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I created an account to say this

I am a survivor of abuse

I tried to type up a longer, more detailed post but it got too hard. The bottom line is the following

There's no such thing as universal feelings, reactions, desires, needs that all victims share. Each one is an individual who suffered alone and carries the unique scars that stay with them and each one will react to future situations in life in their own way.

Therefore, there is no single response to abuse that will leave all victims feeling safe, secure, validated, supported, closure and everything else all the well meaning people here want to give them.

However, I think there is a single response that would leave all victims feeling further pain and trauma and that is "It can't be."

Rabbi Shimon Russell - How to Safeguard and Protect our Children

https://youtu.be/fefqSvXf0JI


« Last edited by Yehuda57 on January 12, 2022, 05:44:00 PM »

Author Topic: Chaim Walder dies  (Read 43089 times)

Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #80 on: December 27, 2021, 05:00:03 PM »
*דברים שאמר רבינו מרן הגרי"ג אדלשטיין שליט"א על הסיפור הטראגי •*


הבא על אשת איש יש לו חלק לעולם הבא. המלבין פני חבירו ברבים אין לו חלק לעולם הבא. גם אם עפ"י דין יש "למיחש מיבעי", אין בכך שום היתר ורמז להיתר לשפוך דם ולרצוח יהודי. פשיטא שזה נקרא שרצחו אותו ופשיטא שאין לרוצח חלק לעולם הבא. ברור לגמרי שהלחץ הגדול שלחצו אותו הביא אותו לידי חולי הנפש והרג את עצמו באונס. זה נקרא רציחה.

What was done to him besides the secular papers publishing stories and preventing him from continuing? I have not been following closely.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline flyingace

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #81 on: December 27, 2021, 05:00:22 PM »
*דברים שאמר רבינו מרן הגרי"ג אדלשטיין שליט"א על הסיפור הטראגי •*


הבא על אשת איש יש לו חלק לעולם הבא. המלבין פני חבירו ברבים אין לו חלק לעולם הבא. גם אם עפ"י דין יש "למיחש מיבעי", אין בכך שום היתר ורמז להיתר לשפוך דם ולרצוח יהודי. פשיטא שזה נקרא שרצחו אותו ופשיטא שאין לרוצח חלק לעולם הבא. ברור לגמרי שהלחץ הגדול שלחצו אותו הביא אותו לידי חולי הנפש והרג את עצמו באונס. זה נקרא רציחה.
Whoa!

Offline WonderingYid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #82 on: December 27, 2021, 05:02:07 PM »
*דברים שאמר רבינו מרן הגרי"ג אדלשטיין שליט"א על הסיפור הטראגי •*


הבא על אשת איש יש לו חלק לעולם הבא. המלבין פני חבירו ברבים אין לו חלק לעולם הבא. גם אם עפ"י דין יש "למיחש מיבעי", אין בכך שום היתר ורמז להיתר לשפוך דם ולרצוח יהודי. פשיטא שזה נקרא שרצחו אותו ופשיטא שאין לרוצח חלק לעולם הבא. ברור לגמרי שהלחץ הגדול שלחצו אותו הביא אותו לידי חולי הנפש והרג את עצמו באונס. זה נקרא רציחה.
Can someone translate?

Offline as2

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #83 on: December 27, 2021, 05:08:40 PM »
What was done to him besides the secular papers publishing stories and preventing him from continuing? I have not been following closely.
Based on his letter, you can read what he believes happened to him, but he obviously saw it the way an accused would.
Memories last forever, make them while you can.

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #84 on: December 27, 2021, 05:10:54 PM »
*דברים שאמר רבינו מרן הגרי"ג אדלשטיין שליט"א על הסיפור הטראגי •*


הבא על אשת איש יש לו חלק לעולם הבא. המלבין פני חבירו ברבים אין לו חלק לעולם הבא. גם אם עפ"י דין יש "למיחש מיבעי", אין בכך שום היתר ורמז להיתר לשפוך דם ולרצוח יהודי. פשיטא שזה נקרא שרצחו אותו ופשיטא שאין לרוצח חלק לעולם הבא. ברור לגמרי שהלחץ הגדול שלחצו אותו הביא אותו לידי חולי הנפש והרג את עצמו באונס. זה נקרא רציחה.

By the same token, a sexual abuser is a rodef and can be stopped

Offline TimT

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #85 on: December 27, 2021, 05:11:43 PM »
What was done to him besides the secular papers publishing stories
Heimishe media too. Stores pulled his books off the shelves. And this is here locally in NY. I don’t know about over there.

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #86 on: December 27, 2021, 05:12:29 PM »
I do believe that the books were sincere and their value is not diminished regardless of whether the allegations are true.

