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        You might be a DDFer if...

        • ...you've become your whole extended families unoffical travel agent.
        • ...if you've gotten other DDF'ers to be ur family's personal travel agents
        • ...You've seen bank tellers cry when you walk in with boxes
        • ...You enjoy going to the pharmacy
        • ...You go to the bottlehouse twice in one week, and it's only Monday!
        • ...You occasionally take more than one flight a day.
        • ...You claim a million dollars income, earn a million dollars worth and can't prove income on an amex f/r
        • ...You have a 3 wallets just to hold your Amex cards
        • ...you enjoy flying around the world in first without paying- AND THE GUY NEXT TO YOU PAID 7K FOR ONE LEG OF THE TRIP
        • ...You spend more time on the phone with credit card and airline agents than your own parents
        • ...You start calling on your cellphone over VOIP because you used up your minutes.
        • ...You cant even comprehend why people use debit cards
        • ...You don't have a quarter in your pocket for the pushka
        • ...Your kids call CC's money
        • ...If it ain't business or first internationally your wife ain't going
        • ...Your baby calls the MTA card a reddit card
        • ...You run out to feed the meter with your Freedom card every 15 minutes
        • ...you spend more money on your CC's in one month than you make all year
        • ...You're constantly pressing F5 on this post.
        • ...You are busy adding new credit cards daily to your Amazon account to pay for your purchases
        • ...You have so much money in GC's to Amazon that you'll never pay by CC again.
        • ...When you finish a conversation with a friend or family, it ends off, "Don't worry, I will visit you in jail."
        • ...You spend more time on ddf than work...shhhh
        • ...you never buy gas with cash but always pay the cash rate
        • ...you enter dozens of GC numbers into your AP account every month
        • ...You spend more on your CC's than your wife does
        • ...your wife spends $1000 at Bloomingdales and you thank her
        • ...you have 50 boxes of diapers but no kids
        • ...you don't smoke but you love the HUCA
        • ...you still can't believe you signed up for that credit card in 1998 to get a Mets towel
        • ...You have AU's who are 3,4,&6 years old
        • ...You count down the days until your closing, dreaming of that long awaited time when you finally can get back into the game.
        • ...You know the cashiers in Target personally by first name.
        • ...You see someone with a kippa at Target and assume he is there for RedCard loading.
        • ...You will never ever run out of paper for your printer in your entire life
        • ...You own a paddle but no Kayak
        • ...You answer quotes with quotes



Author Topic: You might be a DDFer if...  (Read 152451 times)

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1635 on: March 29, 2018, 09:57:37 PM »
...the only thing you find in your jacket pocket while doing bedikas chometz is an old boarding pass
No Amex AUs?
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline aygart

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1636 on: March 29, 2018, 10:01:39 PM »
...you won't invite me over for Passover.
The last time a non-jew tried to get his way into a seder for the meal he left disappointed the story goes.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1637 on: March 29, 2018, 10:04:43 PM »
The last time a non-jew tried to get his way into a seder for the meal he left disappointed the story goes.
Stephen Hawking?  :)
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1638 on: March 29, 2018, 10:13:38 PM »
Stephen Hawking?  :)
The story goes that he came for the food. I'm sure this is posted here somewhere. Someone told him that the Jews have a big meal at the seder and that they bring in guests. He went in faking that he was jewish. First they give him a cup of wine. Okay, so far so good. Then they give him a tiny piece of celery dipped in saltwater. He thinks to himself how this is a strange meal. The the father takes out this strange burnt cracker and breaks it but puts the pieces away while he was just hoping to eat. They pour another cup of wine but now no one is drinking it. They just star saying this long chant with bits of singing in the middle and kids busy speaking and lively conversations. Then they finallt give the wine some attention and what do they do? they spil some out! finally they drink the cup of wine and he is hoping that they will finally have the meal. Instead they go wash their hands and then he gives everyone these large pieces of the burnt cracker which everyone is stuffing into their mouth. Next he gives out some plain raw horseradish and he just cant get it down then they give him more of it on some crackers. He had enough and runs out thinking that his friend played a joke on him.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1639 on: March 29, 2018, 10:15:47 PM »
The story goes that he came for the food. I'm sure this is posted here somewhere. Someone told him that the Jews have a big meal at the seder and that they bring in guests. He went in faking that he was jewish. First they give him a cup of wine. Okay, so far so good. Then they give him a tiny piece of celery dipped in saltwater. He thinks to himself how this is a strange meal. The the father takes out this strange burnt cracker and breaks it but puts the pieces away while he was just hoping to eat. They pour another cup of wine but now no one is drinking it. They just star saying this long chant with bits of singing in the middle and kids busy speaking and lively conversations. Then they finallt give the wine some attention and what do they do? they spil some out! finally they drink the cup of wine and he is hoping that they will finally have the meal. Instead they go wash their hands and then he gives everyone these large pieces of the burnt cracker which everyone is stuffing into their mouth. Next he gives out some plain raw horseradish and he just cant get it down then they give him more of it on some crackers. He had enough and runs out thinking that his friend played a joke on him.
Not sure what the issue was.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1640 on: March 29, 2018, 10:17:28 PM »
Not sure what the issue was.
The horseradish wasn't his taste and he didn't like the Manischewitz wine.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1641 on: March 29, 2018, 10:21:04 PM »
The horseradish wasn't his taste and he didn't like the Manischewitz wine.
ALOL
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1642 on: March 29, 2018, 10:22:30 PM »
The horseradish wasn't his taste and he didn't like the Manischewitz wine.
Maybe he should of done a Google search first. Strike that idea because he would have found out he wasn't welcome because of discrimination against non-Jews.  :P
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline mmgfarb

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1643 on: March 29, 2018, 10:23:27 PM »
The horseradish wasn't his taste and he didn't like the Manischewitz wine.
Random point- not all Manischewitz wine is KFP, as surprising as that is.
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1644 on: March 29, 2018, 10:23:40 PM »
Maybe he should of done a Google search first. Strike that idea because he would have found out he wasn't welcome because of discrimination against non-Jews. 
Well really it isn't a problem, just we don't want you to know about the blood in our matzah
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1645 on: March 29, 2018, 10:27:05 PM »
Well really it isn't a problem, just we don't want you to know about the blood in our matzah
That horse has left the barn thousand of years ago.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1646 on: March 29, 2018, 10:28:02 PM »
That horse has left the barn thousand of years ago.
I wish everyone felt that way
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1647 on: March 29, 2018, 10:28:54 PM »
I wish everyone felt that way
I'm pretty sure it's only an excuse for the others, no one actually believes it
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1648 on: March 29, 2018, 10:32:07 PM »
I'm pretty sure it's only an excuse for the others, no one actually believes it
No one believes what? You trying to change history now?  >:(
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline ben89

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Re: You might be a DDFer if...
« Reply #1649 on: March 29, 2018, 11:24:23 PM »
...you won't invite us over for Passover.
ftfy
its not just you. nothing personal. although i wish