Author Topic: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial  (Read 60503 times)

Offline stbaum

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #645 on: February 12, 2015, 10:48:07 AM »
Tried that but usually the Answer is "neither i want to play first"
the only toy dd plays with is her iphone (yes, i'm one of those awful parents). in that case i tell her she can't have it till she's dressed. it's fantastic motivation.



before you guys rip me to shreds about the phone- i asked her pediatrician what she thinks and the doc said that in this day and age it's totally normal and not a problem. also she mostly plays games that teach her shapes (she know all the basics now plus heart, star, hexagon, etc), colors, numbers, letters, etc. she only watches educational tv shows.
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Offline Mordyk

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #646 on: February 12, 2015, 10:53:38 AM »
my daughter is less then 2 and knows the whole abc. definitely thanks to barney! :D

Offline Sport

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #647 on: February 12, 2015, 10:55:50 AM »
the only toy dd plays with is her iphone (yes, i'm one of those awful parents). in that case i tell her she can't have it till she's dressed. it's fantastic motivation.



before you guys rip me to shreds about the phone- i asked her pediatrician what she thinks and the doc said that in this day and age it's totally normal and not a problem. also she mostly plays games that teach her shapes (she know all the basics now plus heart, star, hexagon, etc), colors, numbers, letters, etc. she only watches educational tv shows.
I am similarly guilty, my daughter has her own tablet. But I only let her use it to watch Daniel the tiger which teaches great lessons. ( we actually discuss the lessons with my daughter like when she doesn't want to try something new. Well ask her "what does Daniel say about trying new food" . which reminds me of a funny story. After once losing it and yelling at my daughter she looks at me camly and says "when you're Angery you need to take a deep breath and count to 4, that's what Daniel the tiger says")
We also limit her time on the tablet mostly to non school days and Fridays. Otherwise she gets really cranky after watching.

Offline stbaum

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #648 on: February 12, 2015, 10:58:54 AM »
another point i'll say that Elmo said something about going to the dentist so she asked to go!

also in lue of characters- isn't Curious George the WORST?!? he gets into all sorts of trouble and doesn't care and gets rewarded!!! i hate that guy
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Offline benjie1305

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #649 on: February 12, 2015, 11:08:43 AM »
another point i'll say that Elmo said something about going to the dentist so she asked to go!

also in lue of characters- isn't Curious George the WORST?!? he gets into all sorts of trouble and doesn't care and gets rewarded!!! i hate that guy

Don't know about curious george but in regards to books, be careful of Elouise! Boy oh boy the stuff she does :)
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Offline benjie1305

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #650 on: February 12, 2015, 11:10:15 AM »
I am similarly guilty, my daughter has her own tablet. But I only let her use it to watch Daniel the tiger which teaches great lessons. ( we actually discuss the lessons with my daughter like when she doesn't want to try something new. Well ask her "what does Daniel say about trying new food" . which reminds me of a funny story. After once losing it and yelling at my daughter she looks at me camly and says "when you're Angery you need to take a deep breath and count to 4, that's what Daniel the tiger says")
We also limit her time on the tablet mostly to non school days and Fridays. Otherwise she gets really cranky after watching.

She is off Iphone and Ipad bc she used to be obsessed and just like kids are , they figure it all out and she would be tricky, start with an app and than find her way to youtube and be obsessed.

She is very "All or Nothing" so whenever it was time to put down the device she would freak out. She has been so much better without the device that for now, Ill keep it that way.
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Offline stbaum

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #651 on: February 12, 2015, 11:11:43 AM »
Don't know about curious george but in regards to books, be careful of Elouise! Boy oh boy the stuff she does :)
reminds me of: (mild language)
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/31648094.jpg
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Offline sky121

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #652 on: February 12, 2015, 11:13:46 AM »
Otherwise she gets really cranky after watching.
Wonder what that's all about...

I like exposing kids to technology to some degree so they aren't amazed by it one day in the wrong way and also to have basic knowledge of how to use things. I'd say that starts at about 4/5.

That's not to say that I've never showed my 3 year old nephew a video or let him see pictures on the phone but once a week? It easily gets out of hand with even the best of intentions at that rate IMHO.
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Offline benjie1305

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Offline Sport

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #654 on: February 12, 2015, 11:15:34 AM »
She is off Iphone and Ipad bc she used to be obsessed and just like kids are , they figure it all out and she would be tricky, start with an app and than find her way to youtube and be obsessed.

