Chaim Walder dies

[tov hashem]

and there should be video and audio recording of all meetings that should be handed to the client/patient etc. After every encounter.

I hope that such stories will stop the way outdoor crime got lowered due to surveillance, hopefully there will be a solution for that.

[mgarfin]

The abuse cases happen to those whose parents didn't talk to them in advance. Those who had talks with their parents about "the bees and the birds" and about urges and difficulties, are by far less likely to be victims of abuse.

less likely, I'm not sure if far less likely.

There are very young kids that don't grasp the talk.
Also, ppl that are Rabbi, counselors have some authority and can persuade kids that have been told it is wrong.

[Euclid]

.

[ah giten]

Another thought that came to mind is that every therapist, clergyman, teacher, etc. should have signs that are visible from any direction quoting the mishna and reminding that "עין רואה, ואוזן שומע וכל מעשיך בספר נכתבים" and there should be video and audio recording of all meetings that should be handed to the client/patient etc. After every encounter.

These cases usually come up 20 years later.
The footage is long gone by then.

[as2]

These cases usually come up 20 years later.
The footage is long gone by then.

Footage would be a prevention, not for proof.

[whacked1]

Another thought that came to mind is that every therapist, clergyman, teacher, etc. should have signs that are visible from any direction quoting the mishna and reminding that "עין רואה, ואוזן שומע וכל מעשיך בספר נכתבים" and there should be video and audio recording of all meetings that should be handed to the client/patient etc. After every encounter.

I believe when a certain story broke in yeshivas, most yeshivas (that i know) changed their classroom doors to those with windows

[EliJelly]

I don't think such stories can happen if people know and keep the laws of yichud.
   

+1000
Seems from this case and other cases too that these male therapists were sitting regularly with challenged girls in their office in a very private setting. What happened to yichud? I'm no expert in yichud but my understanding is that even if they leave the door lock open, if their experience is that nobody will dare walk into their office without asking, then there is very likely a yichud violation there. So how can a person violating yichud on a daily basis be trusted? How can a school/parent be comfortable sending their child to such a therapist?

[ExGingi]

These cases usually come up 20 years later.
The footage is long gone by then.

Not if handed over to client/patient etc immediately after session (it should be a legal requirement).

[ExGingi]

less likely, I'm not sure if far less likely.

There are very young kids that don't grasp the talk.
Also, ppl that are Rabbi, counselors have some authority and can persuade kids that have been told it is wrong.

Talk to people/educators in the know. It is far less likely. Predators test the waters first, a child (usually this isn't toddlers were talking about) that has had a talk with his or her parents will report anything right away. And at the very least won't be easy prey, causing the predator to move on.

[nbfromnj]

https://dcf.vermont.gov/sites/dcf/files/Prevention/docs/Protecting-Children.pdf

[ah giten]

Not if handed over to client/patient etc immediately after session (it should be a legal requirement).

20 years later they can always claim he handed over only 29 out of 30 sessions, he took me once to a different office.
It's 20 years later...

Point being if somebody wants to put something on the therapist, or on any person,  it's not too hard, and there is no real way of protection.

[Yehuda57]

Let's come back the (important) factual discussion and all it's repercussions right after the Shiva.
Until then, let's have a safe thread for people to grieve and share their emotions without having to defend or attack anyone.

I, too, do not wish to get into a back and forth, and I definitely don't want to appear to be attacking you in any way. I do wish to point out that the statement I've quoted here while seeming benign or even praiseworthy, can be quite harmful for abuse victims if that "safe thread" means calling credibly accused abusers "special" and lauding the heaps and piles of good they've accomplished, without a word of empathy for the survivors.

This has been my point throughout. This story is tragic every which way you look at it. For the individuals involved, their families, and the entire global Chareidi community. And through the toughness of it all, our goal, first and foremost, has to be the emotional and physical safety and wellbeing of the victims of abuse, and how our comments can and will affect them.

[aygart]

There are a couple of places that mention that R Eliyahu posted an image of a psak BD implicating him with the other party's names obscured. Does anyone know where to find this?

[ExGingi]

https://dcf.vermont.gov/sites/dcf/files/Prevention/docs/Protecting-Children.pdf

Thanks for posting

Protecting Your Children: Advice from Child Molesters
...
Education: teach your child healthy values about sexuality. If you don’t teach your child... I will.

[CountValentine]

This is for Catholics and mandatory for many dealing with kids. Anything like this in your community?
https://www.virtusonline.org/virtus/productsandservices.cfm#training
As a coach I was required to take it.

[dasmo801]

Unless I hear Daas Torah saying not to read his book, I will continue to keep them/buy them. They are great books, and unless there is a reason not to have them, I have no issue with my kids reading them (as long as they don't know anything about the author).

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYAoTBOFztu/?utm_medium=copy_link

[mgarfin]

https://dcf.vermont.gov/sites/dcf/files/Prevention/docs/Protecting-Children.pdf

Research indicates that 25% of children are sexually abused prior to their 18th birthday

Yah?

[TimT]

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYAoTBOFztu/?utm_medium=copy_link

Am I understanding correctly that according to this Rabbi the reason to throw the books out is because he took his life & is therefore forever tainted, but as long as he’s alive it would be ok ?

[yeshivabucher]

Am I understanding correctly that according to this Rabbi the reason to throw the books out is because he took his life & is therefore forever tainted, but as long as he’s alive it would be ok ?

from what I understood because he took his life therfore there will never be a clear resolution and because of that his name will always be tainted with sexual assault

[TimT]

from what I understood because he took his life therr will never be a clear resolution and because of that his name will always be tainted with sexual assault and therefore due to the fact that his name is tainted with sexual assault it should be thrown out

So 2 days ago his books were fine ?
Any survivor seeing them wouldn’t have suffered again ?