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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 436875 times)

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2540 on: May 01, 2020, 06:52:08 PM »
Kayleigh McEnany, during first briefing as White House press secretary, pledges to ‘never lie'
Excluding that one.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Help

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2541 on: May 17, 2020, 12:45:20 AM »
What are those pyramid shaped structures in Egypt called?

Offline justaregularguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2542 on: May 17, 2020, 01:27:13 AM »
What are those pyramid shaped structures in Egypt called?
good one :)
Welcome ! 👋
nothings impossible- the word itself says Im possible

Offline Joeymc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2543 on: May 17, 2020, 03:40:53 AM »
The coronavirus won't last long; it's made in China.
This
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2544 on: May 18, 2020, 06:13:10 PM »
A Jew was on a train and he walked over to a Chinese man and punched him in the face.
"What was that for," the Chinese man asked.
"That was for what you did at Pearl Harbor!"
"But that was the Japanese!"
"Chinese, Japanese, same thing," the Jew responded.
Moments later, the Chinese guy punched the Jew back.
"Hey, what was that for?!" he asked.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"Titanic?? What does that have to do with me?!"
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, same thing!"

Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes

Offline S209

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2545 on: May 19, 2020, 02:41:12 AM »
You never appreciate what you have till it's gone.
Toilet paper is a good example.
This proved prescient..
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Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2546 on: June 28, 2020, 07:16:58 PM »
.
Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2547 on: July 02, 2020, 05:01:11 PM »
הבאתי עוגיות לבית הכנסת. מישהו שהתפלל שם שאל אותי אם הם מזונות. אמרתי חלילה, הם מאשתי

Offline justaregularguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2548 on: July 02, 2020, 11:48:17 PM »
הבאתי עוגיות לבית הכנסת. מישהו שהתפלל שם שאל אותי אם הם מזונות. אמרתי חלילה, הם מאשתי
first hebrew post i bothered to read  ;D was worth it 👍
nothings impossible- the word itself says Im possible

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2549 on: July 03, 2020, 09:15:42 AM »
Thanks!

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2550 on: July 16, 2020, 01:14:41 PM »
A cop notices a man driving solo in the HOV lane, and pulls him over. "Sir," he says to the driver, " you do realize that this is an HOV lane, and you need to have at least one other passenger in the car?"

"But officer, I do!" replied the driver, " we're trying to observe social distancing so he's riding in the car behind me".

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2551 on: July 16, 2020, 01:18:06 PM »
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline yeshivabucher

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2552 on: July 16, 2020, 03:33:09 PM »



Offline yuneeq

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2553 on: August 02, 2020, 09:35:03 AM »
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked.
“Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”
Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2554 on: August 10, 2020, 09:39:44 PM »
Cohen is shipwrecked and washes ashore on a small island. After exploring for signs of life, he comes across a small village of 3 huts - including two with Stars of David on their entrances. He calls out, and lo and behold, another Jewish man walks out. He explains to Cohen that he was also shipwrecked and wanted to build a proper jewish community on the Island. Cohen asks him - "What's up with the huts?"

"Well", says the man, " the first building, without the start of David is my house; the one on the left, is the shul that I go to."

"What about the one on the right?" asks Cohen, alluding to the other building with the star of david, " Is that the Mikvah? Yeshiva?"

"No," replies the other man, "that's the shul I won't set foot in"

Offline joe1234

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2555 on: August 10, 2020, 10:01:44 PM »
Cohen is shipwrecked and washes ashore on a small island. After exploring for signs of life, he comes across a small village of 3 huts - including two with Stars of David on their entrances. He calls out, and lo and behold, another Jewish man walks out. He explains to Cohen that he was also shipwrecked and wanted to build a proper jewish community on the Island. Cohen asks him - "What's up with the huts?"

"Well", says the man, " the first building, without the start of David is my house; the one on the left, is the shul that I go to."

"What about the one on the right?" asks Cohen, alluding to the other building with the star of david, " Is that the Mikvah? Yeshiva?"

"No," replies the other man, "that's the shul I won't set foot in"
Did he end up getting saved??

P.s. I must’ve missed the boat..

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2556 on: August 10, 2020, 10:03:44 PM »
Did he end up getting saved??

P.s. I must’ve missed the boat..
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Euclid

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2557 on: August 11, 2020, 12:37:34 AM »
Did he end up getting saved??

P.s. I must’ve missed the boat..
He obviously did. How else do we know this story?

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2558 on: August 11, 2020, 09:41:01 AM »
He obviously did. How else do we know this story?
The other guy remembered the story
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline lcm

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2559 on: August 11, 2020, 11:16:14 AM »