Topic Wiki

I created an account to say this

I am a survivor of abuse

I tried to type up a longer, more detailed post but it got too hard. The bottom line is the following

There's no such thing as universal feelings, reactions, desires, needs that all victims share. Each one is an individual who suffered alone and carries the unique scars that stay with them and each one will react to future situations in life in their own way.

Therefore, there is no single response to abuse that will leave all victims feeling safe, secure, validated, supported, closure and everything else all the well meaning people here want to give them.

However, I think there is a single response that would leave all victims feeling further pain and trauma and that is "It can't be."

Rabbi Shimon Russell - How to Safeguard and Protect our Children

https://youtu.be/fefqSvXf0JI


« Last edited by Yehuda57 on January 12, 2022, 05:44:00 PM »

Author Topic: Chaim Walder dies  (Read 123441 times)

Offline Euclid

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 4912
  • Total likes: 6144
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1260 on: January 13, 2022, 08:13:37 PM »

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15630
  • Total likes: 7717
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1261 on: January 16, 2022, 12:53:06 AM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:

Quote
י  אף ישוע הנוצרי שדימה שיהיה משיח, ונהרג בבית דין--כבר נתנבא בו דנייאל, שנאמר "ובני פריצי עמך, יינשאו להעמיד חזון--ונכשלו" (דנייאל יא,יד).  וכי יש מכשול גדול מזה:  שכל הנביאים דיברו שהמשיח גואל ישראל ומושיעם, ומקבץ נדחיהם ומחזק מצוותן; וזה גרם לאבד ישראל בחרב, ולפזר שאריתם ולהשפילם, ולהחליף התורה, ולהטעות רוב העולם לעבוד אלוה מבלעדי ה'.

יא  אבל מחשבות בורא עולם--אין כוח באדם להשיגם, כי לא דרכינו דרכיו ולא מחשבותינו מחשבותיו.  וכל הדברים האלו של ישוע הנוצרי, ושל זה הישמעאלי שעמד אחריו--אינן אלא ליישר דרך למלך המשיח, ולתקן את העולם כולו לעבוד את ה' ביחד:  שנאמר "כי אז אהפוך אל עמים, שפה ברורה, לקרוא כולם בשם ה', ולעובדו שכם אחד" (ראה צפניה ג,ט).

יב  כיצד:  כבר נתמלא העולם כולו מדברי המשיח, ומדברי התורה ומדברי המצוות, ופשטו דברים אלו באיים רחוקים, ובעמים רבים ערלי לב; והם נושאים ונותנים בדברים אלו, ובמצוות התורה--אלו אומרים מצוות אלו אמת היו, וכבר בטלו בזמן הזה, ולא היו נוהגות לדורות.  ואלו אומרים דברים נסתרות יש בהם, ואינן כפשוטן, וכבר בא משיח, וגילה נסתריהם.

I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline Dan

  • Administrator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 50K Diamond Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 67601
  • Total likes: 16913
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16442
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: CLE
  • Programs: UA GS, AA EXP, DL Dirt, Hyatt Glob, Fairmont Lifetime Plat, DD Diamond, Blocked By @NeriaKraus
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1262 on: January 16, 2022, 01:18:03 AM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:





https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/news-roundup/1-9-22-news-roundup-can-better-chaim-walder-moment-covid-1759-airline-kosher-meal-surfside-collapse-taliban-resort-gunfire-hertz-rental-arrests-free-audi-q3/#The_Chaim_Walder_Moment
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 30535
  • Total likes: 7832
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1263 on: January 16, 2022, 07:03:41 AM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:

Pretty sure I made a similar point upthread, in referring to the topic title and how this has become the CSA master thread.
100% of Likes will be donated to support our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15630
  • Total likes: 7717
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1264 on: January 16, 2022, 07:16:53 AM »


https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/news-roundup/1-9-22-news-roundup-can-better-chaim-walder-moment-covid-1759-airline-kosher-meal-surfside-collapse-taliban-resort-gunfire-hertz-rental-arrests-free-audi-q3/#The_Chaim_Walder_Moment

Pretty sure I made a similar point upthread, in referring to the topic title and how this has become the CSA master thread.

So should my message be deleted for violation of the DDF Cardinal Sin, or is it OK to have the same idea expressed differently by someone who didn't read every DDF or DDMS post?

The above thought came to mind after some other things that surfaced on Shabbos, which I might post about a little later.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online YitzyS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 5552
  • Total likes: 13698
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 34
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1265 on: January 16, 2022, 08:10:15 AM »
Am I the only one who is curious about what JJ wrote in the post before to which Dan responded "eh"?

Online AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 30535
  • Total likes: 7832
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1266 on: January 16, 2022, 09:09:35 AM »
So should my message be deleted for violation of the DDF Cardinal Sin, or is it OK to have the same idea expressed differently by someone who didn't read every DDF or DDMS post?

