Author Topic: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial  (Read 50980 times)

Offline Galitzyaner

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Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #105 on: January 04, 2013, 06:52:33 AM »
I know that the times i get into a fight with my husband it always stemmed to something i saw on FB that so and so looks so happy always why cant we be like that.
WTH :-X
There's societal pressure to get married and have kids early.
???  Halacha?!

Dan, maybe you can get Rabbi Chaikin to chime in on this thread ;D

Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #106 on: January 04, 2013, 07:06:07 AM »
Halacha?!
There is a very big difference between halacha and hanahaga
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Offline Galitzyaner

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Re: Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #107 on: January 04, 2013, 07:13:27 AM »
There is a very big difference between halacha and hanahaga
Hanhaga sanctioned by halacha?

Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #108 on: January 04, 2013, 08:02:46 AM »
Hanhaga sanctioned by halacha?
There is no halacha to get married young, or to procreate beyond 1 son and 1 daughter.
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Offline Galitzyaner

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Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #109 on: January 04, 2013, 08:17:42 AM »
There is no halacha to get married young, or to procreate beyond 1 son and 1 daughter.
I guess 20 (the halachic "deadline" ) is not young in your books.

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The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #110 on: January 04, 2013, 08:21:42 AM »
There isn't an Halacha, But there is a Mitzva of Sheves


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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #111 on: January 04, 2013, 08:27:31 AM »
I am following this thread and for the first time am lost for words. I will just say that it seems that many are getting married before they are ready.
From an outsider it gotta look like that. But typically we are all running happy health lives.



Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #112 on: January 04, 2013, 08:33:06 AM »
I guess 20 (the halachic "deadline" ) is not young in your books.
Thats not halacha.
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Offline Galitzyaner

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #113 on: January 04, 2013, 08:43:34 AM »
Thats not halacha.
Yes it is, explicitly in Shu"a Evh"a siman alef.

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #114 on: January 04, 2013, 08:57:03 AM »
Yes it is, explicitly in Shu"a Evh"a siman alef.
Halacha is something one is absolutely required to do, either because G-d commanded or because chazal commanded. Beis Din force one to do anything he is halchically required to.

Getting married before 20 is a guideline set forth by chazal, beis din aren't kofe someone to do that
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Offline YankyDoodle

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #115 on: January 04, 2013, 09:00:27 AM »
Everyone's talking about not being selfish and just giving yourselves over to your kids... It's in the kids best interest to have sane, functioning parents. For some ppl, they would be better off giving proper attention to a smaller number of children than popping them out by the dozens.

Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #116 on: January 04, 2013, 09:03:24 AM »
Everyone's talking about not being selfish and just giving yourselves over to your kids... It's in the kids best interest to have sane, functioning parents. For some ppl, they would be better off giving proper attention to a smaller number of children than popping them out by the dozens.

בהדי כבשי דרחמנא למה לך? מאי דמפקדת, איבעי לך למעבד. ומה דניחא קמיה קודשא בריך הוא, ליעביד!


Not saying it applies here but food for thought.
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Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #117 on: January 04, 2013, 09:07:20 AM »
Not saying it applies here but food for thought.
Well seeing that the source of that quote is to someone who didn't want to have kids, I would say it's appropriate, though every case should be dealt with on its own merits with a CLOR.
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline sky121

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #118 on: January 04, 2013, 09:15:03 AM »
Everyone's talking about not being selfish and just giving yourselves over to your kids... It's in the kids best interest to have sane, functioning parents. For some ppl, they would be better off giving proper attention to a smaller number of children than popping them out by the dozens.

2 separate issues.


1. People having too many kids they can't take care of properly (whether financially, physically, emotionally) .


2.  Raising children is hard.
Many aren't as prepared as they could be for what it entails. And even though it may seem like everyone else is doing it just fine, no problems, that isn't true.
It's hard. Just a fact. Not a bad one. Just a truth.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline puddles

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Re: The truth about children - Warning: Controversial
« Reply #119 on: January 04, 2013, 09:16:19 AM »
I agree. The cost of living is so high, and when you factor in all the needs of just one child it just skyrockets. Clothing, Food, Schooling, etc. If a couple doesn't have two moderate/well paying jobs it can get overwhelming and if you are lucky enough to have two working parents the stresses of making time for Doctor appointments, juggling the playgroup hours (which inevitably are hours that normal employers won't be happy about (9:30am - 2 pm?) all take a toll. Many people find their wives are working just to pay the babysitters and playgroups.
+100. Seriously, what is up with these playgroups? Dont they know people work after 2?