She is very "All or Nothing" so whenever it was time to put down the device she would freak out. She has been so much better without the device that for now, Ill keep it that way.
Sounds like my daughter..what i started doing with mostly successful results is before i press play I show her the red statusbc bar and tell her that when it reaches the end we need to shut it off. Usually it works but if she's fat enough she will sometimes start the next episode and say the bars only in the beggining.

Offline stbaum

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #655 on: February 12, 2015, 11:16:11 AM »
Wonder what that's all about...

I like exposing kids to technology to some degree so they aren't amazed by it one day in the wrong way and also to have basic knowledge of how to use things. I'd say that starts at about 4/5.

That's not to say that I've never showed my 3 year old nephew a video or let him see pictures on the phone but once a week? It easily gets out of hand with even the best of intentions at that rate IMHO.

haha dd has iphone in the morning, uses an iPad in preschool, plus iphone in the evenings after dinner.
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Offline Sport

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #656 on: February 12, 2015, 11:17:13 AM »
Wonder what that's all about...

I like exposing kids to technology to some degree so they aren't amazed by it one day in the wrong way and also to have basic knowledge of how to use things. I'd say that starts at about 4/5.

That's not to say that I've never showed my 3 year old nephew a video or let him see pictures on the phone but once a week? It easily gets out of hand with even the best of intentions at that rate IMHO.
Agreed but sometimes as a parent you gotta do things that aren't ideall. Its more about finding a proper balance.

Offline skyguy918

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #657 on: February 12, 2015, 11:26:25 AM »
Too many comments for me to address them all, but I have a few general comments to add to this discussion.

It seems to me that as parents, there will always be a balance between doing things in the way you feel will have the absolute best 'chinuch' effect on them, and doing things in whatever way solves the issue the quickest/easiest. If you can always do it the best/chinuch way, good for you, your children will probably be better off for it. But unless you're always doing it the quickest/easiest way, don't beat yourself up about it, you're not permanently damaging your child or anything. Sometimes we have to make choices between wasting an hour that we don't have to spare trying to get a child to do something, and figuring out a quick trick, that may not be the absolute best method of parenting, to get them to do it quickly. I hope that makes sense to people.

As far as the actual methods, you have to find what works for each child at any particular time. Every child will be different, and each child changes over time in this regard (very rapidly I might add).

Offline sky121

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #658 on: February 12, 2015, 11:37:35 AM »
Agreed but sometimes as a parent you gotta do things that aren't ideall. Its more about finding a proper balance.

I agree. But I think with that theory people and parents allow themselves to let their kids do things that at the end of the choice they have the choice and control to do differently and better especially when it comes to technology.
I recently met a really nice family while traveling and got into this discussion with them.
Their kids go to a religious day school and they limit their kids 9,8, and 5 to half hour of screen time a week.  I was impressed. I realize it's hard in today's world and I realize as a parent it's an easy fix and help but that's not necessarily a good excuse and I see it easily abused because "sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do".
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Offline Sport

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #659 on: February 12, 2015, 11:39:08 AM »
Too many comments for me to address them all, but I have a few general comments to add to this discussion.

It seems to me that as parents, there will always be a balance between doing things in the way you feel will have the absolute best 'chinuch' effect on them, and doing things in whatever way solves the issue the quickest/easiest. If you can always do it the best/chinuch way, good for you, your children will probably be better off for it. But unless you're always doing it the quickest/easiest way, don't beat yourself up about it, you're not permanently damaging your child or anything. Sometimes we have to make choices between wasting an hour that we don't have to spare trying to get a child to do something, and figuring out a quick trick, that may not be the absolute best method of parenting, to get them to do it quickly. I hope that makes sense to people.

As far as the actual methods, you have to find what works for each child at any particular time. Every child will be different, and each child changes over time in this regard (very rapidly I might add).
That's exactly what I've been trying to say. Thanks
And by the way it goes both ways. Just like it's not the end of the world if yousacrifice long term parenting for immidiate needs, it's not the end of the world if you let your child do something that's against your better judgment once in a while ie staying up late not eating a healthy break fast.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2015, 11:51:33 AM by Sport »