Jokes Master Thread

[joe1234]

The other guy remembered the story

what story?...

[YitzyS]

I’m Joe Biden and I approve this message.

[etech0]

I’m Joe Biden and I approve this message.

https://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=112825.0

[Yo ssi]

This chassid won $3 million on the lottery last weekend so he decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now he has $2,999,999.75.

[SuperFlyer]

This chassid won $3 million on the lottery last weekend so he decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now he has $2,999,999.75.

Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

[ExGingi]

Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

Neither.

Most likely match would be an extreme left wing progressive.

Joke would be great if you put AOC in there. Just try it and post on Social Media and see how many likes you get and how viral it would go.

[~King Lake~]

Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

+1

[aygart]

Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

I'm sure that all of those coming from EY to raise money and do better in Lakewood than anywhere else will back that one up. I am on @ExGingi 's side here. Bringing in chasidim or litvaks is nothing but vile sinas chinam. Shame on all of you!

[pointer]

Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

Neither.

Most likely match would be an extreme left wing progressive.

Joke would be great if you put AOC in there. Just try it and post on Social Media and see how many likes you get and how viral it would go.

I'm sure that all of those coming from EY to raise money and do better in Lakewood than anywhere else will back that one up. I am on @ExGingi 's side here. Bringing in chasidim or litvaks is nothing but vile sinas chinam. Shame on all 3 of you!

I think you guys got it all wrong.

The joke has nothing to do with anyone being stingy.
It is all about Chasidim not knowing their math and English properly.

[~King Lake~]

I think you guys got it all wrong.

The joke has nothing to do with anyone being stingy.
It is all about Chasidim not knowing their math and English properly.

Don't know if chasidim know there math or not (that's not true, I'm probably better at math then you are even though I didn't learn it properly in cheider/school!) But what I see is that there is more wealthy people by the chasidim then by the litvish community!!

[pointer]

Don't know if chasidim know there math or not (that's not true, I'm probably better at math then you are even though I didn't learn it properly in cheider/school!) But what I see is that there is more wealthy people by the chasidim then by the litvish community!!

Whatever. I don't want to hijack the thread.

[ExGingi]

I think you guys got it all wrong.

The joke has nothing to do with anyone being stingy.
It is all about Chasidim not knowing their math and English properly.

IDK. Seems like many are doing perfectly well in business. Might have been a joke if you gave an example of giving way more than it makes sense mathematically.

[aygart]

Don't know if chasidim know there math or not (that's not true, I'm probably better at math then you are even though I didn't learn it properly in cheider/school!) But what I see is that there is more wealthy people by the chasidim then by the litvish community!!

Is this supposed to be an example your your superior math skills?

[pointer]

IDK. Seems like many are doing perfectly well in business.

That is not the discussion.

The fact still stands (as a general rule, of course there are lots of acceptions).

But hey! as the Satmer rabbi once said to his chasid who was looking to get educated and go into accounting, "Why be busy with other peoples money, You make the money, and let others be busy with it"

[aygart]

IDK. Seems like many are doing perfectly well in business. Might have been a joke if you gave an example of giving way more than it makes sense mathematically.

אין הברכה מצוי' אלא בדבר הסמוי מן העין

[yuneeq]

אין הברכה מצוי' אלא בדבר הסמוי מן העין

Once this thread is hijacked already, I always wondered does this statement apply to a bank account? The original context is that you shouldn’t count how much fruit you have so the bracha should apply to it. But a bank account is already quantified, not looking at the numbers doesn’t change anything.

[Yo ssi]

With all this discussion and not even one like on the joke! Talking about being stingy 😉

[joe1234]

With all this discussion and not even one like on the joke! Talking about being stingy 😉

at least i liked this post. lol

[Lurker]

Clean up on aisle 5. This is disgusting.

[YitzyS]

Reminds me of this:

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/19/magazine/the-beggars-of-lakewood.html

https://yated.com/the-givers-of-lakewood-welcome-to-giverville/