The truth about children - Warning: Controversial

[Dan]

That is a Kodak moment. You haven’t seen anything yet. Wait till they get older.

I dunno, I can't really imagine a better moment that seeing the huge smile on my son's face after coming home from a trip.

[creditor]

My point is this is way beyond the scope of a forum debate. If you want to help we can offer funds if he can't afford professional help, but that's about all

+100
I was thinking the exact same.

[HelpMe]

I dunno, I can't really imagine a better moment that seeing the huge smile on my son's face after coming home from a trip.

How about your son coming home from serving overseas and your street lined with friends and family welcoming him home and thanking him for his service?

[AsherO]

I used to say "When I will be an astronaut.."
I am not prepared to be an astronaut.Seriously?

You're born not knowing anything. Growing up is a chance to learn what a home is supposed to be like. If someone's parents didn't teach them (properly), it's incumbent upon them (as adults) to learn this on their own.

This Forum is entitled: Just Schmooze:kick back and talk about anything. It also happens to be populated by frum Jews who share many of my experiences. Why don't you ask this in the thread about interesting videos or funny jokes?

C'mon, are you comparing the responsibility of raising children to funny videos or jokes?

You have a responsibility, albeit a hard one. There are online forums devoted to parenting, even frum ones. There are also frum professionals and Rabbis who can guide you in this area. If you take your responsibility seriously you should pursue those venues.

While you can shmooze (or vent) about anything here, this isn't the ideal ("what better a place") to discuss this.

Several people suggested that I am merely venting or bitter even as I have reiterated that my concern is largely for the children being raised my incompetent parents. most parents will be ok, it's their children who will suffer. The events of the first few years of life are what defines a person's entire life.

I don't buy any of that. I don't mean to get too personal but the first 3-4 years of my life have been more traumatic than most people and while it took a lot of hard work for me as an adult, I am a happy functional person today BH. You're entitled to vent, but if people need help, they need to get it, and not just be aware of "the truth".

Exactly. So let's all stop pretending that it is always cushy and bubbling over with pride and nachas. That just makes them feel worse.

Life isn't all cushy etc. but instead of looking at your half-empty cup, deal with your issues so that you have a balanced view. People need to appreciate the good life and beware of the difficulties. Since you agreed the two aren't mutually exclusive, people who are happy-go-lucky can continue doing so (if it works for them), and the rest of us have things to beware of in a balanced way.

[Galitzyaner]

Beis din are kofe to lay tefillin & shake lulav.

Some BS here but he quotes the Gemara & Rambam that paskens it http://www.daat.ac.il/mishpat-ivri/skirot/311-2.htm

Iif you really don't understand the difference between the chiyuv to keep the shabbos & the din to get married by 20 you have a really big problem.

I stand corrected Re. the Lulav & Tefillin etc..

However,  from where do you get to this whole סברא that because by this particular Halacha the shu"a paskens that beis din is אין כופין, that therefore there is a lesser practical obligation?
Since when is the obligation any less? From where do you deduce that because a beis din is not kofe, makes any difference vis-a-vis practical obligation?

Do you have a source?  Or is this plain בּויך סברות?

[yehuda S]

Gut Voch everyone! 

So I'd like to say a few things to Mr. Chaikel. I'll address you directly which is something you apparently lack the courage to do.

First of all, What in the world does this mean?

Not because of some God run mafia, or Rumpelstiltskinain threats,

Onward..

But after seeing posts like this
And this!?
Seriously, if the OP a) doesn't believe there is a better life to come, and b) Is ready to commit suicide if he believed such a thing, well then he is way beyond the help of a forum, and critically needs immediate therapy and assistance. I would say his kid's life is in danger, both spiritually and physically, as this is a deeply disturbed attitude manifested by the kinds of parents that dump their kids in garbage cans. Something that a parent can't begin to comprehend, but people snap.
(HT MosheP for really hitting it out of the park in some posts)

You took a response I made to moko out of context, twisted it and interpreted it to mean I was saying that I do not believe in the afterlife and the I am ready to commit suicide if I knew it gets better, two thing I most definitely did not say. Then you drew a conclusion from these two falsehoods and proclaimed that I am the type of person who would throw my child in a garbage bin.

Way to elevate this conversation.

It is clear you did not actually read what I wrote with any intention of understanding it.

Furthermore, asking others who may know me to intervene based on a warped reading of my post and without even an armchair therapists understanding of  me or my dilemma is irresponsible and does not reflect well on you or our community as a whole.

I sincerely hope that the others posting in this thread take a moment to realize this and to assert their position on the side of sanity and thoughtfulness.

[AsherO]

I sincerely hope that the others posting in this thread take a moment to realize this and to assert their position on the side of sanity and thoughtfulness.

