Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis

[Cbs]

http://www.collive.com/show_news.rtx?id=18596&alias=rabbis-urge-to-marry-young

what's your say on this?
 

[PlatinumGuy]

I don't have time to read the article but I've heard this is part of Lakewood's attempt to grow into univeristy size. So they want guys staying in E"Y shorter. Just what I've heard.
Personally I don't think unmarried girls is a reason for men to stop learning - just like they shouldn't be doing othere chesed activities. Besides, the frum marriage age is probably to low in the rest of the world people marry way later.

[Cbs]

Personally I don't think unmarried girls is a reason for men to stop learning - just like they shouldn't be doing othere chesed activities.

true. but in the article its saying how its not only the unmarried girls issue, but (and i quote) "Unfortunately, a situation has been created in recent years that Talmidei hatmimim, who are in the later phase of Yeshiva, don't return to an appropriate structure in a Yeshiva." -

[HelpMe]

"For a boy and a girl, the sooner they can get married - the better,"

What age are they referring to?

[Dan]

"For a boy and a girl, the sooner they can get married - the better,"

What age are they referring to?

I'm assuming they want boys to start getting married (or at least start going out) at 21-22 instead of 23-24.
And for girls 18-19 instead of maybe 20-21.

[Dan]

I don't have time to read the article but I've heard this is part of Lakewood's attempt to grow into univeristy size. So they want guys staying in E"Y shorter. Just what I've heard.
Personally I don't think unmarried girls is a reason for men to stop learning - just like they shouldn't be doing othere chesed activities. Besides, the frum marriage age is probably to low in the rest of the world people marry way later.

Don't think that reasoning really applies to the Chabad edict.

[HelpMe]

I'm assuming they want boys to start getting married (or at least start going out) at 21-22 instead of 23-24.
And for girls 18-19 instead of maybe 20-21.

That is young!

[asd]

this is the one topic i completly agree with chassidim (by the way R chaim kanievsky is makpid that all his grandchildren marry young)

[Jay the PRESIDENT]

 

[Cbs]

That is young!

compared to the non jewish world, yes you're right. but in the jewish world its not considered "young!". 18 is quite young and 19 still a bit but happens more often.

[HelpMe]

compared to the non jewish world, yes you're right. but in the jewish world its not considered "young!". 18 is quite young and 19 still a bit but happens more often.

As a parent of three daughters 19 is young, period. They have a hard enough time deciding what shoes to wear let alone make a decision about marriage.

[Sammy82]

And ur wife doesnt have a hard time deciding which shoes to where?

[HelpMe]

And ur wife doesnt have a hard time deciding which shoes to where?

No.

[Dan]

No.

Wow, if only I had waited a few more years my wife wouldn't ask me what shoes to wear where!  Who knew?

[mclovin]

Wow, if only I had waited a few more years my wife wouldn't ask me what shoes to wear where!  Who knew?

hope your wife doesnt read the forums

[HelpMe]

Wow, if only I had waited a few more years my wife wouldn't ask me what shoes to wear where!  Who knew?

It might have more to do with culture than age.

[Dan]

hope your wife doesnt read the forums

She's used to my #sarcasm

[jj1000]

As a parent of three daughters 19 is young, period. They have a hard enough time deciding what shoes to wear let alone make a decision about marriage.

It is a young age. But a lot depends on the culture background of the girls. If a girl is raised knowing she doesn't have to make any serious decisions until she's mid to late twenties and done with college, then obviously she will not be mature or prepared to choose a suiting husband at the age of 19. But in a culture that the girl is raised knowing that it is expected of her to make these choices at a young age, In addition  she goes to school to learn about marriage, and she is in general being prepared for marriage from an even younger age. It may be a bit more understandable how a 19 year old girl could make such a decision. This is all with out even getting into the purpose of marriage and life goals an orthodox Jewish girl has versus and secular girl.

[HelpMe]

It is a young age. But a lot depends on the culture background of the girls. If a girl is raised knowing she doesn't have to make any serious decisions until she's mid to late twenties and done with college, then obviously she will not be mature or prepared to choose a suiting husband at the age of 19. But in a culture that the girl is raised knowing that it is expected of her to make these choices at a young age, In addition  she goes to school to learn about marriage, and she is in general being prepared for marriage from an even younger age. It may be a bit more understandable how a 19 year old girl could make such a decision. This is all with out even getting into the purpose of marriage and life goals an orthodox Jewish girl has versus and secular girl.

So if she decides to go to college first and then get married at say 30, that is OK?

[Dan]

In many (though definitely not all) sects of orthodox Judaism going to a traditional college before marriage is frowned upon.

Let's face it, for many students a majority of undergrad college life is about who you hooked up, where you partied, or what you smoked last night.  It's fairly incompatible with life in a sect like mine (and most other sects of orthodox judaism)  where 99.9% of first-time marriages are between 2 virgins.