Author Topic: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis  (Read 89476 times)

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2012, 07:36:52 PM »
I don't have time to read the article but I've heard this is part of Lakewood's attempt to grow into univeristy size. So they want guys staying in E"Y shorter. Just what I've heard.
Personally I don't think unmarried girls is a reason for men to stop learning - just like they shouldn't be doing othere chesed activities. Besides, the frum marriage age is probably to low in the rest of the world people marry way later.
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2012, 07:40:06 PM »
Personally I don't think unmarried girls is a reason for men to stop learning - just like they shouldn't be doing othere chesed activities.
true. but in the article its saying how its not only the unmarried girls issue, but (and i quote) "Unfortunately, a situation has been created in recent years that Talmidei hatmimim, who are in the later phase of Yeshiva, don't return to an appropriate structure in a Yeshiva." -

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2012, 08:49:14 PM »
"For a boy and a girl, the sooner they can get married - the better,"

What age are they referring to?
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2012, 08:51:23 PM »
"For a boy and a girl, the sooner they can get married - the better,"

What age are they referring to?

I'm assuming they want boys to start getting married (or at least start going out) at 21-22 instead of 23-24.
And for girls 18-19 instead of maybe 20-21.
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2012, 08:53:21 PM »
I don't have time to read the article but I've heard this is part of Lakewood's attempt to grow into univeristy size. So they want guys staying in E"Y shorter. Just what I've heard.
Personally I don't think unmarried girls is a reason for men to stop learning - just like they shouldn't be doing othere chesed activities. Besides, the frum marriage age is probably to low in the rest of the world people marry way later.
Don't think that reasoning really applies to the Chabad edict.
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2012, 08:54:19 PM »
I'm assuming they want boys to start getting married (or at least start going out) at 21-22 instead of 23-24.
And for girls 18-19 instead of maybe 20-21.
That is young!
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2012, 09:00:25 PM »
this is the one topic i completly agree with chassidim (by the way R chaim kanievsky is makpid that all his grandchildren marry young)

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2012, 09:27:48 PM »
 ::)

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2012, 10:23:01 PM »
That is young!
compared to the non jewish world, yes you're right. but in the jewish world its not considered "young!". 18 is quite young and 19 still a bit but happens more often.

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2012, 10:38:28 PM »
compared to the non jewish world, yes you're right. but in the jewish world its not considered "young!". 18 is quite young and 19 still a bit but happens more often.
As a parent of three daughters 19 is young, period. They have a hard enough time deciding what shoes to wear let alone make a decision about marriage.
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2012, 10:42:46 PM »
And ur wife doesnt have a hard time deciding which shoes to where?

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2012, 10:46:05 PM »
And ur wife doesnt have a hard time deciding which shoes to where?
No.
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2012, 10:47:05 PM »
No.
Wow, if only I had waited a few more years my wife wouldn't ask me what shoes to wear where!  Who knew?
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2012, 10:51:11 PM »
Wow, if only I had waited a few more years my wife wouldn't ask me what shoes to wear where!  Who knew?
hope your wife doesnt read the forums

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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2012, 10:52:39 PM »
Wow, if only I had waited a few more years my wife wouldn't ask me what shoes to wear where!  Who knew?
It might have more to do with culture than age.
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2012, 10:53:48 PM »
hope your wife doesnt read the forums
She's used to my #sarcasm
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2012, 11:28:41 PM »
As a parent of three daughters 19 is young, period. They have a hard enough time deciding what shoes to wear let alone make a decision about marriage.
It is a young age. But a lot depends on the culture background of the girls. If a girl is raised knowing she doesn't have to make any serious decisions until she's mid to late twenties and done with college, then obviously she will not be mature or prepared to choose a suiting husband at the age of 19. But in a culture that the girl is raised knowing that it is expected of her to make these choices at a young age, In addition  she goes to school to learn about marriage, and she is in general being prepared for marriage from an even younger age. It may be a bit more understandable how a 19 year old girl could make such a decision. This is all with out even getting into the purpose of marriage and life goals an orthodox Jewish girl has versus and secular girl.
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2012, 11:37:58 PM »
It is a young age. But a lot depends on the culture background of the girls. If a girl is raised knowing she doesn't have to make any serious decisions until she's mid to late twenties and done with college, then obviously she will not be mature or prepared to choose a suiting husband at the age of 19. But in a culture that the girl is raised knowing that it is expected of her to make these choices at a young age, In addition  she goes to school to learn about marriage, and she is in general being prepared for marriage from an even younger age. It may be a bit more understandable how a 19 year old girl could make such a decision. This is all with out even getting into the purpose of marriage and life goals an orthodox Jewish girl has versus and secular girl.
So if she decides to go to college first and then get married at say 30, that is OK?
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Re: Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2012, 11:42:25 PM »
In many (though definitely not all) sects of orthodox Judaism going to a traditional college before marriage is frowned upon.

Let's face it, for many students a majority of undergrad college life is about who you hooked up, where you partied, or what you smoked last night.  It's fairly incompatible with life in a sect like mine (and most other sects of orthodox judaism)  where 99.9% of first-time marriages are between 2 virgins.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2012, 11:45:35 PM by Dan »
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