Does anyone else on this forum know a couple who got divorced after a short marriage and left behind a single mother taking care of a child (or two), or am I the only one?
If so what does it say to you?
Is this not a heartbreaking situation that could easily be made about 99% less awful if some birth control had been strategically used?
(I personally know 4 that I can think of offhand)
you dont know why their marriage broke up.
i know of some single mothers that are happy that at least they got a child out of their bad marriage. they figure that thats why they had to go thru it in the first place.
of course u also have other perspectives.
im not saying people (especially those with marriage problems) shouldnt use bc, im just pointing out another view.
to be honest Yehudah s, u sound bitter rather then stressed.
i think we should have alot more preparation for other things as well but that makes me annoyed or stressed, not bitter and hating the situation.
i think its alot about attitude. yes it would be nice to have a heads up about child rearing, yes it would be nice if we had easy pregnancies, calm beautiful children that slept thru the night at 3 weeks old. and then never had a fight with their sibling. but thats prob not gonna happen.
so if u take an attitude of - man this is harder then i thought but i am already here so let me make the best of it. speak to people "in the know", get some tips and good ideas. try to create happy moments as a family. get a babysitter and go out with ur spouse at least twice a month. enjoy the nachas moments as they come. enjoy the brilliant things they say and do. talk to a friend to "let out" about the annoying things they do.
sometimes we can get really frustrated with our kids and we can think of 10 things they did wrong. on a good day do u also stop to think of 10 good things about them?
my hardest kid is also the brightest, the most talented and (sometimes) the most helpful. so when she starts acting up i have to take a mindset of how do i deal with this situation to calm her down, have her get back to her tzadekes mode. or at mimimum at least not make a bad situation worse by screaming, shouting and being negative.
if i just think, this is so hard and stressful, im 25 and shouldnt have to deal with this, i havent taken a vacation in 2 years bec of my kids.... then theres no way the situation wont go even more downhill.
so bottom line is - yes, kids are not easy to raise. yes there should be classes, awareness BEFORE we have kids, but we can still be happy with the children we have and try to find the positive.
cmon, who doesnt like being woken up at 6 am with ut 5 yr old crawling into ur bed adn saying I love u Mammy