Author Topic: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial  (Read 51572 times)

Offline Side incomer

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #180 on: January 05, 2013, 11:46:37 PM »
Just started reading, don't know if this point was made yet.

We are mostly (or all here) a bunch of youngsters, which barely reached the 30s or 40s, and we are complaining for things that last exactly 10-13 years at most. Once you reach that stage you have biggies to help, and to watch the children etc...

We should all remember that there is a long life from the 45 till the 120, and even longer from 120 and on. Ask anybody that finished (or in middle of) marrying off his children, if he regrets one second bringing down so many children with all those years he suffered. I guarantee you won't find a single negative response. The people that have a lot of children enjoy every minute of family joy and growth throughout the years to come.
Of course, we should also take into consideration the general Jewish concept that all mitzvis and maasim tovim that children and grand children do all years to come are to the benefit of the father/grandfather that brought them down to this world.

So basically, it pays to suffer a bit for a few years, knowing that for many years while living on this earth, and lnetzech netzachim, you'd be grateful and thankful to yourself for all those efforts.
And don't forget, that even in those years, you still have joy and nachas from all the good moments (which are sometimes the majority, but you forget after one bad night).

I would wish if anybody above 40 or 50 with a lot of children can chime in to agree or disagree with what said.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2013, 12:11:44 AM by Side incomer »
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Offline HelpMe

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #181 on: January 05, 2013, 11:49:02 PM »
I would wish if anybody above 40 or 50 with a lot of children can chime in to agree or disagree with what said.
What is considered a lot.
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Offline AsherO

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #182 on: January 05, 2013, 11:54:58 PM »
What is considered a lot.

Yours would be considered small in Side Incomer's hood :P
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Offline whYME

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #183 on: January 06, 2013, 12:10:13 AM »
Yours would be considered a few in Side Incomer's hood :P
ftfy :)
(I don't think I've seen you being the Grammar Police in quite a while but it's still fun to correct you occasionally) ;)

Offline AsherO

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #184 on: January 06, 2013, 12:12:18 AM »
ftfy :)
(I don't think I've seen you being the Grammar Police in quite a while but it's still fun to correct you occasionally) ;)

IIABDFI :D

Yours could refer to his children, which would be considered few, or it could refer to his family, which would be considered small, the latter is what I was saying, please CMIIW.
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Offline whYME

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #185 on: January 06, 2013, 12:20:48 AM »
please CMIIW.
The question was what is considered "a lot" (of children.) The inverse of that would be "a few."

(Yes, his family could be considered "small," but the discussion until that point was his children.)

Offline whYME

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #186 on: January 06, 2013, 12:26:28 AM »
You took a response I made to moko out of context, twisted it and interpreted it to mean I was saying that I do not believe in the afterlife and the I am ready to commit suicide if I knew it gets better, two thing I most definitely did not say. Then you drew a conclusion from these two falsehoods and proclaimed that I am the type of person who would throw my child in a garbage bin.

Way to elevate this conversation.

It is clear you did not actually read what I wrote with any intention of understanding it.

Furthermore, asking others who may know me to intervene based on a warped reading of my post and without even an armchair therapists understanding of  me or my dilemma is irresponsible and does not reflect well on you or our community as a whole.

I sincerely hope that the others posting in this thread take a moment to realize this and to assert their position on the side of sanity and thoughtfulness.
I do think Chaikel was a bit extreme, I don't think you're about to commit suicide or throw your kid in the garbage. However, I do believe (based on reading what you've written) that your issues here are more severe than just "normal" (if there is such a thing) parenting stress / hardships. I would strongly suggest you seek out professional help.
I don't claim to have "even an armchair therapists understanding" of you, but I (and many others here) have lived through your "dilemma" before and I find it very clear from your posts that you have a very unhealthy attitude towards your child and current life.

Please, do yourself and (more importantly?) your wife and child a favor and speak to a qualified professional.

I hope you don't see this as an attack on you, it was not meant in that way, merely as a friendly suggestion.
I was originally planning to PM you, but now that Chaikel "let the cat out of the bag," I figured I'd post here. (for one thing if others think I'm wrong and missed the mark they can respond.)

Offline AsherO

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #187 on: January 06, 2013, 12:30:29 AM »
The question was what is considered "a lot" (of children.) The inverse of that would be "a few."

(Yes, his family could be considered "small," but the discussion until that point was his children.)

FWIU HelpMe was trying to figure out where his family falls, and I was addressing his question. You can argue from today until tomorrow, but my grammar holds for what I was saying.
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Offline whYME

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #188 on: January 06, 2013, 12:43:18 AM »
FWIU HelpMe was trying to figure out where his family falls
True, that was the underlying meaning behind his question, but his actual question was how many children would be considered a lot, not what is considered a large or small family.
So yes, your sentence on it's own was grammatically correct. but as a direct answer to HelpMe's question, not so much.

Offline AsherO

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #189 on: January 06, 2013, 12:54:35 AM »
True, that was the underlying meaning behind his question, but his actual question was how many children would be considered a lot, not what is considered a large or small family.
So yes, your sentence on it's own was grammatically correct. but as a direct answer to HelpMe's question, not so much.

If I would've spelled out your family instead of yours, you wouldn't have said something. That in itself proves to me there's nothing wrong with the "small" part of the sentence.
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Offline whYME

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #190 on: January 06, 2013, 01:07:29 AM »
If I would've spelled out your family instead of yours, you wouldn't have said something. That in itself proves to me there's nothing wrong with the "small" part of the sentence.
1. But you didn't spell it out.
2. We're going around in circles here. Again, "small" on its own would've been fine but not as a reply to "a lot."
« Last Edit: January 06, 2013, 02:31:55 AM by whYME »

Offline HelpMe

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #191 on: January 06, 2013, 05:16:50 AM »
How about a direct answer to my question (number of children)?  :)
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Offline Dan

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #192 on: January 06, 2013, 09:29:45 AM »
How about a direct answer to my question (number of children)?  :)
Depends entirely on the sect.
In SIs hood? "A lot" would probably have to be more than 15 :D

In another sect greater than 5 may be "a lot"
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #193 on: January 06, 2013, 11:48:36 AM »
(for one thing if others think I'm wrong and missed the mark they can respond.)
I did already. OP sounds exactly like my Chavrusah in Kollel when he would vent to me after falling asleep on his Sefer one too many times every day. By now he's expecting his second child, and looks pretty happy about it too.
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline HelpMe

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #194 on: January 06, 2013, 12:07:51 PM »
Depends entirely on the sect.
In SIs hood? "A lot" would probably have to be more than 15 :D

In another sect greater than 5 may be "a lot"
The 5 seems about right (a lot). I hope you are kidding about 15.
"Elvis Has Left The Building"