Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 202211 times)

Offline DovtheBear

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #400 on: September 04, 2013, 12:33:06 PM »
"I hate those websites that don't have United States first on the menu. They make you scroll down to the U's like a regular country." -Mendy Pellin
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #401 on: September 07, 2013, 08:50:51 PM »
A bachur once came over to R' Nissen Kaplan before Rosh Hashanah and told him he wants to go to Uman because R' Nachman promised to pull anyone who goes, out of hell by his peyos. "If he pulls you out I'll through you right back in, for leaving Yeshiva in middle of the Zman!"

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #402 on: September 08, 2013, 09:29:31 AM »
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

It reminds me of why there is no money in there.

(via a friend on FB)
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline semper fi

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #403 on: September 08, 2013, 09:35:35 AM »
A bachur once came over to R' Nissen Kaplan before Rosh Hashanah and told him he wants to go to Uman because R' Nachman promised to pull anyone who goes, out of hell by his peyos. "If he pulls you out I'll through you right back in, for leaving Yeshiva in middle of the Zman!"
How about "If you jump off the boat, you might have a kapparah"?

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #404 on: September 08, 2013, 04:24:38 PM »
Some of the one-liners no one says anymore...


Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #405 on: September 12, 2013, 10:10:02 AM »
I'm old enough to know better but young enough not to care.

Offline Columbiadorm

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #406 on: September 12, 2013, 12:20:37 PM »
Tough times don't last, tough people do. -SZ

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #407 on: September 13, 2013, 07:06:14 AM »
How's this

Offline YSP

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #408 on: September 16, 2013, 02:54:44 PM »
ANDY ROONEY RECENTLY DIED AT AGE 92.
If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis: They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy.......
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned.... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned..... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned..... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
 

Offline MosheD

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #409 on: September 16, 2013, 03:09:54 PM »
Wow fantastic! Think ill use one in an essay I'm in middle of writing :P:))

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #410 on: September 16, 2013, 05:20:07 PM »
one of then is a repost

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #411 on: September 16, 2013, 05:21:49 PM »
My Rabbi is so poor if he wouldn't fast every Monday and Thursday, he'd starve to death!

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #412 on: September 16, 2013, 05:32:18 PM »

Offline meshugener

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #413 on: September 16, 2013, 09:08:00 PM »
Thats nice.
My favorite: everyone wants to live on
top of the mountain, but all the happiness and
growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Love me or hate me. I still love you.

Offline sky121

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #414 on: September 16, 2013, 09:38:49 PM »
Didn't we have a quotes thread around here somewhere?


    Anyways,  I just read this for the first time a few days ago and really liked it.

   "There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn't matter which path you take.  The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone that his or her path is wrong. "
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #415 on: September 16, 2013, 11:08:40 PM »
Thats nice.
My favorite: everyone wants to live on
top of the mountain, but all the happiness and
growth occurs while you're climbing it.
+1

Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #416 on: September 18, 2013, 12:41:21 AM »
Just came across this one:


10 easy steps to stop procrastination

1.

Offline DovtheBear

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #417 on: September 30, 2013, 01:26:44 PM »
The first rule about Kiddush club is there is no Kiddush club. -Mendy Pellin via Jewbellish
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline Dan

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #418 on: September 30, 2013, 01:29:36 PM »
The first rule about Kiddush club is there is no Kiddush club. -Mendy Pellin via Jewbellish
:D
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #419 on: September 30, 2013, 02:31:45 PM »
The difference between a wise man and a fool; a fool says the truth, the wise man never says a lie.