The truth about children - Warning: Controversial

[CountValentine]

@Yehuda S, I'm dead serious - you gotta get therapy.

Is there a one to one trade?

[Baruch]

Oh COME on! How is this worth a sleepless night? Get real.

Say your kid came to you and said "Tatty can I give you a mushy kiss and then scream all night?"

No one on this board would say yes. No one!

You need help. Seriously. Professional help.

[skyguy918]

So far no one has said they'd take the offer in a one-to-one exchange...

Don't know why you're fixated on that, raising a child isn't a series of one to one exchanges of kisses and screaming nights.

[CountValentine]

So far no one has said they'd take the offer in a one-to-one exchange...

I will take it every day of the week and twice on Sunday. I am not home at night. 

[yehuda S]

You need help. Seriously. Professional help.

Don't just stand there and say that! Pitch in.

[good sam]

Don't know why you're fixated on that, raising a child isn't a series of one to one exchanges of kisses and screaming nights.

lol

[churnbabychurn]

Don't just stand there and say that! Pitch in.

Love comes from giving.
The more you give, the less self centered you become, the more you'll love your kids and you'll become happier each day.
That's my professional advice.

[yehuda S]

Don't know why you're fixated on that, raising a child isn't a series of one to one exchanges of kisses and screaming nights.

Nah, there also tons of money involved.

[Baruch]

Don't just stand there and say that! Pitch in.

I'm not a professional.

But I will stay this. I've lost countless of nights of sleep. Spent countless hours of listening to screaming and kvetching. Cleaned up hundreds of spills and messes. Changed thousands of diapers.   And I have zero negative feeling about having children.

And all healthy people feel the same way.

If you feel differently you either are unhealthy or an extremely selfish person. Both of those hopefully can be cured with professional help.

[Baruch]

If being self centered, doesn't include your children in the self centeredness, then you are extremely self centered.
Look in Rav Shimon's Hakdama to Sharei Yosher.

[CountValentine]

If you feel differently you either are unhealthy or an extremely selfish person.

Wow!

[yehuda S]

Wow!

Said what you were thinking? 

[CountValentine]

Said what you were thinking? 

Not this time. 

[george]

Oh COME on! How is this worth a sleepless night? Get real.

Say your kid came to you and said "Tatty can I give you a mushy kiss and then scream all night?"

No one on this board would say yes. No one!

Forgive me for being blunt.

I really hope, for your childrens' sakes, that you do not give off the same attitude towards parenting that you do in this thread when you are in the presence of your children.

Parenting is excruciatingly tough. For some people it is way tougher than for others. Don't beat yourself up for making mistakes or for not being the best father you can be. Instead, resolve to work on it every day. Have a positive attitude. It will make all the diferrence, I promise.
Best of luck.

[good sam]

Forgive me for being blunt.

I really hope, for your childrens' sakes, that you do not give off the same attitude towards parenting that you do in this thread when you are in the presence of your children.

Parenting is excruciatingly tough. For some people it is way tougher than for others. Don't beat yourself up for making mistakes or for not being the best father you can be. Instead, resolve to work on it every day. Have a positive attitude. It will make all the diferrence, I promise.
Best of luck.

Kudos for taking positive approach

[yehuda S]

I'm happy to say that I hold no grudge against someone who only has ooey gooey feelings for their kid's sleepless nights and cannot get enough of their messy diapers.

However, sadly, many of the posters here demonstrate their intolerance and unsympathetic nature with their vitriol for anyone who simply finds parenting a difficult job. I would never claim that being a parent does not come with gratifying moments but how is it that you cannot conceive that some people may be having a harder time than you or did not receive the same amount of preparation for this role?

Instead of putting yourself in my shoes you are rallying around your children in a defensive posture unwilling to see the difficulties that others might be having.

[CountValentine]

Maybe you are just saying what some are afraid to say. 

[churnbabychurn]

I'm happy to say that I hold no grudge against someone who only has ooey gooey feelings for their kid's sleepless nights and cannot get enough of their messy diapers.

However, sadly, many of the posters here demonstrate their intolerance and unsympathetic nature with their vitriol for anyone who simply finds parenting a difficult job. I would never claim that being a parent does not come with gratifying moments but how is it that you cannot conceive that some people may be having a harder time than you or did not receive the same amount of preparation for this role?

Instead of putting yourself in my shoes you are rallying around your children in a defensive posture unwilling to see the difficulties that others might be having.

Ok, il play your side. 
Many men are not cut out to deal with crying, dirty and hungry children. You obviously are one of these guys, it does not necessarily mean you're a bad father. Its very normal, its the world that has gone mad! Since when does a real man change a diaper?!
Of course you are miserable. In some families, the mother must stay home and single handedly manage the children and the father must man up, go out and bring back the cash. He only touches happy, clean children and even that only on the weekends.

[skyguy918]

I'm happy to say that I hold no grudge against someone who only has ooey gooey feelings for their kid's sleepless nights and cannot get enough of their messy diapers.

However, sadly, many of the posters here demonstrate their intolerance and unsympathetic nature with their vitriol for anyone who simply finds parenting a difficult job. I would never claim that being a parent does not come with gratifying moments but how is it that you cannot conceive that some people may be having a harder time than you or did not receive the same amount of preparation for this role?

Instead of putting yourself in my shoes you are rallying around your children in a defensive posture unwilling to see the difficulties that others might be having.

Speaking for myself, it does seem as though you've been incredulous about others' claims of happiness in child-rearing, and that's mostly what drew my responses. But I'll take you for your word for it if you say you understand the other side of the coin.

On the other hand, I don't think it's crazy for a person to feel overwhelmed, or not enjoy the experience of child-rearing. But don't say woe is me, work toward a better experience. I'm not a professional, so I don't know the what's and how's of improving the experience.

I do however think it's important to reiterate george's point above, that it's crucial that you don't show this attitude to your children, because it can be very damaging to one of the most important relationships a person ever has.

[sky121]

The bottom line is that having children is hard. We do it because it's worth it. We deal with all the sleepless nights and the giving up of ourselves because at the end of the day we are gaining as well. 

Trying to place an even exchange of a kiss for a sleepless night is just silly.

Dan was just giving an example of one of the moments in life that reminds us why we have children. Moments that are filled with nothing but joy. Is every moment like that? No. 

Some people will definitely have a harder time having children than others. And like we've discussed before no one really knows what they are getting themselves into. Some more than others.

I think it's great Yehuda S didn't feel bad to start such a thread because having kids IS hard and people shouldn't feel bad to talk about the hard parts as well.

And maybe he's having a harder time than others, and maybe it hit him like a ton of bricks more than others. Everyone is different. Each situation is different. So is life.