Author Topic: Best one-liners (Read 202431 times)

ushdadude · « **Reply #800 on:** October 14, 2015, 10:31:31 AM »

Quote from: Something Fishy on October 14, 2015, 12:34:15 AM

"The wise man does not play leapfrog with the unicorn."

This is the motto of a random French site I found called The Core of the Unicorn, which is apparently the name of a classic-car race (I'm researching classic cars for my Cuba TR).

It's also from a Midas commercial

username · « **Reply #801 on:** November 03, 2015, 02:52:24 PM »

Quote from: ChaimMoskowitz on November 03, 2015, 02:41:55 PM

I thought I asked you a simple basic question.

Dan · « **Reply #802 on:** November 17, 2015, 04:59:59 PM »

Good news: It's a bye week for the Browns
Bad news: The bye week is favored by six

MosheD · « **Reply #803 on:** November 17, 2015, 05:12:15 PM »

Quote from: Dan on November 17, 2015, 04:59:59 PM

Good news: It's a bye week for the Browns
Bad news: The bye week is favored by six

lol
truly pathetic
you might like this
skip to 8:05

shoobi · « **Reply #804 on:** November 17, 2015, 10:41:45 PM »

Quote from: Dan on November 17, 2015, 04:59:59 PM

Good news: It's a bye week for the Browns
Bad news: The bye week is favored by six

Here's another one:
There are three teams that are unbeaten in NFL and they're all named after three Big catz from the jungle, the Bengals from Cincinnati the Panthers from Carolina and the Cheetas from new England

a mirrer · « **Reply #805 on:** November 18, 2015, 03:17:05 AM »

Putin: 'To Forgive The Terrorists Is Up To God, But To Send Them To Him Is Up To Me'

grodnoking · « **Reply #806 on:** November 18, 2015, 08:57:20 AM »

Quote from: a mirrer on November 18, 2015, 03:17:05 AM

Putin: 'To Forgive The Terrorists Is Up To God, But To Send Them To Him Is Up To Me'

Stolen from the marines

"It's God's job to judge the terrorists,
It's our job to arrange the meeting"

Dr Moose · « **Reply #807 on:** November 18, 2015, 08:59:55 AM »

Quote from: grodnoking on November 18, 2015, 08:57:20 AM

Stolen from the marines

"It's God's job to judge the terrorists,
It's our job to arrange the meeting"

,

elya · « **Reply #808 on:** December 05, 2015, 06:28:43 PM »

My grandfather used to say when checking out,
"All my holdings are tied up in cash"
Went right over their heads...

justaregularguy · « **Reply #809 on:** December 05, 2015, 10:11:35 PM »

the point of prayer is not to get you out of trouble, the point of trouble is to get you into prayer.
-R' Hutner

etech0 · « **Reply #810 on:** December 16, 2015, 01:23:24 PM »

snapit · « **Reply #811 on:** December 17, 2015, 09:20:00 AM »

"You know you don't get a medal for wearing pants"
-my boss

yos9694 · « **Reply #812 on:** December 17, 2015, 01:25:50 PM »

Quote from: snapit on December 17, 2015, 09:20:00 AM

"You know you don't get a medal for wearing pants"
-my boss

Didn't Gloria Steinem just get one from Obama for precisely that?

semper fi · « **Reply #813 on:** December 17, 2015, 07:33:30 PM »

“Never take a person’s dignity: it is worth everything to them, and nothing to you.” ~ Frank Barron

TimT · « **Reply #814 on:** December 25, 2015, 03:28:09 PM »

"If they're crazy enough to pay it we're smart enough to charge it"

CS1 · « **Reply #815 on:** December 30, 2015, 03:58:33 PM »

nice line from today:

Quote from: Martyb on December 30, 2015, 01:55:04 PM

Le Meridian is booked the week that i am going. Is the area near the Chabad the best area to plant myself?

SamKey · « **Reply #816 on:** December 30, 2015, 05:07:03 PM »

Anyone ever wonder how hospitals are from the most technologically advanced institutions and all machines make the same sounds as those Pac man machine...

Super Speed · « **Reply #817 on:** December 30, 2015, 08:44:09 PM »

Quote from: SamKey on December 30, 2015, 05:07:03 PM

Anyone ever wonder how hospitals are from the most technologically advanced institutions and all machines make the same sounds as those Pac man machine...

ALOL

Aaaron · « **Reply #818 on:** December 30, 2015, 09:23:31 PM »

Tznius warning:

http://9gag.com/gag/aGRvDDn

grodnoking · « **Reply #819 on:** December 31, 2015, 01:30:50 PM »

A different thread reminded me if this one

The only guarantee in life is death.