Your posts, including the title of this thread, come from a place of emotion, not thoughtfulness. Please hold yourself to the same standards you hold others to.

[DrDanny]

Your posts, including the title of this thread, come from a place of emotion, not thoughtfulness. Please hold yourself to the same standards you hold others to.

Come on the point was sanity and in this context if you think about your emotions that would count as thoughtfulness
(is there a deeper reason you don't want this thread to go on)

[Achas Veachas]

OK I think some people are reading a bit too much into this. The OP does not seem suicidal and he does not hate babies (his own or any others), he is just having a bit of an (understandable) hard time now. How many of you ever dealt with a colicky baby? B"H my son hasn't put me through that but I have a younger brother who was, and even though this was over 15 years ago, and I was only 9 at the time I still remember it, it's enough to make any parent question his/her abilities.

Put it this way: 1 of the most rewarding experiences for me as a father is when my baby is crying, and I pick him up, rock him and after a few minutes he calms down and is happy. That makes me feel like I'm a good father. That I can provide for this helpless person in my arms. Now imagine if after hours of holding, rocking, bouncing, singing, holding on the arm, holding on the shoulder etc. etc. etc. the baby is still shrieking like nothing happened. It's enough to make YOU feel helpless as if you're doing something wrong.

All the satisfaction people have been talking about untill now comes from feeling confident that you can take care of your baby, take that away and you are left with just the stress and hardships and sleepless nights.

Dont worry! OP jr. will grow out of her colic soon enough and than OP will be the doting proud father he knows he can be!

[Dan]

OK I think some people are reading a bit too much into this. The OP does not seem suicidal and he does not hate babies (his own or any others), he is just having a bit of an (understandable) hard time now. How many of you ever dealt with a colicky baby? B"H my son hasn't put me through that but I have a younger brother who was, and even though this was over 15 years ago, and I was only 9 at the time I still remember it, it's enough to make any parent question his/her abilities.

Put it this way: 1 of the most rewarding experiences for me as a father is when my baby is crying, and I pick him up, rock him and after a few minutes he calms down and is happy. That makes me feel like I'm a good father. That I can provide for this helpless person in my arms. Now imagine if after hours of holding, rocking, bouncing, singing, holding on the arm, holding on the shoulder etc. etc. etc. the baby is still shrieking like nothing happened. It's enough to make YOU feel helpless as if you're doing something wrong.

All the satisfaction people have been talking about untill now comes from feeling confident that you can take care of your baby, take that away and you are left with just the stress and hardships and sleepless nights.

Dont worry! OP jr. will grow out of her colic soon enough and than OP will be the doting proud father he knows he can be!

Been there done that.
+1000

[DrDanny]

OK I think some people are reading a bit too much into this. The OP does not seem suicidal and he does not hate babies (his own or any others), he is just having a bit of an (understandable) hard time now. How many of you ever dealt with a colicky baby? B"H my son hasn't put me through that but I have a younger brother who was, and even though this was over 15 years ago, and I was only 9 at the time I still remember it, it's enough to make any parent question his/her abilities.

Put it this way: 1 of the most rewarding experiences for me as a father is when my baby is crying, and I pick him up, rock him and after a few minutes he calms down and is happy. That makes me feel like I'm a good father. That I can provide for this helpless person in my arms. Now imagine if after hours of holding, rocking, bouncing, singing, holding on the arm, holding on the shoulder etc. etc. etc. the baby is still shrieking like nothing happened. It's enough to make YOU feel helpless as if you're doing something wrong.

All the satisfaction people have been talking about untill now comes from feeling confident that you can take care of your baby, take that away and you are left with just the stress and hardships and sleepless nights.

Dont worry! OP jr. will grow out of her colic soon enough and than OP will be the doting proud father he knows he can be!

+100

[moko]

Been there done that.
+1000

+100

guess u don't feel as strongly about it as Dan 

[meshugener]

Dont worry! OP jr. will grow out of her colic soon enough and than OP will be the doting proud father he knows he can be!

Amen!

[HelpMe]

guess u don't feel as strongly about it as Dan 

Maybe they are using different scales. 

[moko]

Maybe they are using different scales. 

[DrDanny]

guess u don't feel as strongly about it as Dan 

Lol I was doing percentages more zeroes wouldn't mean much (at least in retrospect I was)

[HelpMe]

Here is what you should all do. Print out this thread (maybe remove a couple of posts) and have your parents read it. I think they will get a kick out of it.

[moko]

Here is what you should all do. Print out this thread (maybe remove a couple of posts) and have your parents read it. I think they will get a kick out of it.

ur making me laugh tonight 

[HelpMe]

ur making me laugh tonight 

Like this thread does for me?

[moko]

Like this thread does for me?

again 
by the way-do u have kids