Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 42470 times)

Offline chaimmayer

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2011
  • Posts: 1191
  • Total likes: 13
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Location: florida
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #90 on: June 14, 2017, 04:39:21 PM »
Version I heard was after he dropped the papers he'd say cursed be koach and all rashaim
Oib mredt shoin vegan korach - if we're talking about korach already....

Offline avadah

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2012
  • Posts: 1974
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Jerusalem
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #91 on: June 14, 2017, 05:58:03 PM »
Thanks guys.

Offline myi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2015
  • Posts: 15879
  • Total likes: 935
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 285
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Brooklyn /Israel /Lakewood /TorontoCanada!
  • Programs: 2Many2List!
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #92 on: March 03, 2019, 01:46:26 AM »
Any more jokes?
Any good vort for parshas Vayakhel and the MISHKAN, and building one's home?
Thanks
If still interested, have a beautiful one for this past week and can be used for the coming week.

 Will try to put it together.
Don't try to be someone else , be who you are because everyone else is taken.

Offline cmey

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Jan 2014
  • Posts: 176
  • Total likes: 87
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: lakewood
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #93 on: March 03, 2019, 09:04:06 AM »
How about the one about the chosson who meets his friend shortly after getting married. The friends asks “how’s marriage treating you”? “Well, she really worships me”, he answers. “How so?” Asks the friend. “Well, she’s always bringing me these burnt offerings”.

Offline davidmal

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 7594
  • Total likes: 541
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 207
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #94 on: March 28, 2019, 04:29:56 PM »
A man tells his friend he's thinking of divorcing his wife.
"We just don't communicate anymore. She hasn't spoke to me in weeks."
"Think it over," his friend advises. "A woman like that is hard to find."

+1
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline cmey

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Jan 2014
  • Posts: 176
  • Total likes: 87
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: lakewood
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #95 on: March 28, 2019, 05:53:15 PM »
Chazal  tell us כל הנהנה מסעודת חתן ואינו משמחו עובר בחמישה קולות
It’s a very difficult thing to be misameach the חתן properly.
That’s leaves us with only one other option: the speeches during sheva berachos to take away the הנאה.

Just in case the speaker has הנאה we make sure to line up other speakers to take care of his הנאה too....

Offline S209

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2016
  • Posts: 1283
  • Total likes: 130
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Gowns By Shevy
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
  • Programs: Marriott Gold, SPG Gold, Ritz Carlton Gold, *G, Hyatt Explorist, Hertz PC, National EE, Rock Royalty Wild Card, Wyndham Diamond, MLife Gold, Total Rewards Diamond, Hilton Diamond, Uber VIP, IHG Platinum Elite, DDF Platinum Elite, American Express Platinum
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #96 on: August 14, 2019, 04:38:02 PM »
Vaeschanan, anyone?
Gowns By Shevy
732-806-1136
Shevy@gownsbyshevy.com

Offline Yonah

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Mar 2014
  • Posts: 228
  • Total likes: 65
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #97 on: August 16, 2019, 12:32:21 PM »
" It says that we are each born with a half a neshama, and then when we get married, both half-souls unite into one unit. So the wife when she gets married becomes complete, and the husband when he gets married is finished."

Offline TimT

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 17699
  • Total likes: 796
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #98 on: August 16, 2019, 12:52:51 PM »
It’s been well established that the wife is always right while the husband is always wrong. So when a man tells his wife “you’re right” is he right or wrong ?