Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 200454 times)

Offline Super Speed

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #520 on: December 18, 2013, 02:20:57 AM »
Noone ever suffered eye strain from looking at the bright side of things.


Offline Feivish

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #521 on: December 19, 2013, 04:23:46 PM »
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #522 on: December 19, 2013, 04:36:11 PM »
Noone ever suffered eye strain from looking at the bright side of things.
I disagree.

Looking at bright things usually hurts/strains my eyes...

Offline good sam

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #523 on: December 19, 2013, 04:52:15 PM »
When you think about how big the Earth is, and how it's just a fraction of the size of the sun, which is just a speck of dust in the universe... It makes ir easy to rationalize eating an entire cake.
Dangerous thinking.  This impacts far more than cake.
If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #524 on: December 19, 2013, 05:38:08 PM »
Dangerous thinking.  This impacts far more than cake.
I believe that's the joke here....

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #525 on: December 24, 2013, 04:21:50 PM »

Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #526 on: December 27, 2013, 02:30:15 AM »
A few great lines from my FB feed today:

"Are any of you who prayed for white Xmas available to come help me shovel?"

"This morning Delta Airlines had a bit of a match with the Jewish Nation. Score: Jews 1 Delta 0..."

"I feel bad for kids with lesbian parents, they get stuck in the never-ending loop of 'go ask your mother.'"

Offline sky121

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #527 on: December 30, 2013, 11:22:30 PM »
 “Tourists don’t know where they’ve been, travelers don’t know where they’re going.” – Paul Theroux
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Dan

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #528 on: January 02, 2014, 08:08:47 PM »
AMAZING!

Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline bubbles

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #529 on: January 02, 2014, 08:12:45 PM »

Offline whYME

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #530 on: January 02, 2014, 08:16:34 PM »
Awesome! So true.

I had already seen this before yet I still ALOLed reading it.


Online ushdadude

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #531 on: January 02, 2014, 08:21:55 PM »
#11- usually about the first time I check DDF for updates :P

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #532 on: January 02, 2014, 11:22:29 PM »
Great!

Offline Super Speed

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #533 on: January 03, 2014, 12:09:25 AM »
Still have tears coming out of my eyes from laughter.


Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #534 on: January 05, 2014, 10:45:27 PM »
Some people stop to think but forget to start again

Offline emak

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #535 on: January 06, 2014, 12:37:02 PM »
Pretty funny. Just wondering why Bubbles felt the need to make me scroll down the screen for another 15 seconds and quote the whole post right on top of his.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #536 on: January 06, 2014, 12:38:28 PM »
Some people stop to think but forget to start again
Did you ever stop to think.... and then forget to start again?

Offline danrocks613

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #537 on: January 06, 2014, 01:37:21 PM »

Pretty funny. Just wondering why Bubbles felt the need to make me scroll down the screen for another 15 seconds and quote the whole post right on top of his.
use tap stalk and your scroll would be ninexistent

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #538 on: January 07, 2014, 09:36:45 AM »
Give me coffee to change the things I can change, and wine to accept the things I can't.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #539 on: January 07, 2014, 10:10:51 AM »
Give me coffee to change the things I can change, and wine to accept the things I can't.

Then the most ideal drink is...

...coffee liquor?
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman