Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 200526 times)

Offline aygart

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #620 on: June 19, 2014, 09:23:20 AM »
Reminds me of:
I might be skitzafranik but at least we have each other.
what does a shiksa have to do with this?:-X
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Dr Moose

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #621 on: June 19, 2014, 09:35:28 AM »
Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Hey there! I am using DansDeals Forums.

Offline MC

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #622 on: June 19, 2014, 09:55:50 AM »

Reminds me of:
I might be a schizophrenic but at least we have each other.
FTFY
I guess even spell check didn't know what to do with that one :)

Offline Myccrabbi

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #623 on: June 19, 2014, 10:33:49 AM »
FTFY
I guess even spell check didn't know what to do with that one :)
right on :)
If u work for a living, why kill urself working?

Offline Super Speed

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #624 on: June 19, 2014, 08:49:57 PM »
Money talks... Mine says good bye!


Offline DovtheBear

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #625 on: June 20, 2014, 01:52:15 AM »
Money talks... Mine says good bye!
Money can't buy happiness-but it sure helps!
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline Toasted

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #626 on: June 20, 2014, 09:03:53 AM »
Money can't buy happiness-but it sure helps!

Money can't buy happiness-but it can help you suffer in comfort!!

Offline TimT

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #627 on: June 20, 2014, 09:13:35 AM »
Money can't buy happiness-but it can help you suffer in comfort!!
+1. Suffering in coach vs. suffering in first class.

Offline lubaby

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #628 on: June 30, 2014, 03:27:03 PM »
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Offline SamKey

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #629 on: June 30, 2014, 03:30:57 PM »
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
lol

Offline avadah

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #630 on: July 01, 2014, 03:54:49 AM »
Money can't buy happiness-but it can help you suffer in comfort!!
Money can't buy happiness but I like to have it around to choose the misery that suits me best. -Groucho Marx

Offline Tuna Baygel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #631 on: July 01, 2014, 11:58:29 AM »
Money can't buy happiness, but if your miserable you might as well be comfortable---My Zaida Z"L


Offline rj95

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #632 on: July 01, 2014, 02:05:56 PM »
Don't wear fur! Do you know that one fur coat kills 14 trees just for the protest signs?! -Emo Philips
Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #633 on: July 18, 2014, 04:49:41 PM »
Hamas claiming their rockets are shooting down 90% of Israel's Iron Dome missiles
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Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #634 on: July 18, 2014, 04:53:36 PM »
Hamas claiming their rockets are shooting down 90% of Israel's Iron Dome missiles
http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=42493.msg867843#msg867843 ;)

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #635 on: July 18, 2014, 04:55:10 PM »
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #636 on: July 18, 2014, 04:56:40 PM »
You plagiarized it from me :)
I made up the line 2 days ago
I made it up 2 days before that :P

Offline Freddie

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #637 on: July 18, 2014, 05:25:41 PM »
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

I am very sorry and not trying to be mean but that joke sucks.

If the cat walks into a bar, then that's it, he walked into a bar. The only uncertainty is when he is hidden from being observed.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #638 on: July 18, 2014, 05:38:18 PM »
I am very sorry and not trying to be mean but that joke sucks.

If the cat walks into a bar, then that's it, he walked into a bar. The only uncertainty is when he is hidden from being observed.
Well were YOU observing the bar?

Offline Twin

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #639 on: July 18, 2014, 07:32:45 PM »
Hamas claiming their rockets are shooting down 90% of Israel's Iron Dome missiles
Lmao