Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 686780 times)

Offline WAM

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2820 on: July 21, 2022, 12:35:48 AM »
Mazal tov @ChaimMoskowitz
I didn't realize you could renew an engagement.

Offline Dan

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2821 on: September 15, 2022, 06:48:58 PM »
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online Euclid

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2822 on: September 15, 2022, 06:58:21 PM »

Offline Luvtotravel

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2823 on: September 15, 2022, 07:03:47 PM »
if you go into the bathroom an american, and you come out of the bathroom an american, what are you while in the bathroom?
European
Don't wait for the perfect moment; take the moment and make it perfect.

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2824 on: November 11, 2022, 09:59:20 AM »
Why old people don't get hired (sent to me by an older person):

Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"
 
Old Man : "Honesty."
 
Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
 
Old Man : "I don't really give a s%$t what you think."

Offline skyguy918

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2825 on: November 11, 2022, 10:17:09 AM »
if you go into the bathroom an american, and you come out of the bathroom an american, what are you while in the bathroom?
European
And sometimes on the way to the bathroom you're a Russian.

Offline Randomex

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2826 on: November 11, 2022, 11:14:16 AM »
Do you want to play a board game, digitally or in Lakewood NJ? PM me. (Can be asynchronous, i.e. take turns whenever)

Offline bochur22

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2827 on: February 15, 2023, 04:37:49 PM »
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
-Emo Philips

Offline ckmk47

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My favorite cause: cssy.org

Offline mevinyavin

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2829 on: February 21, 2023, 04:23:21 AM »


Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline g_t

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2830 on: April 30, 2023, 09:08:45 PM »
Knock knock

Offline lcm

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2831 on: April 30, 2023, 09:12:20 PM »

Offline g_t

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2832 on: April 30, 2023, 09:14:55 PM »

Offline g_t

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2833 on: April 30, 2023, 09:15:17 PM »
It was just a package.

Offline lcm

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2834 on: April 30, 2023, 09:48:12 PM »

Offline g_t

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2835 on: May 01, 2023, 05:37:58 PM »
Haha
Since you've been such a great crowd Ill give you one more.

Knock knock

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2836 on: May 01, 2023, 06:02:43 PM »
Since you've been such a great crowd Ill give you one more.

Knock knock
Yo, it's 2023. Ring that bell!

Online JMHO

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2837 on: May 01, 2023, 07:19:48 PM »
Yo, it's 2023. Ring that bell!
No need to ring, my app already alerted me!

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2838 on: May 01, 2023, 10:42:47 PM »
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
-Emo Philips

This is so much funnier when I imagine Emo Philips saying it.

Offline g_t

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2839 on: May 02, 2023, 12:19:07 PM »
Yo, it's 2023. Ring that bell!
Ding Dong