Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis

[Baruch]

How does that explain the girl saying yes to any average boy that comes her way while actually going out a handful of times in 2 years vs the boy going out over 10 times as often ?

It is mathematically impossible, because boys go out with.................................girls

(and the small percentage of more girls that is claimed due to the age gap, can't explain 10x more)

[imayid2]

It is mathematically impossible, because boys go out with.................................girls

Sure it is, if there are more girls than boys.

If one guy goes out 5 times with 5 girls, he got 5 dates they each got one.

[mgarfin]

A bit hard to follow here as every comment needs to be assessed with the commenters background and community.

In the so-called Chadidish world from my anecdotal perspective, the underlying issue is there are more good (for the lack of a better word) then boys.
This was explained by others above that it is easier for girls to stay within the system then for boys.
This doesn't mean dropouts or OTD just there are many many girls looking for full learning boys than there is actually full learning boys.

[jye]

A bit hard to follow here as every comment needs to be assessed with the commenters background and community.

In the so-called Chadidish world from my anecdotal perspective, the underlying issue is there are more good (for the lack of a better word) then boys.
This was explained by others above that it is easier for girls to stay within the system then for boys.
This doesn't mean dropouts or OTD just there are many many girls looking for full learning boys than there is actually full learning boys.

https://mishpacha.com/mix-match/

[avromie7]

Sure it is, if there are more girls than boys.

If one guy goes out 5 times with 5 girls, he got 5 dates they each got one.

What happened to the other 3.75-4 boys that there are statistically for those 5 girls?

[shapsam]

What happened to the other 3.75-4 boys that there are statistically for those 5 girls?

Perhaps there are less boys than girls, and boys get first dibs.

I don't know why the age gap theory is so crazy to entertain for a rapidly growing population. It's not necessarily true but it can also be very simple math.

[avromie7]

Perhaps there are less boys than girls, and boys get first dibs.

I don't know why the age gap theory is so crazy to entertain for a rapidly growing population. It's not necessarily true but it can also be very simple math.

5 to 1? Are there really 5x more girls than boys? It doesn't take an actuary to figure out that this shows us nothing.

[shapsam]

5 to 1? Are there really 5x more girls than boys? It doesn't take an actuary to figure out that this shows us nothing.

No, less doesn't mean 1 for 5.

The below is not statistically proven, but why is it so far off?

100 boys born in year 1999, let's assume only 3% population growth per year and even split between boys and girls. 100 boys are currently dating from a pool of >112 girls born in 2003.

[avromie7]

No, less doesn't mean 1 for 5.

The below is not statistically proven, but why can't this be true?

100 boys born in year 1999, let's assume only 3% population growth per year and even split between boys and girls. 100 boys are currently dating from a pool of >112 girls born in 2003.

that doesn't explain why @jye son got 10x as many yes. It explains 10% more not 1000% more.

[shapsam]

that doesn't explain why @jye son got 10x as many yes. It explains 10% more not 1000% more.

There will be more extreme experiences anecdotally, with an underlying problem. Especially when you take into account that boys get first dibs and are running after the top 50%, so will take a while for many girls to get dates, and some will not have any boys left for them (from this pool).

[MiInvstr]

There will be more extreme experiences anecdotally, with an underlying problem. Especially when you take into account that boys get first dibs and are running after the top 50%, so will take a while for many girls to get dates, and some will not have any boys left for them (from this pool).

So then the top 50% of girls will have much more dates than any boys will ever have if that was true.

Which I’m not arguing about. I personally think the same way some boys get all “yesses” and date a lot there are many girls too that get “yesses” and date a lot.

[shapsam]

So then the top 50% of girls will have much more dates than any boys will ever have if that was true.

50% is not a hard number. Those girls will also get married faster since they have dates. Point is many girls will not get dates so easily.

Let's stick with the 50% for now, so they get married and now we have 44 boys left for 56 girls. Ratio for this pool just went from 12% more girls to 27% more girls.

[aygart]

It's not necessarily true but it can also be very simple math.

Why in the world would we be throwing all of these resources to try and turn the yeshivishe world upside down over something that is not necessarily true? Maybe we should figure it out first and then work on it?

[David61]

that doesn't explain why @jye son got 10x as many yes. It explains 10% more not 1000% more.

I think what happens is that the presence and knowledge of the supply/demand leads to the boys-side to aim high (which magnifies the effect of the modest imbalance).
--the top 25% of girls (based on personality, appearance, wealth, yichus, best connections, whatever) get 60% of the dates
--the next 25% of girls get 25% of the dates
--the next 50% of girls get the remaining 15% of dates

Numbers (%) used are examples for the purpose of illustration.

[aygart]

Dates do not equal married. I know a boy who went out with hundreds of girls but he is much less married than my daughter who went out with 3 boys and married the third.

[MiInvstr]

Dates do not equal married. I know a boy who went out with hundreds of girls but he is much less married than my daughter who went out with 3 boys and married the third.

100% true. But try explaining that to a girl who’s 22 or 23 and did not date even one guy.

[shapsam]

Dates do not equal married. I know a boy who went out with hundreds of girls but he is much less married than my daughter who went out with 3 boys and married the third.

This is true but also an anecdote

In general more dates equals more chances of getting married.

[imayid2]

This is true but also an anecdote

In general more dates equals more chances of getting married.

I only had one date so glad I beat the odds and married her

[shapsam]

I only had one date so glad I beat the odds and married her

1 is more than 0

[aygart]

I only had one date so glad I beat the odds and married her

+1