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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 421097 times)

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2475 on: September 13, 2019, 04:50:33 PM »
The Goldbergs decided to move up in society, so they joined a very waspy country club. They quickly became friends with another couple they met there - the Joneses. After hanging out at the club, the Joneses decided to invite the Goldbergs for Sunday Brunch.

That morning, right before the Goldbergs were set to arrive, Mrs. Jones surveyed their dining room and noticed something odd - the table was set for 8 people, and not the 4 she expected.

"James," she asked her butler, " why is the table set for 8? I told you that we are only expecting the Goldbergs?"
"Yes, Madam," the butler replied," I had originally set the table for 4, but then Mr. Goldberg phoned this morning to say that they were bringing both the Bagels and the Bialys".

Offline ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2476 on: September 18, 2019, 06:18:39 PM »
Maybe birds are secretly drones that recharge by sitting on the power lines
I'm going crazy, wanna come along?

Online CountValentine

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2477 on: October 12, 2019, 10:28:04 AM »
Kamala Harris to Trump Jr: 'You wouldn’t know a joke if one raised you'
You're so far up Trump's a** you can see Giuliani's feet.  HT Baruch

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2478 on: November 01, 2019, 02:48:59 PM »
Tom and Bill were navy buddies who hadn't seen each other in years. Tom happened to be passing through Bill's town on business and offered to take him out to dinner so that they could catch up.

Over dinner, Tom asked Bill what it was like being the father of 4 teenage boys.

"It's actually a lot like life on the carrier," said Bill, " 24x7 there are people eating in the kitchen, there's laundry being done, people sitting at computers, and getting tended to in sick bay".

"Wow, " replied Tom, " and I guess it's great being the captain of that ship?"

Bob laughed - " Captain, heck no - I'm the cook, launderer. computer tech and medic"

Offline lubaby

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2479 on: November 01, 2019, 02:51:22 PM »
Tom and Bill were navy buddies who hadn't seen each other in years. Tom happened to be passing through Bill's town on business and offered to take him out to dinner so that they could catch up.

Over dinner, Tom asked Bill what it was like being the father of 4 teenage boys.

"It's actually a lot like life on the carrier," said Bill, " 24x7 there are people eating in the kitchen, there's laundry being done, people sitting at computers, and getting tended to in sick bay".

"Wow, " replied Tom, " and I guess it's great being the captain of that ship?"

Bob laughed - " Captain, heck no - I'm the cook, launderer. computer tech and medic"
Where did Bob come from?

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2480 on: November 01, 2019, 03:06:38 PM »
Where did Bob come from?
ALOL! better than the actual joke!
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2481 on: November 01, 2019, 03:20:48 PM »
Where did Bob come from?

Or maybe it was Bob and Tom, or Bill and Bob, I forget :)

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2482 on: November 02, 2019, 10:15:42 PM »
ALOL! better than the actual joke!
+1
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2483 on: November 02, 2019, 10:48:37 PM »
+1
i need my 300th  like for melava malka
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Online TimT

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2484 on: November 02, 2019, 11:29:26 PM »
i need my 300th  like for melava malka
bon appetit

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2485 on: November 03, 2019, 07:55:57 AM »
bon appetit
is that enough to be koveah  seuda?
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Online CountValentine

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2486 on: November 03, 2019, 08:25:16 AM »
Where did Bob come from?
That must be the joke because the other part wasn't funny.
You're so far up Trump's a** you can see Giuliani's feet.  HT Baruch

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2487 on: November 12, 2019, 11:51:33 AM »
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind. Give it here', he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells "We got him!"

Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2488 on: November 12, 2019, 01:57:25 PM »
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind. Give it here', he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells "We got him!"
ALOL
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2489 on: November 12, 2019, 02:45:15 PM »
ALOL

The funnier part - I saw this on Reddit,the title was 'a mean joke'