Author Topic: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial  (Read 60205 times)

Offline meshugener

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #570 on: December 05, 2013, 05:58:55 PM »
Chaikel, well said. Was just about to post this thing from paroh.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #571 on: December 05, 2013, 06:02:43 PM »

The world wasn't designed to have two working parents.
I agree but in our society today it is impossible to make it on one (average) salary. We figured a few years of hard work will hopefully pay off with many years of being self sufficient and debt free.
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Offline Chaikel

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #572 on: December 05, 2013, 06:04:57 PM »
I agree but in our society today it is impossible to make it on one (average) salary. We figured a few years of hard work will hopefully pay off with many years of being self sufficient and debt free.
With the way you feel about your children, you may want to re-evaluate that decision.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #573 on: December 05, 2013, 06:05:08 PM »

There is already a difference between a mother coming home at 3/4 than a mother coming home at 6 etc.
Extremely true.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #574 on: December 05, 2013, 06:06:15 PM »

With the way you feel about your children, you may want to re-evaluate that decision.
I don't think there ever was a choice. What's the alternative?
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Offline Chaikel

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #575 on: December 05, 2013, 06:12:02 PM »
I don't think there ever was a choice. What's the alternative?
I obviously don't know your situation, but the American Dream of "Work hard now to relax later" is for the most part, a lie. The alternative is spending less, and manageable debt. And by manageable I mean both financially (a plan to have it paid off) and psychologically (not letting every dollar spent make you mad).
« Last Edit: December 05, 2013, 06:17:56 PM by Chaikel »
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #576 on: December 05, 2013, 06:23:43 PM »

Actually to give some background, my wife is in school day and night so I am Tatty, Mommy, full time earner, diaper changer, morning clothes dresser, breakfast feeder, brown bag luncher, (for Mommy too) ponytail-maker, supper cooker, bather, pajama dresser, tantrum consoler, bedtime story teller, full time house keeper, laundry do-er, (night Seder chavrusa), among others.

;-)
I don't think I've given my wife enough credit here. She works like crazy, is going through a very intense schooling and still does a ton around the house, makes a great Shabbos every week, makes food all the time and takes care of our daughter whenever she can.

It would be great to do a 'trip report' of how we were able to get through five years of dual schooling, working full time and still taking some incredible trips together.

I don't think every mother should be working but if she is anyway, it could be really worthwhile to put in a few hard years of work and end up with a better job for life.
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline Dan

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #577 on: December 05, 2013, 06:29:30 PM »
better job for life.
Good luck finding a well paying job that lets you get off at 3.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #578 on: December 05, 2013, 06:44:42 PM »

Good luck finding a well paying job that lets you get off at 3.
What is your definition of well paying?
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline sky121

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #579 on: December 05, 2013, 07:10:11 PM »
I'm all for sacrificing certain luxuries and things in my life for working less and having a calmer life.  Obviously it all depends on your financial situation.  Being in debt isn't a calmer life either.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #580 on: December 05, 2013, 07:18:45 PM »

I obviously don't know your situation, but the American Dream of "Work hard now to relax later" is for the most part, a lie. The alternative is spending less, and manageable debt. And by manageable I mean both financially (a plan to have it paid off) and psychologically (not letting every dollar spent make you mad).
Since we started school we've given up our lease in favor of used cars, stopped eating out in restaurants; home cook instead, travel with points, stopped dry cleaning, buy only the bare basics of food, eat leftovers again and again, extreme minimum of clothing purchases, kicked buying coffee in Starbucks, let go of all our house cleaning help, went cash & debit card instead of using credit cards, and reuse our garbage bags.

(Ok I'm kidding about the last one) :-)

It's amazing how much you can give up when you're focused on a goal.
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #581 on: December 05, 2013, 07:19:49 PM »
Oh yeah - we also shopped for clothes in second hand stores.
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #582 on: December 05, 2013, 07:27:56 PM »
Did the cost of living vs the average wage go up so much in the last 40 years?
40 years ago mother's didn't work.

Offline Dan

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #583 on: December 05, 2013, 07:57:47 PM »
Did the cost of living vs the average wage go up so much in the last 40 years?
40 years ago mother's didn't work.
My father is paying more than double for tuition for my brothers in school now compared to what he paid for my tuition.
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Offline sky121

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #584 on: December 05, 2013, 08:01:03 PM »
My father is paying more than double for tuition for my brothers in school now compared to what he paid for my tuition.

Ouch.   Why does it seem like tuition is so high and our teachers still aren't getting paid?
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