Marry Young / Shidduch Crisis

[justaregularguy]

Yeah, let’s number every boy and girl out there as soon as they are born and just count ‘em. Wonder why no one thought of that.

birth data is public data (I actually have no clue if that’s true or not) an analyst can go thru the data (or get hired by doge and get access anyway) and let us know how many boys and girls there are

[Euclid]

They clearly dont have an answer how to help current older girls. And publicly telling older girls that there's little chance they'll ever get married since there are barely any eligible boys available - would likely have pretty severe consequences, personally and socially.
On the flip side, with the acknowledgment that there are very few boys left - any boy that is available is immediately looked at with suspicion: "what's wrong with him".

There's someone who has a few close single girl relatives and they seem to not want to believe that there's a shortage of eligible boys; clinging to the hope that there's someone out there.

@aygart you can have your rav reach out to them

[aygart]

@aygart you can have your rav reach out to them

I do plan on discussing with them. Now that from the way they present it the numbers they are discussing are actuarial numbers resulting from an age gap and do not seem to be discussing numbers about whether or not there are more unmarried than expected. The other article posted a few weeks ago does seem to address that.

[Euclid]

I do plan on discussing with them. Now that from the way they present it the numbers they are discussing are actuarial numbers resulting from an age gap and do not seem to be discussing numbers about whether or not there are more unmarried than expected. The other article posted a few weeks ago does seem to address that.

I don't believe the numbers in the age gap are the real problem. Why should I act based on them?
The numbers, if published, would be very revealing and demonstrate the urgency of this issue. However, we have chosen not to publicize them to avoid creating unnecessary panic.
If one has a reason to doubt the veracity of the numbers discrepancy, please have your rav reach out to us for specific information.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding your post - but it's pretty clear from this that they're talking about the actual age gap numbers, not projected, no?

[aygart]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding your post - but it's pretty clear from this that they're talking about the actual age gap numbers, not projected, no?

Yes they are about age gap not marriage

[Euclid]

Yes they are about age gap not marriage

To me they're using these terms synonymously- why would an age gap cause panic if not for the fact that there's a marriage gap too?

[avromie7]

To me they're using these terms synonymously- why would an age gap cause panic if not for the fact that there's a marriage gap too?

Maybe they want to cause panic by claiming they don't want to cause panic.

[Euclid]

Maybe they want to cause panic by claiming they don't want to cause panic.

Galaxy brain

[aygart]

To me they're using these terms synonymously- why would an age gap cause panic if not for the fact that there's a marriage gap too?

They are assuming that the gap means that there is a marriage crisis without establishing that connection

[yfr bachur]

A thought on the resume/research process - in my community (Syrian) - the idea of a resume basically doesn't exist (to my knowledge), and research is not a massive pain in the neck, so the focus is essentially on finding 2 people that are likely to match well. The reason is pretty obvious - most people live in the same area for years, and if you don't know the family directly, someone close to you knows them very well.

My question is - is there anything to do in the Ashkenaz world to replicate this to an extent, or any other strategy to minimize the research needed to get a date moving along? I'm not going to suggest dating without proper research and waiting to research after a couple dates.

However, what would happen if we heavily prioritized dating from within the local community? In the current situation, you have a pile of resumes that includes people halfway across the US or even the world, and the research and commitment needed is immense, and makes the process unnecessarily straining. Not that I am suggesting to completely dismiss non-local dates, but perhaps limit these dates to instances where each side knows and trusts the person making the shidduch.

Should it be that difficult for a Lakewood family to research another family in Lakewood, and likewise in other locales?

I feel like I'm probably missing something, or maybe it's just a dumb idea, but open to hearing any ideas that makes it easier to get dates started.

This works best in more homogonous communities. The litvishe community is just too fragmented (scores and scores of schools, shuls, yeshivos) for this to work at scale.

[Randomex]

"We're not giving you certain information because it would cause a panic."

That's already telling people they should actually be panicking. You need to
not let the people know that information that would cause a panic exists.

[justaregularguy]

"We're not giving you certain information because it would cause a panic."

That's already telling people they should actually be panicking. You need to
not let the people know that information that would cause a panic exists.

Maybe they want to cause panic by claiming they don't want to cause panic.

Agreed

[aygart]

why would an age gap cause panic if not for the fact that there's a marriage gap too?

Because of a created perception that an age gap causes a marriage crisis. (it may be true and without that created perception people would just be blissfully ignorant)

[Duvid HaLevy]

The point that everyone is missing is the following.
In every society in the history of humanity men marry women younger than them, the essential cause of the shidduch crisis is that infant mortality is too low.

[Just A Jew]

the essential cause of the shidduch crisis is that infant mortality is too low.

2 posts ever on a 2 year old account, and one of them is this gem. You, Reb Yid, are a legend.

[etech0]

The point that everyone is missing is the following.
In every society in the history of humanity men marry women younger than them, the essential cause of the shidduch crisis is that infant mortality is too low.

https://matzav.com/report-trump-mulls-5k-baby-bonus-for-moms-in-bid-to-reverse-declining-birth-rates/

[Euclid]

https://matzav.com/report-trump-mulls-5k-baby-bonus-for-moms-in-bid-to-reverse-declining-birth-rates/

that's like putting a bandaid on a severed artery

[Just A Jew]

https://matzav.com/report-trump-mulls-5k-baby-bonus-for-moms-in-bid-to-reverse-declining-birth-rates/

@CountValentine time to trade in for a few 20s

[Randomex]

The point that everyone is missing is the following.
In every society in the history of humanity men marry women younger than them, the essential cause of the shidduch crisis is that infant mortality is too low.

Can someone tell me what he means? (Does he mean maternal mortality?
I don't see why infant mortality should push things one way or another.)

[Definitions2]

Can someone tell me what he means? (Does he mean maternal mortality?
I don't see why infant mortality should push things one way or another.)

I suspect it's a joke that's not supposed to make sense.