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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 360867 times)

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2535 on: April 29, 2020, 04:52:17 PM »
Chaim's mom gave him two ties for his birthday - a red one and a blue one. He was very appreciative of the gift, and thanked her. A few weeks later, he was going to a family simcha, where he knew he'd see his mom, and decided that he should wear one of his birthday ties. The blue one matched best with his suit and shirt, and he wore it to the simcha.

When he got there, he walked over to his mother, expecting her to be pleased that he wore her most recent gift - only to find her with a scowl on here face. Her first words to him - "So I guess the red one you don't like?"

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2536 on: April 29, 2020, 05:00:33 PM »
Chaim's mom gave him two ties for his birthday - a red one and a blue one. He was very appreciative of the gift, and thanked her. A few weeks later, he was going to a family simcha, where he knew he'd see his mom, and decided that he should wear one of his birthday ties. The blue one matched best with his suit and shirt, and he wore it to the simcha.

When he got there, he walked over to his mother, expecting her to be pleased that he wore her most recent gift - only to find her with a scowl on here face. Her first words to him - "So I guess the red one you don't like?"
So he just went back to running on his wheel?
The thing with the hamster is that running on the wheel is actually what it is trying to do.

Offline username

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2537 on: April 29, 2020, 05:03:32 PM »
So he just went back to running on his wheel?
Took me a minute.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2538 on: April 29, 2020, 07:26:03 PM »
So he just went back to running on his wheel?
bcc @CountValentine
It is very important, whenever faced with a character limit, to carefully plan what you want to write, lest you be cut o

Offline CountValentine

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2539 on: May 01, 2020, 06:51:16 PM »
Kayleigh McEnany, during first briefing as White House press secretary, pledges to ‘never lie'
You're so far up Trump's a** you can see Giuliani's feet.  HT Baruch

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2540 on: May 01, 2020, 06:52:08 PM »
Kayleigh McEnany, during first briefing as White House press secretary, pledges to ‘never lie'
Excluding that one.
The thing with the hamster is that running on the wheel is actually what it is trying to do.

Offline Help

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2541 on: May 17, 2020, 12:45:20 AM »
What are those pyramid shaped structures in Egypt called?

Offline justaregularguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2542 on: May 17, 2020, 01:27:13 AM »
What are those pyramid shaped structures in Egypt called?
good one :)
Welcome ! 👋
nothings impossible- the word itself says Im possible

Offline Joeymc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2543 on: May 17, 2020, 03:40:53 AM »
The coronavirus won't last long; it's made in China.
This
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2544 on: May 18, 2020, 06:13:10 PM »
A Jew was on a train and he walked over to a Chinese man and punched him in the face.
"What was that for," the Chinese man asked.
"That was for what you did at Pearl Harbor!"
"But that was the Japanese!"
"Chinese, Japanese, same thing," the Jew responded.
Moments later, the Chinese guy punched the Jew back.
"Hey, what was that for?!" he asked.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"Titanic?? What does that have to do with me?!"
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, same thing!"

It is very important, whenever faced with a character limit, to carefully plan what you want to write, lest you be cut o

Offline S209

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2545 on: May 19, 2020, 02:41:12 AM »
You never appreciate what you have till it's gone.
Toilet paper is a good example.
This proved prescient..
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Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2546 on: June 28, 2020, 07:16:58 PM »
.
It is very important, whenever faced with a character limit, to carefully plan what you want to write, lest you be cut o

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2547 on: July 02, 2020, 05:01:11 PM »
הבאתי עוגיות לבית הכנסת. מישהו שהתפלל שם שאל אותי אם הם מזונות. אמרתי חלילה, הם מאשתי

Offline justaregularguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2548 on: July 02, 2020, 11:48:17 PM »
הבאתי עוגיות לבית הכנסת. מישהו שהתפלל שם שאל אותי אם הם מזונות. אמרתי חלילה, הם מאשתי
first hebrew post i bothered to read  ;D was worth it 👍
nothings impossible- the word itself says Im possible

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2549 on: July 03, 2020, 09:15:42 AM »
Thanks!