Author Topic: another get story..  (Read 21495 times)

Offline moish

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #45 on: November 06, 2013, 06:51:37 AM »
How can you justify a man leaving his wife an aguna for over 3 years. What rationally is his objective?

Even if she is wrongdoing him, what is he to gain in the long run? Why would a young person want to keep his life on a standstill and just fight?

Do you really believe he is doing no wrong?? After 120 their will be not Din on his actions?
i can understand where hes's coming from even if i dont necessarily agree with his tactic

he wants to see his son more that what the court decided, so hes using anything to his advantage to that end. additionally he wants a prominent say in his sons chinuch which isnt so far fetched 

Offline rots5

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #46 on: November 06, 2013, 06:53:23 AM »
i can understand where hes's coming from even if i dont necessarily agree with his tactic

he wants to see his son more that what the court decided, so hes using anything to his advantage to that end. additionally he wants a prominent say in his sons chinuch which isnt so far fetched 
i know of a similar story where the girl wants the kid not to spend overnight with the father until the kid is 5, he wants the norm which is 1.5... so hes holding out until the mediator says ok just go to court... hes holding out bec why should he give up like that? (plus it didnt get to court yet)
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Offline Chaikel

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #47 on: November 06, 2013, 08:43:21 AM »
They shouldn't try to make it work  :o And besides in that case she didn't even want the get her family did
#dontask
She shouldn't be forced to try to make it work if she doesn't want to.

Sounds like yeshivish hock and not real facts
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Offline shmuelb

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #48 on: November 06, 2013, 08:57:27 AM »
If a women wants a divorce, 3 long years, whether she is right or wrong, as sad as it may sound, the husband has to give it to her, and not keep her incarcerated.
Oh, because you say so, that's it, whether she is right or wrong, he has to give it to her!

Look, I did not read the Post article but I do not know how you decide what is right and wrong in other people's fights. Even if you read some article printed somewhere, does that make you sure you know both sides?

I have no idea what justification or rationalization he has but it is not up to me or my imagination. That is irrelevant. Do you disagree?
siyag lachachma :-)

Offline meshugener

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #49 on: November 06, 2013, 09:07:35 AM »
@SamKey:
I have no idea about the inside story here, but that sounds to me like a case I know in which the husband is withholding a get for over 4 years.
When asked why he does it, he says: I want to go back to her, let's just go to a counselor and work it out, I love her.
Reasonable , no?
But she keeps on saying, NO! I DON'T WANT YOU.
How could you expect her to go to therapy? I mean she doesn't won't him. Period.
He may love her like hashem loves me, but its irrelevant.
If she wants a get, there's no excuse in the world not to give it.
Love me or hate me. I still love you.

Online hocker

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #50 on: November 06, 2013, 09:36:08 AM »
He may love her like hashem loves me, but its irrelevant.
Then why wouldn't he divorce her?!
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Offline SamKey

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #51 on: November 06, 2013, 09:43:27 AM »
@SamKey:
I have no idea about the inside story here, but that sounds to me like a case I know in which the husband is withholding a get for over 4 years.
When asked why he does it, he says: I want to go back to her, let's just go to a counselor and work it out, I love her.
Reasonable , no?
But she keeps on saying, NO! I DON'T WANT YOU.
How could you expect her to go to therapy? I mean she doesn't won't him. Period.
He may love her like hashem loves me, but its irrelevant.
If she wants a get, there's no excuse in the world not to give it.
I definitely agree with you I was referring to a different case where the guy did end up giving the get within the year. I just don't believe it's for us to judge especially if it won't change our lives in any way[quoted author=hocker link=topic=32956.msg620357#msg620357 date=1383748568]
Then why wouldn't he divorce her?!
[/quote]ROFL!
« Last Edit: November 06, 2013, 10:14:55 AM by SamKey »

Offline meshugener

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #52 on: November 06, 2013, 09:48:58 AM »
@hocker lol
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Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #53 on: November 06, 2013, 10:45:13 AM »
Oh, because you say so, that's it, whether she is right or wrong, he has to give it to her!

Look, I did not read the Post article but I do not know how you decide what is right and wrong in other people's fights. Even if you read some article printed somewhere, does that make you sure you know both sides?

I have no idea what justification or rationalization he has but it is not up to me or my imagination. That is irrelevant. Do you disagree?

If she is right, we agree.

If she is wrong, but begging for 3 years to divorce, they grew apart, they have no bonding anymore except for being called married, then yes, he should not keep her hostage.

The only reason I see maybe as justified, is if she is somehow managing to destroy him completely, and where its clearly unjustified* (say, she is crazy, filthy rich, tons of lawyers, and he is just a regular guy getting e.g. barred entry to the country where the kids reside, etc) .

*I know you/people will start nudging about what means unjustified. e.g. nice husband and nice wife don't get along, and as soon as the divorce starts, somehow, he supposedly turns into a pedophile, etc etc, and battling the ugly way without boundaries.

Yes, every war is ugly, but there is a war for justice, and there is a war for the sake of waging a war, not focused on winning, but on burying the other one, preferably alive.



Offline dwkl

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #54 on: November 06, 2013, 03:52:15 PM »
its silly to discuss this issue  on a blog as its either "motzee shem ra" or at best "loshon hara"
 being we wont help to change anything by blogging about it.
 besides their are always 3 sides to every divorce case like this

 his side,her side and the actual true story   

Offline shmuelb

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #55 on: November 06, 2013, 05:24:10 PM »
Ok, let's stop talking about it.
siyag lachachma :-)

Offline chaimmayer

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #56 on: November 07, 2013, 10:54:47 AM »
NO!!! A GET IS NEVER A BARGAINING CHIP! WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
I don't particularly care for this website but see here

http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2013/11/supports-of-weiss-family-respond-to.html#comment-form

Disappointed in HNNovember 7, 2013 at 1:56 PM
DT -- ?...I read R' Dovid Feinstein's letter, it doesn't answer question -- a very simple question, is it halachically legitimate to use a get as leverage in a divorce proceeding. I.e., "I will not give you this get unless and until I get what I want."


Daas TorahNovember 7, 2013 at 2:08 PM
I haven't found any teshuva which says that it is not legitimate. Furthermore often the husband is simply trying to gain that which is his according to the halacha - do you consider that illegitimate also?

Again the issue is whether it is halachically or morally wrong to use the get as leverage for what you think you deserve. The answer seems to be no. BTW this applies also to a wife refusing to accept a get which Rav Eliashiv doesn't seem to think is immoral

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #57 on: November 07, 2013, 02:04:51 PM »
People say that he signed to accept whatever this rabbi G. decides.

A little voice tells me that there is a decent chance that this G. is completely on his side, and thus useless on negotiations.

Remember it was signed several month ago...

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #58 on: November 07, 2013, 02:09:10 PM »
If I recall correctly, an impossible to achieve condition, or a condition that results in the get being valid and invalid over and again in a loop, also becomes a get.

Offline Fan of Dan

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Re: another get story..
« Reply #59 on: November 07, 2013, 02:16:36 PM »
Reading the past few pages I have yet to see any legitimate reason for him to be refusing a get. He is clearly just trying to torture her and become a tamus nafshy im pelishtim in the process. What's a shame is that although he is crazy, to have his grandfather stand behind it all, makes it even more upsetting.