Author Topic: Best one-liners (Read 202306 times)

Baruch · « **Reply #860 on:** March 30, 2016, 06:24:01 PM »

Quote from: Work-for-ur-muny on March 30, 2016, 05:04:54 PM

An error nevertheless.

That is a best one-liner in and of itself!

cf · « **Reply #861 on:** April 21, 2016, 09:27:27 PM »

"You don't have to show up to every argument you're invited to."

nafnaf12 · « **Reply #862 on:** April 21, 2016, 09:29:19 PM »

(In life)You're either at the table or on the menu.

benjie1305 · « **Reply #863 on:** April 24, 2016, 02:13:34 AM »

"If you haven't gotten a haircut in the mikvah, you haven't lived"

Emkay · « **Reply #864 on:** April 24, 2016, 06:43:18 AM »

Quote from: benjie1305 on April 24, 2016, 02:13:34 AM

"If you haven't gotten a haircut in the mikvah, you haven't lived"

Queer thing to say. Whatever.

benjie1305 · « **Reply #865 on:** April 24, 2016, 07:09:12 AM »

Quote from: Emkay on April 24, 2016, 06:43:18 AM

Queer thing to say. Whatever.

True.

Reminds me of people that think it is normal to buy chulent in a Mikva.

Or that serve chocolate cake without syrup.

..You get the point.. Queer!

David Smith · « **Reply #866 on:** April 24, 2016, 01:44:37 PM »

Quote from: benjie1305 on April 24, 2016, 07:09:12 AM

True.

Reminds me of people that think it is normal to buy chulent in a Mikva.

Or that serve chocolate cake without syrup.

..You get the point.. Queer!

You only did one day Y'T?

Emkay · « **Reply #867 on:** April 24, 2016, 01:47:12 PM »

Quote from: David Smith on April 24, 2016, 01:44:37 PM

You only did one day Y'T?

No. He's not Jewish.

ExGingi · « **Reply #868 on:** April 25, 2016, 12:14:41 AM »

Quote from: benjie1305 on April 24, 2016, 02:13:34 AM

"If you haven't gotten a haircut in the mikvah, you haven't lived"

Last I've seen that done was the good old Skverer mikvah on Kingston Avenue in Crown Heights. Can't imagine that happening in the current incarnation as Mikvah Mayer 😄

aygart · « **Reply #869 on:** May 05, 2016, 10:56:13 AM »

James Taranto ‏@jamestaranto 11h11 hours ago

James Taranto Retweeted Kelly Jane Torrance

What's really sad is they spend their lives composing, then die and start decomposing.

James Taranto added,
Kelly Jane Torrance @KJTorrance
Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, I (try to) remember the lives of (so many of) the composers.
1 retweet 4 likes

etech0 · « **Reply #870 on:** May 12, 2016, 12:43:18 PM »

"I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you."

good sam · « **Reply #871 on:** May 12, 2016, 05:11:03 PM »

Quote from: etech0 on May 12, 2016, 12:43:18 PM

"I can explain it ~~for~~to you, but I can't understand it for you."

FTFY. Sounds like a lot of people I work with.

yakov116 · « **Reply #872 on:** May 13, 2016, 08:36:58 AM »

Quote from: good sam on May 12, 2016, 05:11:03 PM

FTFY. Sounds like a lot of people I work with.

Explain?

CS1 · « **Reply #873 on:** May 13, 2016, 10:45:21 AM »

Quote from a single girl at Google in CA in regard to large numbers of smart & single men:

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd".

Achas Veachas · « **Reply #874 on:** May 13, 2016, 04:15:53 PM »

Quote from: CS1 on May 13, 2016, 10:45:21 AM

Quote from a single girl at Google in CA in regard to large numbers of smart & single men:

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd".

Posted by a Google employee:

Why does Google provide free meals for its employees?
Can you imagine what would happen if not? All those nerds with lunch money would attract every bully within a radius of 50 miles....

nafnaf12 · « **Reply #875 on:** May 13, 2016, 04:16:34 PM »

A dog at a cat fight can suddenly find he's become dinner at a lions den

Super Speed · « **Reply #876 on:** May 13, 2016, 05:38:40 PM »

Dentist asks me when was the last time you flossed to which I respond don't you remember, you were there...

Super Speed · « **Reply #877 on:** May 13, 2016, 05:39:15 PM »

I didn't know my friend had acid reflux until it came up in conversation.

Zevi16 · « **Reply #878 on:** May 14, 2016, 06:29:56 PM »

Quote from: Super Speed on May 13, 2016, 05:39:15 PM

I didn't know my friend had acid reflux until it came up in conversation.

username · « **Reply #879 on:** May 14, 2016, 11:57:25 PM »

Quote from: Super Speed on May 13, 2016, 05:38:40 PM

Dentist asks me when was the last time you flossed to which I respond don't you remember, you were there...

Only floss the teeth you want to keep.