How to Keep an Elderly Woman Occupied

[Yehuda57]

As for technology, an iPad might be the easiest to master.

[AsherO]

One significant thing not mentioned here explicitly is that having meaningful occupation and social engagement has significant influence on the mental and physical health of a person, especially a senior living alone.

[davidd75]

My wife sometimes calls Torah anytime for wonderful shiurim all you need is any phone(landline)!

[zh cohen]

This is definitely not for her

www.IsraelConnect.today is something like this that doesn't require "learning skills."

The idea is to give Israeli teens an opportunity to practice their English that they learn in school.

They also help with getting set up, so even those who don't do technology can do it.

[aygart]

This is a very important thread about an oft-overlooked issue. Kudos @avromie7.

After my grandfather couldn't work anymore because of knee replacements and ensuing complications, he got pretty bored. My engaged sister was living in his home and left a stack of invitations on the table. When she came home, the envelopes were all stuffed, sealed, and ready to be mailed. Perhaps there is some sort of organization that matches seniors with mosdos and businesses for various tasks, similar to how Yachad matches people with special needs for tasks at businesses and mosdos. If no such organization exists, b'makom shein ish....

There is such an organization in Lakewood

[12/10, 12:00 AM] +1 (: Looking to hire a part time Bookkeeper in office or remote. PCS they have 15 job openings and no one looking for work in these positions. Any one have another place to look? Or know someone?
[12/10, 12:09 AM] +1 (732) : Try contacting A.S.A.P.
Stands for Active Seniors Accomplished Personnel

Rabbi Nosson Reiss
Runs the program of placing seniors in jobs for part time

[ushdadude]

One significant thing not mentioned here explicitly is that having meaningful occupation and social engagement has significant influence on the mental and physical health of a person, especially a senior living alone.

Interesting point. It's not uncommon to see seniors working in the grocery on long Island. For many it's because they didn't plan their retirement properly. For others it's just be a place to be social

[AsherO]

Interesting point. It's not uncommon to see seniors working in the grocery on long Island. For many it's because they didn't plan their retirement properly. For others it's just be a place to be social

For many it's because they didn't plan their retirement properly. For others it's their retirement plan

[ExGingi]

Ever since my grandfather passed away a few years ago, my grandmother is often very bored.

On the weekends she usually has a decent amount of interaction with grandchildren. During the week she goes to some women's gathering a few times a week, but aside from that she doesn't have much else.

If she knew how to knit, she can probably spend a few hours a day making sweaters for her grandchildren, but she doesn't, and she's not about to learn something new like that.

I'm looking for ideas of things for her to do at home that don't have a big learning curve. I'm sure she's not the only one in this predicament.

This is a very important topic, with not enough awareness.

Based on my personal experience with my mother, I would say that the best choice is for one to move to a retirement community/facility while they are still healthy and able.

Unfortunately, my mother refused to do that, where she could have aged in a comfortable place that is well suited for various stages, and rather ended up moving there when she had no choice. First to the assisted living section and then to the nursing section (the difference for her being that in the nursing section they provided activities for the full day every day, rather than half days and not every day in the assisted living section.

IMHO it is much healthier to move to an appropriate living arrangement, where there are many others of similar ages, where friendships can be formed, and appropriate activities exist, rather than living with adult children.

There is a concept called adult daycare, where various activities take place (and usually a meal is also provided). I don't know if Lakewood has something like that. That can work for a while, as people age, changes and new routines become harder.

[biobook]

She reminisces about how in Flatbush she was able to get around even though she didn't drive, but in lakewood she can't.

Maybe this is the place to start then, asking what she would be doing now in Flatbush if she were still there, to get a better idea of just what it was that kept her from feeling bored. 

Was it going to particular places, like a park, shopping, meeting friends?  That would give you some ideas of the kind of opportunities to suggest in Lakewood.

Or was it the "getting around" that she misses? That is, not just being in a store, which your family probably drives her to now, but the time she spent walking to and from the stores, getting some exercise, seeing people, window shopping, watching the hubbub.  If so, maybe she could find one or more walking partners, some women who'd appreciate having an incentive to get up and take a walk, but who also have a car so could drive to varying places to walk - a different neighborhood, along the lake, a shopping district. 

Or was it the freedom to make her own schedule that she misses?  In Flatbush she could go shopping whenever she wanted, while now presumably she needs to coordinate with ride-giving family members.  If that's the problem, then maybe you could set her up with uber or some local equivalent, so that she feels more able to go where she wants, when she wants.

