Author Topic: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos  (Read 23648 times)

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #140 on: June 26, 2017, 03:29:08 PM »
maybe some chasidus books will help?!? 😂

Start with any torah learning. I personally recommend Baba Kama for this specific ailment.

Offline theduke

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #141 on: June 26, 2017, 04:10:33 PM »
How do you know whether they tried to find the answers?
It was more like discussing it with them. Additionally, you can tell by the way the lead their lives. If the issue is questions then why does that lead to the gimmel aveiros. Even atheists have some sort of moral guide.

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #142 on: June 26, 2017, 04:17:52 PM »
Start with any torah learning. I personally recommend Baba Kama for this specific ailment.
Any torah learning can have a positive impact, as it says המאור שבה מחזירן למוטב. Not sure why you think B"K is recommended more than any other part.

All of that notwithstanding, I stand by what I said above, that just pointing the person to a sefer to learn is probably not effective in such cases. This requires personal attention of someone who cares, and is hopefully experienced, so that with סייעתא דשמיא he would be successful.

You rightfully called the situation an ailment, and just like with a חולי הגוף you wouldn't just prescribe something without proper examination, how much more so in such cases, that expert evaluation and guidance is called for.

ETA: See here regarding המאור, though that is not to detract from the simple meaning, but rather to add to it.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2017, 05:24:56 PM by ExGingi »
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Offline precise

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #143 on: June 26, 2017, 07:05:17 PM »
I don't know that sending your friend "solid good books on these topics " will help him.

Your friend needs personal guidance and help. First and foremost he probably needs someone that will listen to him. One probably needs to get down to what has triggered this, before being able to help.

There are people out there who specialize in this. Knowing the age of your friend, some background, and what he does now, might help in pointing at at the right direction for help. Don't reveal any personal information publicly, but if you give general information, maybe you'll get some recommendations.

Getting him to meet with someone -right now I do not think is a possibility.
He is a married 30 year old with children. The only reason why he still acts and dresses Jewish is in order not to lose his family and friends.
I'm sure there are some great books which even if it might not fully convince him he'll at least see there is another side besides all the garbage he is currently reading.

Offline Menachem613

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #144 on: June 26, 2017, 07:08:39 PM »
Getting him to meet with someone -right now I do not think is a possibility.
He is a married 30 year old with children. The only reason why he still acts and dresses Jewish is in order not to lose his family and friends.
I'm sure there are some great books which even if it might not fully convince him he'll at least see there is another side besides all the garbage he is currently reading.

You'll have know what he's reading now to know which books will properly address them.

Offline precise

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #145 on: June 26, 2017, 07:10:04 PM »
+1. are you talking about a teenager,  adult?  chassidic? yeshiva background?  MY etc....
Chasidish adult with family
Unfortunately this isn't so uncommon. Lots of people are missing the basic foundations of Judaism....

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #146 on: June 26, 2017, 07:11:31 PM »
Getting him to meet with someone -right now I do not think is a possibility.
He is a married 30 year old with children. The only reason why he still acts and dresses Jewish is in order not to lose his family and friends.
I'm sure there are some great books which even if it might not fully convince him he'll at least see there is another side besides all the garbage he is currently reading.
Well, you might be the person to speak with him initially. You might just need some guidance from an expert.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline aygart

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #147 on: June 26, 2017, 07:12:01 PM »
Getting him to meet with someone -right now I do not think is a possibility.
He is a married 30 year old with children. The only reason why he still acts and dresses Jewish is in order not to lose his family and friends.
I'm sure there are some great books which even if it might not fully convince him he'll at least see there is another side besides all the garbage he is currently reading.
How about getting someone to meet with him.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline precise

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #148 on: June 26, 2017, 07:12:29 PM »
+100000000
There are some great people who help those in these situations and do a great job of it. It is rarely the intellectual questions that are the root cause.
If you ask me it's the unitellect. No other religion or belief has such strong solid foundations as yiddishkeit. Unfortunately I do not think today's schools teach it enough

Offline Moshe123

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #149 on: June 26, 2017, 07:15:14 PM »
Send him to Keiravtuni...