The above thought came to mind after some other things that surfaced on Shabbos, which I might post about a little later.

For me it wasn’t “repost!” rather an agreement. It’s actually nice to see similar ideas presented differently, as sometimes each presentation expresses facets that would otherwise be missed.
100% of Likes will be donated to support our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael

Offline Euclid

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 4912
  • Total likes: 6144
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1267 on: January 16, 2022, 09:33:02 AM »
Am I the only one who is curious about what JJ wrote in the post before to which Dan responded "eh"?
"is אלף pronounced Ah-leph or Eh-leph?"

Wrong answers only

Online AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 30535
  • Total likes: 7832
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1268 on: January 16, 2022, 09:49:33 AM »
Am I the only one who is curious about what JJ wrote in the post before to which Dan responded "eh"?

Eh don’t know and eh don’t care

What difference does it make ehnyway?
100% of Likes will be donated to support our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael

Online YitzyS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 5552
  • Total likes: 13698
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 34
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1269 on: January 16, 2022, 09:57:16 AM »
"is אלף pronounced Ah-leph or Eh-leph?"

Wrong answers only
friedman

Online AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 30535
  • Total likes: 7832
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1270 on: January 16, 2022, 09:57:45 AM »
100% of Likes will be donated to support our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael

Online YitzyS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 5552
  • Total likes: 13698
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 34
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1271 on: January 16, 2022, 09:58:06 AM »
Eh don’t know and eh don’t care

What difference does it make ehnyway?
ehxelent ehbservation, ehsherEho

Online AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 30535
  • Total likes: 7832
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1272 on: January 16, 2022, 09:59:10 AM »
ehxelent ehbservation, ehsherEho

Lehmme ghess, yeh wehnt mehr lehks? Herd pehss.
100% of Likes will be donated to support our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael

Offline aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17404
  • Total likes: 14340
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1273 on: January 16, 2022, 10:01:17 AM »
#ClevelandAccents
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online YitzyS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 5552
  • Total likes: 13698
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 34
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1274 on: January 16, 2022, 10:02:04 AM »
Lehmme ghess, yeh wehnt mehr lehks? Herd pehss.
And that, my grandchildren, is how the Chabad accent evolved from the Russian "Tei-reh" to "Teh-reh".

Offline aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17404
  • Total likes: 14340
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1275 on: January 16, 2022, 10:08:04 AM »
And that, my grandchildren, is how the Chabad accent evolved from the Russian "Tei-reh" to "Teh-reh".
Starting to see where gezeh comes from
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 30535
  • Total likes: 7832
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1276 on: January 16, 2022, 10:25:50 AM »
100% of Likes will be donated to support our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael

Offline Dan

  • Administrator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 50K Diamond Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 67601
  • Total likes: 16913
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16442
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: CLE
  • Programs: UA GS, AA EXP, DL Dirt, Hyatt Glob, Fairmont Lifetime Plat, DD Diamond, Blocked By @NeriaKraus
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1277 on: January 16, 2022, 10:47:26 AM »
So should my message be deleted for violation of the DDF Cardinal Sin, or is it OK to have the same idea expressed differently by someone who didn't read every DDF or DDMS post?

The above thought came to mind after some other things that surfaced on Shabbos, which I might post about a little later.
No cardinal sin. I toned down that thought after JJ suggested during the editing process that it was too positive for him.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline yuneeq

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2013
  • Posts: 8611
  • Total likes: 3999
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 10
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: NJ
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1278 on: January 16, 2022, 03:11:45 PM »
I was thinking over Shabbos that maybe CW in a weird way has the זכות of creating a major turning point in awareness, attitudes, and dealings with sexual abuse in our communities.

The following quote from the Rambam came to mind:

In the same vein, think of the massive kiddush Hashem caused by the gas chambers. There’s no zechus or gratefulness awarded to the perpetrators.
Visibly Jewish

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15630
  • Total likes: 7717
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #1279 on: January 16, 2022, 07:07:55 PM »
In the same vein, think of the massive kiddush Hashem caused by the gas chambers. There’s no zechus or gratefulness awarded to the perpetrators.

Which is why I brought the quote from the Rambam.

The Rambam says how many terrible things happened to Jews in the name of אותו האיש - which are the epitome of golus, yet he says that it seems like a preparation for ימות המשיח.

כי לא מחשבותי מחשבותיכם.

I am not saying that CW is יש קונה עולמו בשעה אחת, that determination is not mine to make. ב"ד של מטה needs to act according to the tools given/authorized by the רבש"ע. What I was pondering (and I understand @Dan an @AsherO to be doing the same) is whether in a way that is beyond our comprehension (as to why this way), this is a ירידה לצורך עליה, and CW was the messenger chosen to make the turning point.

No matter how terrible the actions of CW, we cannot compare them to the actions of שונאי ישראל כפשוטו.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan