Poll

Was your firsr year of marriage harder than excpected?

Yes.
11 (20%)
No.
17 (30.9%)
It is still that hard years later.
7 (12.7%)
Marriage is a breeze nothing but enjoyment for me.
7 (12.7%)
I'm single, so wouldn't know.
13 (23.6%)

Total Members Voted: 54

« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down

Author Topic: First year of marriage  (Read 6211 times)

Offline meshugener

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Feb 2012
  • Posts: 6959
  • Total likes: 62
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: DDF
  • Programs: Amex Platinum, Chase Freedom 10X10 Exclusives, Avis Presidents Club, National Executive, Hertz 5 Star, Hilton Gold, Accor Platinum, Hyatt Platinum, Marriott Silver, SPG Gold, Club Carlson Gold
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2013, 05:38:08 PM »
Quote from: sky121 on January 17, 2013, 03:16:51 PM
Personally I think the hardest thing for people to deal with is the 'disappointment' from what you thought you were "getting" to what you "got". The actual things you deal with (for most people ) aren't so bad. It's the 'disappointment' that's hard to get over.

The adjusting to living with another person isn't what really makes it hard. Its the emotional part of it.



Well said.
Logged
Love me or hate me. I still love you.

Offline HelpMe

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Aug 2011
  • Posts: 3468
  • Total likes: 40
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #21 on: January 17, 2013, 05:52:40 PM »
Quote from: yare on January 17, 2013, 05:18:49 PM
-1
that's a myth.   marriage changes everything, no matter how long you've known each other.      couples that lived together for years and then got married get divorced left and right.       don't believe the hype.
It would be a lot worse if they only went out for weeks.
Logged
"Elvis Has Left The Building"

Offline Chaikel

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 6842
  • Total likes: 174
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 20
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: LH SEN, SPG Plat, Hyatt Plat, Rav Kav Platinum
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #22 on: January 17, 2013, 06:02:06 PM »
Quote from: HelpMe on January 17, 2013, 05:52:40 PM
It would be a lot worse if they only went out for weeks.
The pudding proves otherwise
Logged
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline yare

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Posts: 2098
  • Total likes: 4
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #23 on: January 17, 2013, 06:06:16 PM »
Quote from: HelpMe on January 17, 2013, 05:52:40 PM
It would be a lot worse if they only went out for weeks.
nope,   but thanks for your opinion
Logged

Offline HelpMe

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Aug 2011
  • Posts: 3468
  • Total likes: 40
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #24 on: January 17, 2013, 06:12:25 PM »
Quote from: Chaikel on January 17, 2013, 06:02:06 PM
The pudding proves otherwise
Not when the variables are the same.
Logged
"Elvis Has Left The Building"

Offline HelpMe

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Aug 2011
  • Posts: 3468
  • Total likes: 40
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #25 on: January 17, 2013, 06:13:53 PM »
Quote from: yare on January 17, 2013, 06:06:16 PM
nope,   but thanks for your opinion
Maybe we can make a wager with the proceeds going to charity?  :)
Logged
"Elvis Has Left The Building"

Offline AJK

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 20K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Posts: 25499
  • Total likes: 723
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 15
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: United Concierge Key; Delta Global Services; American Chairman; US Airways 1K; Hilton Sapphire; Hyatt Tritium; Marriott Californium; Starwood Kryptonium; Hertz Plutonium; National Adamantium, Avis Executive Proactanium
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #26 on: January 17, 2013, 07:51:12 PM »
Quote from: HelpMe on January 17, 2013, 06:13:53 PM
Maybe we can make a wager with the proceeds going to charity?  :)

You'd probably lose.

Statistics show orthodox jews have a smaller % of divorce than America at large.
Logged
2015: 116K bkd | 1.6M brnd | F: OZ,NH,AA,EK | J: UA,CA,TK,DL,TN,AF,VA | LIH,NRT,ROR,PEK,CNS,BOB,MEL,TLV & Pacific Hopper

Offline Chaikel

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 6842
  • Total likes: 174
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 20
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: LH SEN, SPG Plat, Hyatt Plat, Rav Kav Platinum
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #27 on: January 17, 2013, 07:52:29 PM »
Quote from: AJK on January 17, 2013, 07:51:12 PM
You'd probably lose.

Statistics show orthodox jews have a smaller % of divorce than America at large.
I think his point is that has more to do with the people than dating methods, and that if we dated longer, it might be even lower. But I disagree.
Logged
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline sky121

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 11724
  • Total likes: 168
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 12
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #28 on: January 17, 2013, 07:57:41 PM »
A SMALL part of the reason 'we' have a lower divorce rate is because people stay together who otherwise wouldn't because of the stigma of divorce or because of feeling divorce isn't an option. That small part isn't any happier. Just still together.

