What kind of Shvigger?

[Yehudaa]

I just don't get it. You're literally saying Mommy.

Why are you hung up on the literal meaning?

If a mother in law appreciates being called Mommy, it's because when you say it she hears "I am hereby treating you with the same respect that I treat my own mother". Don't worry, she's not gonna get confused and start to think she gave birth to you. If she does, then what you call her is the least of her problems.

[Lurker]

I got lucky. My in-laws are Aba and Ima, which is not what I call my parents. I don't associate those terms with my parents, so to me it has its own meaning on par with shver and shviger, but without the awkwardness.

[EliJelly]

Is Shver more universal or people call them Totty too?

[S209]

Is Shver more universal or people call them Totty too?

Yes, of course I call him Tatty too. I assume the same for anyone who uses “Mommy”.

[S209]

I just don't get it. You're literally saying Mommy.

Keep in mind you likely grew up this way, so to you it’s weird, but in my house (and my wife’s) growing up my parents used “Mommy” and “Tatty” to refer to both sets of parents as well, so it’s not foreign to me. To me, it’s very surprising to hear that people say “Shvigger” directly to their MIL’s face. It feels very disrespectful, a derogatory name. But I understand we don’t all have the same exact mindset.

[EliJelly]

Keep in mind you likely grew up this way, so to you it’s weird, but in my house (and my wife’s) growing up my parents used “Mommy” and “Tatty” to refer to both sets of parents as well, so it’s not foreign to me. To me, it’s very surprising to hear that people say “Shvigger” directly to their MIL’s face. It feels very disrespectful, a derogatory name. But I understand we don’t all have the same exact mindset.

True but that makes "Mommy" a term similar to "Bobby", a title of which you have multiple and it loses the importance of what that word is loaded with. It is weird for those who are used that we have one and only Mommy and Totty.

[yelped]

True but that makes "Mommy" a term similar to "Bobby", a title of which you have multiple and it loses the importance of what that word is loaded with. It is weird for those who are used that we have one and only Mommy and Totty.

Exactly.

I'm trying to understand what people's problem is with Shvigger that they had to go take a word that does not mean that .

[S209]

Exactly.

I'm trying to understand what people's problem is with Shvigger that they had to go take a word that does not mean that .

Does any non-Jew in the world call their mother in law “hey mother-in-law”? It’s a chiddush that you do it, not the other way around! They either use their first name or call them “Mom”.

To answer why I think it’s weird, precisely that. You’re using a term engineered specifically for that person, which is often used in a derogatory fashion, so it comes across as disrespectful (to me).

[S209]

True but that makes "Mommy" a term similar to "Bobby", a title of which you have multiple and it loses the importance of what that word is loaded with. It is weird for those who are used that we have one and only Mommy and Totty.

I agree that if you’re not used to it it’s weird, just like if you’re not used to calling her Shvigger you’d think that’s weird too. I don’t think it subtracts from the meaning of the word if the whole purpose is to make your wife/Shvigger feel good, you’re davka trying to treat her as if she has a matriarchal role in your life.

[Dan]

Does any non-Jew in the world call their mother in law “hey mother-in-law”?

One of the great Yiddish words that has no equal in English.

[yelped]

Does any non-Jew in the world call their mother in law “hey mother-in-law”? It’s a chiddush that you do it, not the other way around! They either use their first name or call them “Mom”.

To answer why I think it’s weird, precisely that. You’re using a term engineered specifically for that person, which is often used in a derogatory fashion, so it comes across as disrespectful (to me).

Sounds like this belongs in "Are we going too Far" thread.

All this gender fluidity started from calling a Shvigger, Mommy. 

[S209]

And yet, the question is not on those who don’t use it in this context, but on those who do. (I still use the word to others, just not as a title directed at her. Same with Shver.)

[S209]

Sounds like this belongs in "Are we going too Far" thread.

All this gender fluidity started from calling a Shvigger, Mommy. 

If it’s about preserving tradition you should switch teams 

[yelped]

If it’s about preserving tradition you should switch teams 

It's about calling a spade, a spade.

[yfr bachur]

I dont really use any name or word when talking TO her. When talking about her I say Mommy which is what my wife calls her....

Sometimes when talking about my parent I'll call my mother,  my shviger in law.

Oh, and anytime s/o says inlaws , Iask "inlaws or outlaws?"

[Lurker]

It's about calling a spade, a spade.

And now you understand his issue. He'd rather not call his MIL a spade

[ExGingi]

To answer why I think it’s weird, precisely that. You’re using a term engineered specifically for that person, which is often used in a derogatory fashion, so it comes across as disrespectful (to me).

To quote the great Shimon Dzigan: מײַן מאַמע איז דאָך עפעס מײַן מאַמע, אָבער דײַן מאַמע איז אַ געבוירענע שוויגער

[yelped]

And now you understand his issue. He'd rather not call his MIL a spade

I had a comeback that I'm not going to use....

[S209]

It's about calling a spade, a spade.

And I would say it’s about giving as much respect as possible. It boils down to what you saw growing up.

[flyingace]

My spouse was the oldest in-law child. My parents were NOT happy to be called shver and shvigger, but no way was it going to be Mommy and Tatty. PS-no one else called them that; but out of all the in-laws, my spouse probably has the best relationship with them!