Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 200453 times)

Offline moshe_m

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Nov 2013
  • Posts: 223
  • Total likes: 10
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Location: Brooklyn
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #540 on: January 07, 2014, 12:31:52 PM »
It's so cold outside, my phone doesn't recognize my finger, it thinks it's just a random carrot... #brrrrrrrr

Offline meshugener

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Feb 2012
  • Posts: 6887
  • Total likes: 62
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: DDF
  • Programs: Amex Platinum, Chase Freedom 10X10 Exclusives, Avis Presidents Club, National Executive, Hertz 5 Star, Hilton Gold, Accor Platinum, Hyatt Platinum, Marriott Silver, SPG Gold, Club Carlson Gold
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #541 on: January 07, 2014, 02:59:36 PM »
It's so cold outside, my phone doesn't recognize my finger, it thinks it's just a random carrot... #brrrrrrrr
lol had same thing today
Love me or hate me. I still love you.

Offline ckmk47

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 7961
  • Total likes: 1044
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: brooklyn
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #542 on: January 07, 2014, 03:00:52 PM »
It's so cold outside, my phone doesn't recognize my finger, it thinks it's just a random carrot... #brrrrrrrr
http://www.amazon.com/Texting-Gloves-Screen-Android-Devices/dp/B004FOHNT8/ref=pd_sxp_f_pt
My favorite cause: cssy.org

Offline wayfe

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 821
  • Total likes: 140
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #543 on: January 07, 2014, 10:34:43 PM »
Could you please put your crying kid on vibrate?
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4399
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #544 on: January 09, 2014, 02:59:35 PM »
Everything ends up ok in the end, if it's not ok then you're obviously not at the end!

« Last Edit: January 09, 2014, 03:06:17 PM by Achas Veachas »

Offline Myccrabbi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2013
  • Posts: 2025
  • Total likes: 22
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 9
    • View Profile
  • Location: Monsey ny
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #545 on: January 09, 2014, 03:01:39 PM »
Everything ends up ok in the end, if it's not ok then it's obviously not the end!
nice!
If u work for a living, why kill urself working?

Online ushdadude

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Apr 2013
  • Posts: 6301
  • Total likes: 925
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #546 on: January 09, 2014, 03:49:53 PM »
If you enjoy your profession, you'll never work a day in your life

Offline SamKey

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 3311
  • Total likes: 30
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: If I'm there I can't be here and if I'm here I can't be there
  • Programs: National EE; Hertz PC; Sixt Plt; Avis First; Hilton Gold; Priority Club Plt; West Bestern DE; Carlson Club GE; Accor PLT
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #547 on: January 09, 2014, 09:35:10 PM »
If you enjoy your profession, you'll never work a day in your life
Repost

Online ushdadude

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Apr 2013
  • Posts: 6301
  • Total likes: 925
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #548 on: January 09, 2014, 09:37:22 PM »

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4399
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #549 on: January 28, 2014, 10:46:08 AM »
Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.

Online username

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Posts: 4530
  • Total likes: 602
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: C Heights
  • Programs: ┌──────────────────┐ │───> Ữ₴ΣЯИΛΜӘ <─── │ └──────────────────┘
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #550 on: January 28, 2014, 11:23:48 AM »
I Love cats...they taste just like turkey.
^^^

Offline wayfe

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 821
  • Total likes: 140
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #551 on: January 28, 2014, 05:32:09 PM »
I want to travel the world but I also just want to stay in bed...
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline Moishebatchy

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Posts: 7278
  • Total likes: 150
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 23
    • View Profile
  • Location: Jerusalem
  • Programs: Arzei Makolet Platinum, Yossi's Makolet Silver, Yesh! Gold, Rav Kav Dirt
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #552 on: January 28, 2014, 06:31:18 PM »
use tap stalk and your scroll would be ninexistent

So would your spelling, apparently. >:D

Offline Chaikel

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 6812
  • Total likes: 174
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 20
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: LH SEN, SPG Plat, Hyatt Plat, Rav Kav Platinum
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #553 on: January 30, 2014, 05:48:27 PM »
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us miles.
Oh wait...
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline cf

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Jul 2013
  • Posts: 175
  • Total likes: 2
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #554 on: January 30, 2014, 06:50:42 PM »
Most of our problems are because we act without thinking or we keep thinking without acting.

Offline sky121

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 11513
  • Total likes: 168
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 12
    • View Profile
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #555 on: January 30, 2014, 06:53:16 PM »
Most of our problems are because we act without thinking or we keep thinking without acting.

Like!
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline avadah

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2012
  • Posts: 2516
  • Total likes: 38
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Jerusalem
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #556 on: January 31, 2014, 02:34:43 AM »
Money can't buy happiness but I like to have it around to choose the misery that suits me best.
-Groucho Marx

Offline DovtheBear

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Nov 2012
  • Posts: 2915
  • Total likes: 9
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
  • Location: ליבי במזרח ואנכי בסוף מערב
  • Programs: Regus Gold, Hertz 5 Star, National Executive, Sixt Platinum, Chase Debit, Rav Kav Emerald
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #557 on: February 07, 2014, 11:38:24 AM »
'The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.' -Joan Rivers

'Politics is just show business for ugly people.' -Jay Leno
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline Excalibur

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Silver Elite
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2013
  • Posts: 513
  • Total likes: 2
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #558 on: February 09, 2014, 12:54:40 AM »
In response to a story of a guy quitting heroin by chopping off an arm,

That seems like a permanent solution to a temporary problem

Offline YSP

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite
  • ****
  • Join Date: Apr 2013
  • Posts: 273
  • Total likes: 13
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #559 on: February 10, 2014, 09:25:16 AM »
“if I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “thank you” is all I need.  Not all this “how did you get in my house” business.”