[avromie7]

Maybe this is the place to start then, asking what she would be doing now in Flatbush if she were still there, to get a better idea of just what it was that kept her from feeling bored. 

Was it going to particular places, like a park, shopping, meeting friends?  That would give you some ideas of the kind of opportunities to suggest in Lakewood.

Or was it the "getting around" that she misses? That is, not just being in a store, which your family probably drives her to now, but the time she spent walking to and from the stores, getting some exercise, seeing people, window shopping, watching the hubbub.  If so, maybe she could find one or more walking partners, some women who'd appreciate having an incentive to get up and take a walk, but who also have a car so could drive to varying places to walk - a different neighborhood, along the lake, a shopping district. 

Or was it the freedom to make her own schedule that she misses?  In Flatbush she could go shopping whenever she wanted, while now presumably she needs to coordinate with ride-giving family members.  If that's the problem, then maybe you could set her up with uber or some local equivalent, so that she feels more able to go where she wants, when she wants.

It's definitely this, she talks about how she just walked around the block to go to the eye doctor and get glasses. She says she doesn't feel comfortable taking a taxi.

[ExGingi]

It's definitely this, she talks about how she just walked around the block to go to the eye doctor and get glasses. She says she doesn't feel comfortable taking a taxi.

I can easily relate to that.

Someone who lived most of their adult life in a place where a car wasn't necessary, where shopping was a short walk over, where a visit to a friend or neighbor was a short walk in a lively street, will have a hard time in a place where a car is needed for every little thing.

Senior living places often have shuttles that take the residents shopping and/or to doctor appointments etc. and have a lot of things available in house.

[YitzyS]

I have nothing to add to this conversation, but there were so many likes being given here that I just can't stay out of it.

[David61]

Perhaps you could persuade her that her help is needed with home-making responsibilities, cooking, baking, laundry, home-work, babysitting, etc, for one/some of her children's families.

[davidrotts63]

FB Portal I think is very easy to learn for video calls. She doesn't even have to make the call just answer it from grandkids. Also she can read stories with grandkids for bedtime or before dinner every night.

This is a good one for someone not too tech savvy. But if her kids/grandkids are next door and across the street, video calls don't help much.
We need an grandma-proof tablet, some games, easy use, and of course video calling.
Does FB portal have anything aside from video calling?

[YitzyS]

This is a good one for someone not too tech savvy. But if her kids/grandkids are next door and across the street, video calls don't help much.
We need an grandma-proof tablet, some games, easy use, and of course wordle.
Does FB portal have anything aside from video calling?

FTFY

[ExGingi]

This is a good one for someone not too tech savvy. But if her kids/grandkids are next door and across the street, video calls don't help much.
We need an grandma-proof tablet, some games, easy use, and of course video calling.
Does FB portal have anything aside from video calling?

I got a Lenovo smart display for my mother when she was about 86. With no family around, it was a wonderful device that allowed for video calls. We were surprised that she managed to work it. Maybe at an earlier age she would get more use other than video calls, but for those it was an excellent investment. Prior to getting it I tried an Amazon Echo display but found it too Amazon centric. If the FB portal was available at the time I would have probably tried that.

I did try giving her a tablet, but she simply didn't want it. There are Android launchers that are suited for seniors.

[justaregularguy]

very interesting thread bc i have the opposite scenario- my grandmother had just passed away and we're looking for things for my grandfather to do to get out of the house (and away from the television)

so far we agreed he'll hang out by us and watch his great grandson ransack the house

[ExGingi]

very interesting thread bc i have the opposite scenario- my grandmother had just passed away and we're looking for things for my grandfather to do to get out of the house (and away from the television)

so far we agreed he'll hang out by us and watch his great grandson ransack the house

DDF shidduchim thread?

[justaregularguy]

DDF shidduchim thread?

does she like to watch TV? 

[biobook]

It's definitely this, she talks about how she just walked around the block to go to the eye doctor and get glasses. She says she doesn't feel comfortable taking a taxi.

Because of the expense? The inconvenience?  Riding with a stranger?

Can you find some more acceptable way for her to increase her ability to get around?
 
Is there some sort of ride gemach or bikur cholim that provides rides, at least for doctor visits?  Everyone has to stop driving at some point, if they live long enough, so there must be many others who require this sort of service.

Are there people in the community who give rides around town or to the airport as a way to bring in a bit of income?  Maybe you can put together such a list, and convey to her that it's actually a chessed to give them the business.  And if she can contact the same person each time, that might make her more comfortable with the idea.