Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 200465 times)

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #820 on: January 01, 2016, 01:04:42 AM »
Some people have שיטות and others are full of it

Offline B.D.Da'ehu

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #821 on: January 01, 2016, 01:18:03 AM »
The only guarantee in life is death.
"The only thing you have to do in life is die" :P

Offline David Smith

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #822 on: January 01, 2016, 01:42:00 AM »
"The only thing you have to do in life is die"
Get busy living, or get busy dying. (Meh.)
Who do you think you are fooling? You think you are going to pull a quick one on your Creator? Good luck with that.
JTZ

Offline semper fi

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #823 on: January 01, 2016, 07:31:46 AM »
"We gotta  cover ground before ground covers us"

Offline yuneeq

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #824 on: January 01, 2016, 08:21:05 AM »
Live forever or die trying.
Visibly Jewish

Offline koplonko

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #825 on: January 01, 2016, 04:00:36 PM »
Some people have שיטות and others are full of it
"שיטה מלשון שטות"

Offline blerbz

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #826 on: February 04, 2016, 10:29:22 AM »
I put some Spot Remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #827 on: February 04, 2016, 10:45:22 AM »
I heard the Putin line many years ago in the name of one of the famous American generals during WWII. "Only G-d could punish the Nazis. My job is just to arrange the meeting." Another good line from one of those generals is "I'm not looking for soldiers who will give their life for their country. I'm looking for soldiers who will cause the enemy to give THEIR lives for their country."

Offline stbaum

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #828 on: February 04, 2016, 10:59:10 AM »
only 2 days in your life aren't 24 hours long
My greatest achievement? I am fluent in FRIENDS quotes

Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #829 on: February 04, 2016, 11:00:02 AM »
only 2 days in your life aren't 24 hours long
-1

-unless you never cross a time zone.

Offline stbaum

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #830 on: February 04, 2016, 11:00:43 AM »
My greatest achievement? I am fluent in FRIENDS quotes

Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #831 on: February 04, 2016, 11:02:01 AM »
explain
Just did in my edit

when you cross time zones you add/lose hours.

Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #832 on: February 04, 2016, 11:13:37 AM »
I heard the Putin line many years ago in the name of one of the famous American generals during WWII. "Only G-d could punish the Nazis. My job is just to arrange the meeting." Another good line from one of those generals is "I'm not looking for soldiers who will give their life for their country. I'm looking for soldiers who will cause the enemy to give THEIR lives for their country."
The same general

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_S._Patton
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline mb1

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #833 on: February 04, 2016, 11:39:13 AM »
only 2 days in your life aren't 24 hours long
-1

-unless you never cross a time zone.
-2
And twice a year when you move the clock.

Offline JoeyShmoe

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #834 on: February 04, 2016, 11:54:02 AM »
And twice a year when you move the clock.
I thought that was what the original 2 days are
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Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #835 on: February 04, 2016, 11:56:08 AM »
-2
And twice a year when you move the clock.
Unless you live in an area without DST...

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #836 on: February 04, 2016, 12:09:48 PM »
I thought that was what the original 2 days are
No, its the first and last day of one's life.
^^^

Offline JoeyShmoe

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #837 on: February 04, 2016, 12:11:59 PM »
No, its the first and last day of one's life.
Oh, I read it as only 2 days a year.

But that isn't necessarily true either, if a person is born or dies at 12:00:00am
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Offline skyguy918

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #838 on: February 04, 2016, 12:29:45 PM »
only 2 days in your life aren't 24 hours long
-1

-unless you never cross a time zone.
-2
And twice a year when you move the clock.
No, its the first and last day of one's life.
I would argue that the statement is not accurate for birth/death or for the timezone example (the DST example is actually pretty good still). The only type of day that is 'always' 24 hours long is the civil/calendar day. The solar day is almost never exactly 24 hours anyway (watch this for a tidy explanation). So you have to be talking about what we decided is a civil day, which is by its definition a 24 hour period, from midnight to midnight. an individual being born or dying in the middle of the day doesn't change the length of the day. The same is true for timezones and the dateline - the length of the day is the same in any particular place, you're just moving around. In both these examples, the person is 'experiencing' more or less of the defined day. Whereas with DST, the civil definition of that day is 23 or 25 hours.

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #839 on: February 04, 2016, 12:32:30 PM »
I got it!

Purim and Erev Pesach.