date: Aug 2017
  • Posts: 654
  • Total likes: 198
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile

Offline yandmk

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2014
  • Posts: 1943
  • Total likes: 236
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 28
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1310 on: January 30, 2022, 09:27:45 PM »
blocked....can someone post
Probably exceeds the max amount of characters a post on this website can handle....
It's written from emotion but not well edited and is very very very repetitive.

Offline Mordyk

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2013
  • Posts: 3954
  • Total likes: 827
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: Some of this and some of that.
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1311 on: January 30, 2022, 09:46:59 PM »
Probably exceeds the max amount of characters a post on this website can handle....
It's written from emotion but not well edited and is very very very repetitive.
Because it's not a well written story with editors reviewing.  It's written from the heart of a broken soul

Offline Euclid

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 3427
  • Total likes: 3340
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1312 on: January 30, 2022, 11:13:22 PM »

Offline Euclid

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 3427
  • Total likes: 3340
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1313 on: January 31, 2022, 01:16:40 AM »
Indeed WOW.

Is the letter available in the original Hebrew?
Doesn't seem like it. Though he says it was translated in conjunction with her, so very likely it remains true to the original (she lives in the US, assuming she knows English).

Offline LNS

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Silver Elite
  • *****
  • Join Date: Aug 2017
  • Posts: 654
  • Total likes: 198
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1314 on: January 31, 2022, 10:15:53 AM »

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 12782
  • Total likes: 4716
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1315 on: January 31, 2022, 01:16:17 PM »
https://haemtza.blogspot.com/2022/01/the-role-of-rabbinic-authority-in.html

Wow

I am thinking that I should show this to my kids, not sure from what age. What are others thinking about this?
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 20K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 28073
  • Total likes: 4892
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 77
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1316 on: January 31, 2022, 01:18:52 PM »
I am thinking that I should show this to my kids, not sure from what age. What are others thinking about this?

I have mixed feelings about this. It certainly drives the point home, but since itís written from a deeply emotional and painful place it might be too much.

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 12782
  • Total likes: 4716
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1317 on: January 31, 2022, 01:34:59 PM »
I have mixed feelings about this. It certainly drives the point home, but since itís written from a deeply emotional and painful place it might be too much.

My thoughts are that in today's day and age they will find out more and more sooner or later, I am thinking that it's safer to introduce this myself so that they feel comfortable talking about it, asking questions of me, rather than keeping doubts inside or going elsewhere. I was thinking 15 and over (the younger ones might also have a language barrier), my wife was thinking that our 10 year old daughter might also be a candidate for reading this.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 20K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 28073
  • Total likes: 4892
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 77
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1318 on: January 31, 2022, 01:40:37 PM »
My thoughts are that in today's day and age they will find out more and more sooner or later, I am thinking that it's safer to introduce this myself so that they feel comfortable talking about it, asking questions of me, rather than keeping doubts inside or going elsewhere. I was thinking 15 and over (the younger ones might also have a language barrier), my wife was thinking that our 10 year old daughter might also be a candidate for reading this.

Some of it is pretty graphic, I donít have any daughters or 10y/os, but it sounds like a lot to me. They will find out more, but do you think they would find something of this degree of intensity before adulthood?

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 12782
  • Total likes: 4716
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1319 on: January 31, 2022, 01:43:06 PM »
Some of it is pretty graphic, I donít have any daughters or 10y/os, but it sounds like a lot to me. They will find out more, but do you think they would find something of this degree of intensity before adulthood?

Talk to educators. Kids know a lot. I agree it is graphic, which is why I thought 15 and older (and was excluding my soon to be 14 y/o son.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan