(sorry its long)
wow.. love this thread. to bad i was busy enjoying disney world with my almost 3 yr old son. But i have so much to say from a woman's point of view- who didnt get married VERY young (22) and came from a big family (11) that having a child- let alone children, is most def the hardest thing a human can ever do, AND are most def the least prepared about. And for a woman it starts long before the cute little furry thing pops out. I do feel that many many couples now (in my circles at least) had one child soon after marriage and than took a long break b4 the next because it was something they were so scarred about they couldnt comprehend doing it again (ever) so fast. It took me physically and mentally 2 years to even think ill even want to have more children. It was so bad to the point when i saw pregnant woman my heart went out to them, and i said im never doing that again. But i do feel that now my son is just about 3- im a mother. And a mothers job is to have children and give up herself for them. And it doesnt happen to everyone as soon as they have a baby, some people it takes a few years to realize life isnt about being selfish. And at that point it makes it possible to continue to have more children because your mind set is in a completely different place than a 20 year old mindset who just wants to have fun. There are still very many mornings when i just cant pull myself outta bed at 7am (ya for me thats still early im just about getting out of teenager mode) for my son who wants to eat breakfast. But im learning that this is my love, hes a part of me, and i need to make sure im doing the best to my ability to make sure hes comfortable and smiling. And now instead of complaining i ask advice on things i just dont feel im doing just right- and people have such amazing ideas of better ways of coping. But i do also realize i would have never come to this place if i wudda popped out 3-4 kids in 4 years. and i would most probably be a mess and non functioning. And i come from a family of 11 as mentioned- so not like i ever thought it would be a picnic. BUT i NEVER imagined this. And a side note- however hard it is for all u men- think about ur wives who go thru pregnancy- and on top of that with another baby and on top of that WORKING a JOB!!! I also feel like there is a lack of hands on chinuch teachings to go around, and i feel that todays society really screwed up what a jewish family should be.. how many people here feel that their houses would be a better place if we didnt have facebook, or DD to show and compare all of our perfect little lives with the world... I know that the times i get into a fight with my husband it always stemmed to something i saw on FB that so and so looks so happy always why cant we be like that. Media killed society. And thats why people have such a hard time with becoming parents because everything is so on the open, nothing is private anymore- and we need to be taught everything. Mothers should be home washing laundry in the river- and men should be out plowing fields- noone will have chinuch problems anymore.
