18 New Commandments

[jj1000]

Based on this, it seems we may have some new commandments on our hands in 2024. What do you think they would be?

Here are some of my ideas:

1. Thou shall order Chinese Food for dinner on December 24th.

2. Thou shall eat at least a kizayis of Manischewitz Macaroons during the Passover holiday.

3. Thou shall not use social media, besides Frum Twitter now known as FrumX.

4. Thou shall only go on luxury vacations when paying with points.

5. Bar Mitzva budget capped at $5k and weddings at $15k.

6. Thou shall make a pilgrimage to Orlando for Yom Tov once in a lifetime, pay for Disney, and wonder how people do it every year.

7. Thou shall serve old cake and orange juice in shul after every fast.

8. Thou shall go to at least one concert on Chanukah, in the case of a large family you can be yoitzei with a carnival.

9. Thou shall play board games on shabbos & yom tov.

10. Thou shall have both a Prime & Costco membership.

11. Thou shall have at  least two flavors of cheesecake on Shavuos. Those who are makpid will also have multiple types of fancy cheese pastas, with the most machmir also having a cheese charcuterie board.

12. Thou shall be fruitful and multiply*

*And once thou has more than 2 children thou shall purchase a minivan.

13. Thou shall get so drunk on Purim to not know the difference between a family that coordinates their costumes and shalach manos to a family that just regifts shalach manos they got that day.

14. Thou shall travel the world while eating at Chabad Houses for shabbos meals. It is a good minhag to offer the shliach to bring kosher food with you for the Shliach's family.

15. Thou shall donate to at least one Charidy matching campaign per week. But if the campaign is shared more than once a week, you are exempt from donating.

16. What is posted in the family/friends WhatsApp group STAYS in the family/friends WhatsApp group.

17. Thou shall eat Honey Cake on Rosh Hashana, Donughts & Latkas on Chanukah, Hamentash on Purim, Matza brei on Pesach, Cheesecake on Shavuos.

18. Thou shall save money by following DansDeals.

Add yours below!

[CountValentine]

Thou shall make pretzels on DDF 24/5/half/half.

[notyettaken]

Thou shall make pretzels on DDF 24/5/half/half.

and on Passover those pretzels shall be made in less then 18 minutes.

[TzviR]

10. Thou shall have both a Prime & Costco membership.

Its getting to be a little out of control.

Prime, W+, Kroger, Costco, BJ's. Each one has something the other doesn't but its just so many memberships.

[Essen est zich]

Its getting to be a little out of control.

Prime, W+, Kroger, Costco, BJ's. Each one has something the other doesn't but its just so many subscriptions.

FIFY

[CountValentine]

Its getting to be a little out of control.

Prime, W+, Kroger, Costco, BJ's. Each one has something the other doesn't but its just so many memberships.

Costco is a big money maker so start there.

[whacked1]

Am I the only one not getting the joke?

[CountValentine]

Am I the only one not getting the joke?

Aside from calling them Destinations 631 instead of Destinations 613 (gosh I wonder what those 18 new commandments are going to look like, you can post the ones you expect to see on DDF. 😉 ),

[Yo ssi]

Costco is a big money maker so start there.

Generally disagree

[Yehudaa]

Based on this

FTFY, for clarity.

[HudZ]

Thou shall say כאלה along with the Ba'al Korei, during Maftir on Pesach.

[CountValentine]

Generally disagree

My bank account says so. 

[etech0]

Thou shall not be home the Sabbath after the 9th of Av. Exceptions may be made for those hosting others, on a case-by-case basis.

[Shush]

Thou shall scream כאלה louder than the Ba'al Korei, during Maftir on Pesach.

FTFY

[Yo ssi]

My bank account says so. 

TR?

[CountValentine]

TR?

[EliJelly]

At first I was thinking wow, $50K spent in Costco. Then I realized that it's the money we observant Jews spend in the butcher, fish store and grocery too.

[Yehudaa]

At first I was thinking wow, $50K spent in Costco. Then I realized that it's the money we observant Jews spend in the butcher, fish store and grocery too.

IDK what CV is doing at Costco, but something tells me it aint $50k of grocery, meat and fish in 46 days.

[EliJelly]

IDK what CV is doing at Costco, but something tells me it aint $50k of grocery, meat and fish in 46 days.

Wow, didn't pay attention to the dates, thought it was for the year. Gotta ask him to give seminars on MS then.

[HudZ]

IDK what CV is doing at Costco, but something tells me it aint $50k of grocery, meat and fish in 46 days.

Gold Bars??