Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 200466 times)

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #900 on: June 23, 2016, 06:27:17 PM »
I hope you asked him for some money. 
He said המקבל not המבקש!
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline hachover

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #901 on: June 23, 2016, 08:13:59 PM »
BIL told me he heard someone in Lakewood collecting for an עני מהודר

Isn't he worried about collecting too much for him and ruining his  מהודר status?
I'm an optimist; but only because life isn't going to give me any other good choices.

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #902 on: June 23, 2016, 09:52:11 PM »
Isn't he worried about collecting too much for him and ruining his  מהודר status?

Collector might be super פרו״ם and makes sure the עני מהודר stays that way...
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline CS1

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #903 on: August 03, 2016, 03:28:18 PM »
in reference to a restaurant: "It was heaven".
We have different impressions of the afterlife I guess. What did you get?
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Offline B.D.Da'ehu

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #904 on: August 04, 2016, 06:40:01 AM »
Do you even understand what I posted, goy?

Mesh responding to CV on the topic of chassidims wives shaving they're heads...
« Last Edit: August 04, 2016, 06:51:32 AM by B.D.Da'ehu »

Offline ben89

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #905 on: August 04, 2016, 09:01:20 AM »
I have a busy life, there are other vacations taking up my time .

Online jj1000

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #906 on: August 04, 2016, 10:55:23 AM »
I hope you asked him for some money. 
When a collector comes over in shul with a hand full of cash and says "Tzadaka?" doesn't everyone respond "No thanks."
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Offline AnonymousUser

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #907 on: August 04, 2016, 12:54:45 PM »
When a collector comes over in shul with a hand full of cash and says "Tzadaka?" doesn't everyone respond "No thanks."
I would love to use a similar line when the gabbai come to ask if I want to daven for the amud. "No, it's ok, you can do it."

Offline JoeyShmoe

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #908 on: August 04, 2016, 05:15:18 PM »
I would love to use a similar line when the gabbai come to ask if I want to daven for the amud. "No, it's ok, you can do it."
As a Gabbai who's having a very hard time finding a Ba'al Tefilla, and Davens pretty much all Tefillos (Shabbos and Weekday) for the Amud, I sincerely thank you for not actually saying it, it's one of the most annoying responses (tied with "Ahem, I can't, my voice isn't the greatest")
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Online etech0

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #909 on: September 25, 2016, 07:56:50 PM »
Always proofread carefully to make sure you didn't anything out.
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Aaaron

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #910 on: September 25, 2016, 08:50:11 PM »
I don't care what people say about you, you're alright.

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #911 on: September 25, 2016, 08:59:00 PM »
I don't care what people say about you, you're alright.
likable enough....
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online Something Fishy

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #912 on: December 06, 2016, 09:38:51 PM »
Just saw a Sriracha ad.

"There are those who love Sriracha and those who haven't tried it yet."
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Offline good sam

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #913 on: December 06, 2016, 09:46:06 PM »
Just saw a Sriracha ad.

"There are those who love Sriracha and those who haven't tried it yet."
There's definitely a third category.
If you don't care why would you comment?
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Offline YitzyS

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #914 on: December 07, 2016, 04:15:57 PM »
You know you're a geek if you understand this one liner: "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't."

Offline lubaby

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #915 on: December 07, 2016, 04:22:49 PM »
You know you're a geek if you understand this one liner: "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't."
+10

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #916 on: December 07, 2016, 05:08:57 PM »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline yuneeq

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #917 on: December 07, 2016, 05:18:04 PM »
Visibly Jewish

Offline skyguy918

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #918 on: December 07, 2016, 05:23:01 PM »
+1 works just fine in binary too.

Offline shulem92

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #919 on: December 07, 2016, 05:24:40 PM »
You know you're a geek if you understand this one liner: "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't."
If you know binary ur a geek?