Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 719174 times)

Offline ChAiM'l

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Where can you find the juice in the supermarket?

In the eggs isle!

Get it? Jews...exile...hahaha

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=37255.0

Offline henche

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What's the difference between inlaws, outlaws, and tax laws?

Inlaws are the most complicated.

Offline lubaby

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What's the difference between inlaws, outlaws, and tax laws?

Inlaws are the most complicated.
Outlaws are wanted.

Offline henche

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Outlaws are wanted.

Yes, but so are tax laws. How else would I make a living?

Offline SamKey

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What's the difference between inlaws, outlaws, and tax laws?

Inlaws are the most complicated.
What's complicated? (I've got to know now before it's too late!)

Offline ushdadude

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If the opposite of pro is con, does that make the opposite of progress congress?

Offline good sam

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If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline ushdadude

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Offline danrocks613

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that reminds of a similar one

If poly means many and a tick is a bloodsucking parasite then what does politics mean?!

Offline good sam

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Lol, I'm a dentist....that's all i've got :P
Hey, I'm no anti-dentite
If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline Shmulie

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Funniest Reviews Ever!! ;D
« Reply #1130 on: January 22, 2014, 08:11:25 PM »

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Funniest Reviews Ever!! ;D
« Reply #1131 on: January 22, 2014, 08:15:47 PM »
Then you would probably like this thread:
http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=20380.0

Offline lubaby

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Offline Shmulie

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Re: Funniest Reviews Ever!! ;D
« Reply #1133 on: January 22, 2014, 08:29:26 PM »
Repost. There's also a thread for funny amazon items.
Sorry didn't see that just thought i would share a laugh.

Offline danrocks613

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So R Avram Yehoshua calls in this guy busted going to Uman for Rosh Hashana and asks him why he's getting involved in such meshugass. The guy responds that theres a guarantee from R Nachman that if you go, he will pull you out of gehenom by your peyos. The Rosh Yeshiva replies "what do you need that for? Avram Avinu guarantees the same thing for anyone with a bris milah !" The guy thinks it over for a second and says "thats OK but I'd rather be pulled out by my peyos"

Offline mod

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So R Avram Yehoshua calls in this guy busted going to Uman for Rosh Hashana and asks him why he's getting involved in such meshugass. The guy responds that theres a guarantee from R Nachman that if you go, he will pull you out of gehenom by your peyos. The Rosh Yeshiva replies "what do you need that for? Avram Avinu guarantees the same thing for anyone with a bris milah !" The guy thinks it over for a second and says "thats OK but I'd rather be pulled out by my peyos"
Repost

Offline PlatinumGuy

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Sarcasm is like electricity, only half the Indians get it.
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline Myccrabbi

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A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides that because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty Flight Attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?

The young woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?

The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the f*ck do you want”?



“Aha”, he says,.................. "Delta Airlines"
If u work for a living, why kill urself working?

Offline jj1000

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Q. What is Meshuganers favorite fruit?









A. A Rapefruit.
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Offline Myccrabbi

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Q. What is Meshuganers favorite fruit?









A. A Rapefruit.
ALOL!
If u work for a living, why kill urself working?