I don't know to which communities the women i was talking about belong, besides that they are chassidish. I have no idea how they would go about it in Satmar, but this description just doesn't make sense to me, I can't see it happening. How did they even know she doesn't shave? My suspicion, based on similar cases, is this: the school didn't want to have her kids because they were intentionally showing disregard to the Satmar beliefs, and so they found a tangible excuse. The community's view is this: we don't force you to hold our beliefs, but if you want to send your kids to our institutions (and pay $150 monthly tuition!) you gotta do it our way.
I'm starting to think that you're not really Satmar, or you have no idea what goes on in KJ. This is a reality, I know first hand of women who got criticized by Mikva ladies about not cutting their hair, and then the Vaad mysteriously found out about it.
"If you want to send your kids to our institutions...." Is that a justification for invading in a persons most intimate private part of their life? it's not like they advertise it, or tell anyone, just that they found out that she goes out of town to the mikva, so they figured out the reason. Is that even justifiable humanely? torahdig?
Not to all these bogus reasons why you need to do it.
Zohar/Kabala: Just says that the hair and nails that grow בימי נדה have some scary little black demons attached to them, but according to this reason, just cutting off the amount that grew in those two weeks would be enough.
סחיטה: If they would really care about that they wouldn't make their men go to the mikva on shabbos morning, and if they did at least make shiurim to tell them how careful they should be about it. Heck, you make women shave their heads their entire lives for this, and you won't stress it to the men who have long beards?
Also, if that would be the real reason wouldn't you make the women shave their
whole body?
חציצה: Same as above, nobody cares of you have long hair in other places on your body, so don't try selling to me that חציצה is that's bothering you.
Also, for thousands of years, without proper showers, shampoo, and plenty of water, women got by just fine without חציצות, but now when we have all these things, hygiene is like it's never been before, today you're really worried about it? do we really need to be holier than the imahos?
קמחית: First of all, she didn't shave, she just covered it so well that the walls of her house never saw her hair, so why force someone to shave based on that? Second, going with that logic we would have thousands of כוהנים גדולים today, where are they all? Third, the gemara tells us about it because she was an anomaly, not the norm, the wives of תנאים and אמוראים didn't do it, but you expect it today, why? Forth, I once heard in the name of a Rav, don't remember which, that if קמחית had 7 sons כוהנים גדולים in her lifetime, that means that 6 of her sons died in her lifetime, so why would she be punished in such a way? The answer is because she was מנוול herself before her husband.
No one knows where and when this minhag started, there's no documentation, תשובה, or anything pointing to a point when rabanim decided that women should start doing it. Rather it was started somewhere a few hundred years ago in eastern Europe, and there were a few factors that caused it, non of it were צניעות or anything, and didn't come from high up, rather from the peasants and primitive villages. There was the factor of it being a protection against rape that was prevalent in those days, to disgust the potential perpetrator. Then there was the factor of the belief in those days that knotted hair has some demonic power, and they got that from the goyishe neighbors, not from the zohar. But once the practice became wide spread then all these obscure reasons and justifications started popping up. But those were just that, justifications after the fact.
