Do you have your kesuba?

[MarkS]

Oy.

Unfortunately that is the reality. Or he says he won't give any get unless she is Moichel the Kesubah.
Unfortunately it doesn't currently offer much protection at all...

[Moishebatchy]

...but at the end of the day, halacha is halacha. It is irrelevant whether the kesubah actually offers any protection at all or not; if the halacha states a couple must have it in order to live together, then they must have it. Period. The same way you still have to do kiddushin even if you have a marriage license.

[churnbabychurn]

It clearly offers protection even today, at the very least its a powerful bargaining chip in the hands of the wife.

[MarkS]

It clearly offers protection even today, at the very least its a powerful bargaining chip in the hands of the wife.

You wish! How about the husband's more powerful  bargaining chip of no get?

[churnbabychurn]

You wish! How about the husband's more powerful  bargaining chip of no get?

Husbands wanna move, on get remarried etc. No get is extreme and possibly immoral. ..

[Jkhein]

Halachically makes it sound mild ... it's very chamur

+1
If she doesn't know where it is they can't live together.
If it happens that it gets lost during the wedding, big problems...

thats a new one to me... my impression was always that the two are the same.

[churnbabychurn]

thats a new one to me... my impression was always that the two are the same.

+1

[AsherO]

thats a new one to me... my impression was always that the two are the same.

+1

[Baruch]

The Kesubah is not just about divorce. It also includes the husband's obligations during marriage.

[RT]

-1

I've been in many homes where the the couple had deliberately chosen a kesubah that is very fancy (like a piece of art), then once married, they hung it as a decoration.

We bought a nice Yonah Weinreb, but someone made a mistake signing and they ended up using an ugly one we had as a backup.

This reminds me, I wanted to open a safety deposit box to put it in..

[meshugener]

It clearly offers protection even today, at the very least its a powerful bargaining chip in the hands of the wife.

That's what you think or what you know?
Sadly enough, its the former.

You wish! How about the husband's more powerful  bargaining chip of no get?

+100

Husbands wanna move, on get remarried etc. No get is extreme and possibly immoral. ..

That proves you have no idea what's going on.

[Saver2000]

That proves you have no idea what's going on.

I have to agree with you on this one.
If you anyone has any idea whats going on in todays society with the  divorces, it is literally unbelievable.

[smurf]

We bought a nice Yonah Weinreb, but someone made a mistake signing and they ended up using an ugly one we had as a backup.

This reminds me, I wanted to open a safety deposit box to put it in..

Whenever you store a kesubah somewhere I'm pretty sure the wife needs to have access to it. Just saying

[churnbabychurn]

The torah/chazal/rabeinu gerson established the "checks and balances" of a marriage.
They empowered the wife with the kesuba and the husband with the Get.
Anyone have a problem with this?

[meshugener]

The torah/chazal/rabeinu gerson established the "checks and balances" of a marriage.
They empowered the wife with the kesuba and the husband with the Get.
Anyone have a problem with this?

No.

[MarkS]

Husbands wanna move, on get remarried etc. No get is extreme and possibly immoral. ..

I was obviously not advocating doing it,  just relating what people are doing.  The threat isn't really no get ever it's more like well let's try being separated for 2 years first and then maybe we'll be able to work out the marriage...  The husband knows she will agree to anything to just get out of the marriage so the get is used as a bargaining chip to throw out the kesubah,  get her to give up a lot of the joint possessions,  a no child support agreement,  ridiculous visitation agreements etc.  Of course the guy fully intends   to and eventually gives the get,  but not before extorting whatever he wants first.

I'm not ch"v saying I have a problem with how chazal set it up,  I'm just saying that the reality is not as rosy as people think with the girl getting her kesubah.

[churnbabychurn]

I was obviously not advocating doing it,  just relating what people are doing.  The threat isn't really no get ever it's more like well let's try being separated for 2 years first and then maybe we'll be able to work out the marriage...  The husband knows she will agree to anything to just get out of the marriage so the get is used as a bargaining chip to throw out the kesubah,  get her to give up a lot of the joint possessions,  a no child support agreement,  ridiculous visitation agreements etc.  Of course the guy fully intends   to and eventually gives the get,  but not before extorting whatever he wants first.

I'm not ch"v saying I have a problem with how chazal set it up,  I'm just saying that the reality is not as rosy as people think with the girl getting her kesubah.

Basically, lifes a b___.
I agree 

[good sam]

This is just to bring to the attention of people who are not aware that they must always have the kesuba where they live, or at least know exactly where it is.

I have recently heard a story - a couple I know-  were separated for a while after long Shalom bayis issues, untill they found out that they were living without a kesuba since the beginning of their marriage (it got lost), they got together after working things out rewrote the kesuba, they say it works wonders....

Why didn't they just give to Kupath Ha'ir? 

[hocker]

Why didn't they just give to Kupath Ha'ir? 

 

[Baruch]

Why didn't they just give to Kupath Ha'ir?

They did, but by mistake they pressed the button for Parnassah instead of Shalom Bayis.