Not what I said.
How have I gone 30 years without owning a letter opener?
I don't think there's a bigger pleasure that can be had for under $2.
right -- coorection:
under $2 ... anyway:
1) considering the amount of mail you open, it will cost less than .0000000001 per envelope this year.
2) considering the amount of money you save, it will bring you approx 50,000% return of the cost.
3) considering the amount of money you earn + mitzvos = Priceless