Parental support

[herb]

What is considered standard these days for a newly married couple? How much for how long?

[herb]

I'd love to setup a poll but not sure how to narrow down options to just a few

[yelped]

What is considered standard these days for a newly married couple? How much for how long?

Whoa.

Belongs in JS, especially as this is only a thing in certain communities.

[zh cohen]

What is considered standard these days for a newly married couple?

First month's rent + Security deposit.

[TimT]

especially as this is only a thing in certain communities.

So is Covid

[jye]

What is considered standard these days for a newly married couple? How much for how long?

I think 1500 a month for a few years was considered to be kind of the minimum respectable amount in Lakewood not to long ago if you were offering support but that used to cover rent.

[Moshe Green]

What is considered standard these days for a newly married couple? How much for how long?

A) Where does the couple come from? NY, Lakewood, Philly, Baltimore, Miami, Chicago, LA, Toronto, Cleveland, Omaha, UK, etc...
B) Where does the couple live? Lakewood? EY? Kiruv in the middle of the Sahara Desert?
C) What's the plan? Learn for a few years then work? Currently in college? Learn for life? Currently working? Honeymooning?
D) What does the girl do? Work? College? Stay at home wife? Shop?
E) Did the parents buy them a house? Did the couple have any savings?
F) How much do the parents have? Are they a Kollel/Chinuch family or are both parents high powered lawyers? Something in between?
G) Which Yeshiva does the boy learn in and who is his Rosh Yeshiva? Does he demand more?

[AsherO]

E) Did the parents buy them a house?

We’re discussing what the general standards are, parents buying them a home is 100% not the standard and not a question to ask to give context to determining the standard.

[jye]

We’re discussing what the general standards are, parents buying them a home is 100% not the standard and not a question to ask to give context to determining the standard.

In America. In Israel it is very much the standard in some segments of the population.

[TimT]

I think 1500 a month for a few years was considered to be kind of the minimum respectable amount in Lakewood

How do people pull this off, & with a wedding every year or 2 ?

[good sam]

How do people pull this off, & with a wedding every year or 2 ?

They ask the shver for a raise

[AsherO]

In America. In Israel it is very much the standard in some segments of the population.

The way the question is phrased “did they…?” doesn’t help define a standard.

Unless you’re talking about some wealthy sliver of a broader community, you’re probably referring to Shlissel gelt which is more of a down payment IINM.

[zh cohen]

How do people pull this off, & with a wedding every year or 2 ?

Any now you know why 70% guaranteed return on investments, and become a real estate mogul by only working after putting your kids to bed, is so attractive in the frum community...

[TimT]

Any now you know why 70% guaranteed return on investments, and become a real estate mogul by only working after putting your kids to bed, is so attractive in the frum community...

Those are all fantasies, but how do they actually manage it ?

[Moshe Green]

We’re discussing what the general standards are, parents buying them a home is 100% not the standard and not a question to ask to give context to determining the standard.

as was stated, in Israel it is very common for the parents to buy a house and then give 0 support. but even in the US, if the parents decide to give them a large amount upfront in any form, that might lower the amount of support that they give.

[nbfromnj]

What is considered standard these days for a newly married couple? How much for how long?

just ask any shadchan in the community you are curious about.

[jye]

Asked a couple of friends. The informal numbers I’m hearing sound like for Lakewood run of the mil learning boy it would range from around $1500 at the lower end (with $1000 being an outlier) to $2500 or more ($3500 is not unheard of) with some even asking for a commitment of 150k-200k down payment on a house when the time comes. The length of support ranges from 3-7 years with some committing to longer or indefinite. Some provide a credit card for additional expenses as well.

[Moshe123]

Asked a couple of friends. The informal numbers I’m hearing sound like for Lakewood run of the mil learning boy it would range from around $1500 at the lower end (with $1000 being an outlier) to $2500 or more ($3500 is not unheard of) with some even asking for a commitment of 150k-200k down payment on a house when the time comes. The length of support ranges from 3-7 years with some committing to longer or indefinite. Some provide a credit card for additional expenses as well.

Cruel

[yos9694]

Asked a couple of friends. The informal numbers I’m hearing sound like for Lakewood run of the mil learning boy it would range from around $1500 at the lower end (with $1000 being an outlier) to $2500 or more ($3500 is not unheard of) with some even asking for a commitment of 150k-200k down payment on a house when the time comes. The length of support ranges from 3-7 years with some committing to longer or indefinite. Some provide a credit card for additional expenses as well.

Does the shver get a shmitta year?

[bubkiz]

It's a huge issue and it's not going away.
Many Klei Kodesh families (quintessential "Rebbe's daughter") have a very hard time because of this "system".