#justsayin
Logged
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline U-no-me!

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2011
  • Posts: 1571
  • Total likes: 13
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 7
    • View Profile
  • Location: "Elvis Has Left The Building"
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #29 on: January 17, 2013, 07:59:29 PM »
Sky,
I humbly disagree.
Logged
Vote U-no-me '14!

Offline AJK

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 20K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Posts: 25499
  • Total likes: 723
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 15
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: United Concierge Key; Delta Global Services; American Chairman; US Airways 1K; Hilton Sapphire; Hyatt Tritium; Marriott Californium; Starwood Kryptonium; Hertz Plutonium; National Adamantium, Avis Executive Proactanium
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #30 on: January 17, 2013, 08:01:31 PM »
Quote from: U-no-me! on January 17, 2013, 07:59:29 PM
Sky,
I humbly disagree.

I'd also have to disagree. While I do believe there is that contingent, I doubt that is the the sole, or even majority of the cause.
Logged
2015: 116K bkd | 1.6M brnd | F: OZ,NH,AA,EK | J: UA,CA,TK,DL,TN,AF,VA | LIH,NRT,ROR,PEK,CNS,BOB,MEL,TLV & Pacific Hopper

Offline Chaikel

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 6842
  • Total likes: 174
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 20
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: LH SEN, SPG Plat, Hyatt Plat, Rav Kav Platinum
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #31 on: January 17, 2013, 08:01:50 PM »
Quote from: AJK on January 17, 2013, 08:01:31 PM
I'd also have to disagree. While I do believe there is that contingent, I doubt that is the the sole, or even majority of the cause.
+1
Logged
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline sky121

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 11724
  • Total likes: 168
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 12
    • View Profile
Re: Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #32 on: January 17, 2013, 08:04:08 PM »
Quote from: AJK on January 17, 2013, 08:01:31 PM
I'd also have to disagree. While I do believe there is that contingent, I doubt that is the the sole, or even majority of the cause.
Again I said a SMALL part. But yeah, we'll have to agree to disagree. But that's my opinion/ thought.
Logged
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Chaikel

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 6842
  • Total likes: 174
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 20
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: LH SEN, SPG Plat, Hyatt Plat, Rav Kav Platinum
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #33 on: January 17, 2013, 08:09:01 PM »
Quote from: sky121 on January 17, 2013, 08:04:08 PM
Again I said a SMALL part. But yeah, we'll have to agree to disagree. But that's my opinion/ thought.
I think someone posted a study that Orthodox Jews are generally the happiest with their marriages
Logged
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline sky121

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 11724
  • Total likes: 168
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 12
    • View Profile
Re: Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #34 on: January 17, 2013, 08:10:22 PM »
Quote from: Chaikel on January 17, 2013, 08:09:01 PM
I think someone posted a study that Orthodox Jews are generally the happiest with their marriages

I'd like to think they are. :)
Logged
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline U-no-me!

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2011
  • Posts: 1571
  • Total likes: 13
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 7
    • View Profile
  • Location: "Elvis Has Left The Building"
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #35 on: January 17, 2013, 08:12:47 PM »
Logged
Vote U-no-me '14!

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5435
  • Total likes: 38
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #36 on: January 17, 2013, 09:23:30 PM »
Just got a chance to skim through it, excellent writer but oh so dramatized.
Logged

Offline whYME

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 3370
  • Total likes: 1241
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #37 on: January 17, 2013, 09:32:52 PM »
Quote from: sky121 on January 17, 2013, 07:57:41 PM
A SMALL part of the reason 'we' have a lower divorce rate is because people stay together who otherwise wouldn't because of the stigma of divorce or because of feeling divorce isn't an option. That small part isn't any happier. Just still together.
I know and it's not like 'they' don't have anyone who's unhappy but stays together "for the kids" or something like that...

#justsayin
Logged

Offline HelpMe

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Aug 2011
  • Posts: 3468
  • Total likes: 40
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #38 on: January 18, 2013, 09:33:27 AM »
Quote from: Chaikel on January 17, 2013, 07:52:29 PM
I think his point is that has more to do with the people than dating methods, and that if we dated longer, it might be even lower. But I disagree.
You are 100% correct on the point I was making.
Logged
"Elvis Has Left The Building"

Offline Chaikel

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 6842
  • Total likes: 174
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 20
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: LH SEN, SPG Plat, Hyatt Plat, Rav Kav Platinum
Re: First year of marriage
« Reply #39 on: January 19, 2013, 11:02:33 AM »
Quote from: HelpMe on January 18, 2013, 09:33:27 AM
You are 100% correct on the point I was making.
Except that even in our community the numbers are lower for those who date long term
Logged
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
« previous next »