Best one-liners

[aygart]

"'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people' is a quote about people"

an idea about people....

[a mirrer]

I don't like being told to shut up in harsh words about my own experience on my own forum.

[yuneeq]

I hear that they are adding vitamins to beer.
B-1. B-17, B-24.
.
.
Now you can get really bombed!

[yuneeq]

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”

[yuneeq]

Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was fantastic.

[12HRS]

don't make me press 1 for english in my own country

[maxie m]

don't make me press 2 for english in my own country

ftfy

[Live N Learn]

ftfy

Funny, but sadly true.

[Achas Veachas]

If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic...

[etech0]

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy...

[Red]

"I told my wife I'm flying to Uman for Rosh Hashsanah. She told me to daven for a good shidduch!"

[SamKey]

...

[unavailable]

The label on the puzzle box states 5-8 years, but I did it in 2 years, said the 17-year old.

[whYME]

When you come late to shul the first thing that gets sacrificed is karbonos.

[YSP]

When you come late to shul the first thing that gets Schechted is karbonos.

FTFY

Works both ways

[CS1]

FTFY
Works both ways

When you come late to shul the first thing that gets shechted is karbonos.

works if you come on time, too

[ushdadude]

FTFY

Works both ways

actually sounds better in english.

[etech0]

sometimes people would rather be bothered by the question than be bothered by the answer

[Something Fishy]

"The wise man does not play leapfrog with the unicorn."

This is the motto of a random French site I found called The Core of the Unicorn, which is apparently the name of a classic-car race (I'm researching classic cars for my Cuba TR).

[yakrot]

You don't have to be too wise to know this