Offline aygart

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #150 on: June 26, 2017, 07:15:43 PM »
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Moshe123

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #151 on: June 26, 2017, 07:19:30 PM »
How

Obviously, only if he's still willing to listen.

Offline aygart

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #152 on: June 26, 2017, 07:22:16 PM »
Obviously, only if he's still willing to listen.

Getting him to meet with someone -right now I do not think is a possibility.
He is a married 30 year old with children. The only reason why he still acts and dresses Jewish is in order not to lose his family and friends.
I'm sure there are some great books which even if it might not fully convince him he'll at least see there is another side besides all the garbage he is currently reading.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Sport

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #153 on: June 26, 2017, 07:34:44 PM »
Imho, at this point just be there for him as a friend. You're not going to prove anything to him regardless of the strength of your argument. I'm willing to bet that less than 5% of bal teshuvahs (both ffb and not) made their life changes based purely on being proven that yidiahkiet is legitimate.
If you are a true friend to him and are there for him regardless of his level of observance, you'll have plenty of opportunities to be mikariv him over time.

Offline precise

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #154 on: June 26, 2017, 07:34:55 PM »
With all the kiruv chabad does, don't they have any books on the 13 ani mamins or the likes?

Offline precise

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #155 on: June 26, 2017, 07:47:58 PM »
Imho, at this point just be there for him as a friend. You're not going to prove anything to him regardless of the strength of your argument. I'm willing to bet that less than 5% of bal teshuvahs (both ffb and not) made their life changes based purely on being proven that yidiahkiet is legitimate.
If you are a true friend to him and are there for him regardless of his level of observance, you'll have plenty of opportunities to be mikariv him over time.
Should I just sit back and watch him drown? Was walking home with him in Shabbos and got home nauseous from all the garbage he told me. What did my listening help....

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #156 on: June 26, 2017, 07:52:40 PM »
Should I just sit back and watch him drown? Was walking home with him in Shabbos and got home nauseous from all the garbage he told me. What did my listening help....
Do you have time?

Can you offer to learn as a chavrusa with him twice a week? Over the phone?

You can ask a rabbi that knows him what sefer is best to learn.

He might be interested..

Offline yelped

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #157 on: June 26, 2017, 07:53:00 PM »
If you ask me it's the unitellect. No other religion or belief has such strong solid foundations as yiddishkeit. Unfortunately I do not think today's schools teach it enough
This is very true unfortunately..

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #158 on: June 26, 2017, 08:27:25 PM »
With all the kiruv chabad does, don't they have any books on the 13 ani mamins or the likes?
Start here. I'm deliberately linking to a ביאור by someone who you (I personally try to avoid labels, and use it here as I think that is the label most would use) wouldn't consider a Lubavitcher. I don't suggest you send this, but rather learn it well yourself. You will be much better equipped to help your friend.

Chasidish adult with family
Unfortunately this isn't so uncommon. Lots of people are missing the basic foundations of Judaism....

A couple of years ago I remember seeing some publication from Boro-Park that told a story of someone who went OTD, and then later was niskarev. When asked מעיקרא מאי קסבר ולבסוף מאי קסבר, he responded something along the lines of די אידשקייט וואס איך האב געטראפן האב איך קיינמאל ניט אפגעלאזט.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2017, 09:26:54 PM by ExGingi »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Percentage Of Kids Texting On Shabbos
« Reply #159 on: June 26, 2017, 08:42:31 PM »
Should I just sit back and watch him drown? Was walking home with him in Shabbos and got home nauseous from all the garbage he told me. What did my listening help....
You think you or anyone else is going to get him to come back in a day? The last thing he needs right now is for you to sit there and argue with him ad infinitum and make him feel like you no longer care to be with him. Imagine the alienation that he's feeling right now, he's basically living a lie for the sake of his children. The best thing you can do right now is provide a listening ear and a comforting shoulder, respectfully disagree with what he says but arguing until you're both blue in the face gets neither of you anywhere. There isn't some magic thing you can say or one book he can read that will change his mind right now, it's a process. The best thing you can do right now is to make sure he, as a person, isn't completely alienated and made to feel illegitimate or worthless, that's what pushes people past the point of no return.
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