Author Topic: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial  (Read 60498 times)

Offline yehuda S

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #615 on: February 11, 2014, 02:54:07 PM »
http://youtu.be/4AhGvR0143s

Warning: one mild off-color word.
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Offline kracked dude

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #616 on: February 11, 2014, 03:34:38 PM »


Warning: one mild off-color word.
FTFY


Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #618 on: September 08, 2014, 09:47:30 AM »

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #619 on: December 16, 2014, 05:47:52 PM »

Offline benjie1305

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #620 on: February 11, 2015, 08:45:12 PM »
So, this is a funny conversation my wife and I recently had and after having it did I only start actually thinking about it.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter. She doesn't always do what I want and I think that to a certain degree that is ok and she can have her own opinion. However, I recently realized how well reverse psychology works on her. "Don't sit nicely! No, no, no. You are not allowed to sit nicely at the table" Next thing I know, all she can do is sit nicely. This applies to eating certain foods, playing with certain toys, going to brush her teeth etc.

While I love how I can get her to do the stuff I want and need her to do my wife started disliking it bc what, according to her, it essentially does is make her (want to) misbehave more bc in actuality she is not listening to me.

Not sure what to think about it. Be happy I can get her to do the stuff I want her to do or empower her to not listen..

I am a bit torn and would love to hear some similar experiences and how they were dealt with.
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Offline lunatic

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #621 on: February 11, 2015, 08:57:11 PM »
So, this is a funny conversation my wife and I recently had and after having it did I only start actually thinking about it.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter. She doesn't always do what I want and I think that to a certain degree that is ok and she can have her own opinion. However, I recently realized how well reverse psychology works on her. "Don't sit nicely! No, no, no. You are not allowed to sit nicely at the table" Next thing I know, all she can do is sit nicely. This applies to eating certain foods, playing with certain toys, going to brush her teeth etc.

While I love how I can get her to do the stuff I want and need her to do my wife started disliking it bc what, according to her, it essentially does is make her (want to) misbehave more bc in actuality she is not listening to me.

Not sure what to think about it. Be happy I can get her to do the stuff I want her to do or empower her to not listen..

I am a bit torn and would love to hear some similar experiences and how they were dealt with.

I  actually have a 2.5 year old who is exactly like this,  and I had the same thoughts....  What I decided was,  instead of saying "you can't eat.." we say "you don't know how"  or something like that

Offline benjie1305

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #622 on: February 11, 2015, 09:50:02 PM »
I  actually have a 2.5 year old who is exactly like this,  and I had the same thoughts....  What I decided was,  instead of saying "you can't eat.." we say "you don't know how"  or something like that

Hmm. I do agree that I like that better. Sends a completely different message. Ill try that tomorrow and report back! Thx
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Offline skyguy918

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #623 on: February 11, 2015, 09:52:58 PM »
So, this is a funny conversation my wife and I recently had and after having it did I only start actually thinking about it.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter. She doesn't always do what I want and I think that to a certain degree that is ok and she can have her own opinion. However, I recently realized how well reverse psychology works on her. "Don't sit nicely! No, no, no. You are not allowed to sit nicely at the table" Next thing I know, all she can do is sit nicely. This applies to eating certain foods, playing with certain toys, going to brush her teeth etc.

While I love how I can get her to do the stuff I want and need her to do my wife started disliking it bc what, according to her, it essentially does is make her (want to) misbehave more bc in actuality she is not listening to me.

Not sure what to think about it. Be happy I can get her to do the stuff I want her to do or empower her to not listen..

I am a bit torn and would love to hear some similar experiences and how they were dealt with.
Don't worry too much one way or the other. It's a phase, they get wise eventually :P

Offline lunatic

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #624 on: February 11, 2015, 09:53:56 PM »
Hmm. I do agree that I like that better. Sends a completely different message. Ill try that tomorrow and report back! Thx

But it does not work quite as well...

Offline ckmk47

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #625 on: February 11, 2015, 10:12:38 PM »
I  actually have a 2.5 year old who is exactly like this,  and I had the same thoughts....  What I decided was,  instead of saying "you can't eat.." we say "you don't know how"  or something like that
See if you can transition to "I wonder if you can.."  so she can prove to you that she can.  And then it's positive all the way around.

Offline Sport

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #626 on: February 11, 2015, 10:15:34 PM »
So, this is a funny conversation my wife and I recently had and after having it did I only start actually thinking about it.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter. She doesn't always do what I want and I think that to a certain degree that is ok and she can have her own opinion. However, I recently realized how well reverse psychology works on her. "Don't sit nicely! No, no, no. You are not allowed to sit nicely at the table" Next thing I know, all she can do is sit nicely. This applies to eating certain foods, playing with certain toys, going to brush her teeth etc.

While I love how I can get her to do the stuff I want and need her to do my wife started disliking it bc what, according to her, it essentially does is make her (want to) misbehave more bc in actuality she is not listening to me.

Not sure what to think about it. Be happy I can get her to do the stuff I want her to do or empower her to not listen..

I am a bit torn and would love to hear some similar experiences and how they were dealt with.
I know I'm probably gonna be on an island here but are you bothered by the fact that you are using This trick getting her to do what you want; essentially controlling her.

Offline benjie1305

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #627 on: February 11, 2015, 10:23:13 PM »
I know I'm probably gonna be on an island here but are you bothered by the fact that you are using This trick getting her to do what you want; essentially controlling her.

Yes - she doesnt know it all yet. She needs to brush her teeth, go to bed at a certain time, eat dinner etc.

I make her do them bc that is something I cant just leave up to her and not for the control I get to exercise. I am just looking for some better ways of conveying this information to her. But i've read some good thought processes here.
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Offline Sport

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #628 on: February 11, 2015, 10:42:38 PM »
Yes - she doesnt know it all yet. She needs to brush her teeth, go to bed at a certain time, eat dinner etc.

I make her do them bc that is something I cant just leave up to her and not for the control I get to exercise. I am just looking for some better ways of conveying this information to her. But i've read some good thought processes here.
Of course there are things that are non negotiable. Don't get me wrong i use these tactics and incentives etc..all the time. But when i do a I. sometimes feel like I'm quelling my kid.
As a parent i find there are no limits to the amount of opportunities i have to "control" my kids. So i try to limit these tactics.

Offline benjie1305

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #629 on: February 12, 2015, 07:57:07 AM »

Of course there are things that are non negotiable. Don't get me wrong i use these tactics and incentives etc..all the time. But when i do a I. sometimes feel like I'm quelling my kid.
As a parent i find there are no limits to the amount of opportunities i have to "control" my kids. So i try to limit these tactics.

Agreed. I don't try to exercise control whenever I can. She learns her own lessons and makes her own decisions. I only intervene when it has to be or to teach a more long term lesson that I deem important.

My question was more along the lines of what strategy ppl use to do that (rather then when or for what) as this new one I tried worked but left me with a bit of a wrong gut feeling.
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