This may be true if his books did not deal with children's emotional health. I know we're far from the only ones, but I've long joked about him being an abuser with relatives, (obviously without *actually* believing he was an abuser.) His stories are very emotionally manipulative and not at all healthy educational products, IMHO.
Quote from: ExGingi
Yehuda57 needs to spew a certain amount of sarcasm in order to survive through the day.

Offline Happyguy

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #87 on: December 27, 2021, 05:14:31 PM »
*דברים שאמר רבינו מרן הגרי"ג אדלשטיין שליט"א על הסיפור הטראגי •*


הבא על אשת איש יש לו חלק לעולם הבא. המלבין פני חבירו ברבים אין לו חלק לעולם הבא. גם אם עפ"י דין יש "למיחש מיבעי", אין בכך שום היתר ורמז להיתר לשפוך דם ולרצוח יהודי. פשיטא שזה נקרא שרצחו אותו ופשיטא שאין לרוצח חלק לעולם הבא. ברור לגמרי שהלחץ הגדול שלחצו אותו הביא אותו לידי חולי הנפש והרג את עצמו באונס. זה נקרא רציחה.
Source?

Offline ah giten

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #88 on: December 27, 2021, 05:17:01 PM »
Who has checked this out and verified? Besides the media...
The media also hasn't verified. I don't think the names are public, and from the be"d itself, it also says a friend said about the friend.
Also the 22 eidus, I don't think are 22 women coming forward.
Some of the stories are hard to believe, if it's truly going on for this long.

Offline Euclid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #89 on: December 27, 2021, 05:42:31 PM »
The media also hasn't verified. I don't think the names are public, and from the be"d itself, it also says a friend said about the friend.
Also the 22 eidus, I don't think are 22 women coming forward.
Some of the stories are hard to believe, if it's truly going on for this long.
WhatsApp. Supposedly verified.

Online simple26

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #90 on: December 27, 2021, 05:45:02 PM »
What was done to him besides the secular papers publishing stories and preventing him from continuing? I have not been following closely.
Feldhiem stoped publishing, his radio show stopped broadcasting newspapers also stopped his column
In short boycotted

Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #91 on: December 27, 2021, 05:46:41 PM »
Feldhiem stoped publishing, his radio show stopped broadcasting newspapers also stopped his column
In short boycotted
Just about all of that is lmeichush.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online simple26

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #92 on: December 27, 2021, 06:04:31 PM »
Just about all of that is lmeichush.
Not sure what else could have been “done” to him
Fact is he lost his name and income overnight

Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #93 on: December 27, 2021, 06:07:40 PM »
Not sure what else could have been “done” to him
Fact is he lost his name and income overnight
Okay, but should those all happen from what we know at this point? If yes then what should have been done differently?
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline CountValentine

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #94 on: December 27, 2021, 06:09:45 PM »
I do believe that the books were sincere and their value is not diminished regardless of whether the allegations are true.
If allegations are true then they are pretty much worthless if the person buying them knows the background.
You're so far up Trump's a** you can see Giuliani's feet.  HT Baruch

Online YitzyS

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #95 on: December 27, 2021, 06:34:59 PM »
Got this booklet on WhatsApp. Have no idea who made it.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_42HxXVyKfIk1a6OSMAtWzB_9XCGAngd/view?usp=sharing

Offline neveryou

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #96 on: December 27, 2021, 06:37:34 PM »
.

Offline Dan

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #97 on: December 27, 2021, 06:38:46 PM »
.
Are we going to do this to every suspected suicide victim for all time?
Genug shoin.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #98 on: December 27, 2021, 06:39:19 PM »
.
About as comical as your post in the guidance thread....

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #99 on: December 27, 2021, 06:44:01 PM »
I feel like many here have the wrong attitude.

The halacha generally is that until allegations are confirmed by two witnesses, it's "Chashdaihu V'kabdeihu" - suspect but respect. You are not allowed to believe the allegations, but you must put safeguards into place to protect potential victims.

Today, the man is no longer alive, and even if all allegations are true, he can no longer harm anyone. Thus, until we have a clear psak from a reputable bais din, there is no reason to believe any of the allegation. Yes, I know some will be quick to say that the victims will suffer if nobody believes them, but 2 points - 1) who said that's a reason to permit being mekabel lashon harah, and 2) I'm pretty confident that none of the alleged victims read DDF.

That being the case, even if Yonason Schwarz's voice note is suspect, and we would not be inclined to believe it on a standard matter, here we should cling to the belief that the man was innocent. All the talk about 'dozens of victims' is not coming from sources we would trust if they were the ones telling us not to eat from our favorite restaurant. So why are we being so quick to condemn a man who can no longer do any harm?