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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 317277 times)

Offline Cholentfresser

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whats the point of red lights anyways......why can't everyone just go at the same time????
In order to understand recursion, you first need to understand recursion.

Offline SuperFlyer

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Maybe I'm stupid, but I don't get it.

Btw, I'm Algeria they don't have traffic lights, at least not in the capital.

Offline mancunian

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whats the point of red lights anyways......why can't everyone just go at the same time????

i dont get why its a joke - im adamantly against stopsigns - in europe you barely see them, now they want me to pay more for insurance...

Offline SuperFlyer

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Don't know where in europe you have been, as far as I know they have no less traffic lights then the usa, if not more.

The use of TL?
In very low traffic area, I'd say that we don't need them, but on some (not sure what they are called in english) roads that are not a highway, but where a decent speed is allowed, and its a road continuing for several miles, had it not be for the traffic lights, you would have to stop at every single crossing...

I a lot of countries the lights on such a main road, are calculated that with a certain average speed, you can catch all subsequent green lights.
(Still not sure why its in the jokes section)

Offline mancunian

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Don't know where in europe you have been, as far as I know they have no less traffic lights then the usa, if not more.

The use of TL?
In very low traffic area, I'd say that we don't need them, but on some (not sure what they are called in english) roads that are not a highway, but where a decent speed is allowed, and its a road continuing for several miles, had it not be for the traffic lights, you would have to stop at every single crossing...

I a lot of countries the lights on such a main road, are calculated that with a certain average speed, you can catch all subsequent green lights.
(Still not sure why its in the jokes section)

the truth is im not sure if its my mistake or yours - i meant signs - apparantly the joke was lights

Offline Crazy tools

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why did the chicken cross the border?


it was a mexchicken!!

Offline Smirk

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I tired to play UNO with some Mexicans today, but the Motherf**kers kept stealing the green cards, so i quit, Happy Cinco de Mayo

Offline SuperFlyer

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How come briskers are allowed to learn on shabbos? Isn't their kvetchen considered s'chita?








Answer: it is only s'chita when something actually comes out of it.

Offline SuperFlyer

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A brisker who jumped from the 13th floor, awakes 6 month later in the hospital.
First thing they ask him: why did you jump?
Brisker: I had a chashash I was from zera amolaik

Offline Crazy tools

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wow superflyer you really have it in for briskers!! what happened u couldn't get into shiur??
(the schita "joke" (for lack of a better word) was a good one) :D

Offline SuperFlyer

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Here's one I made up right now. you inspired me...

Why do briskers use the word beshiite?

So that they won't have to call it politics

Offline SuperFlyer

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Getting into their shiur/yeshiva? Nah, I want when its cold, and have my hands in my pocket, still be able to speak.
Do you grrade herr what I'm lemayse telling you?

Offline Crazy tools

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what's the diff. between "shiytah" & "shuyta"??

just a tiny bit (the bottom of the "yud")

Offline mancunian

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just got this text (cornyyyy)

what do bochurim and cell phones have in common?
Free nights and weekends. The difference though is, one of them has a plan.

Offline Crazy tools

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looking for tables,
chairs,
seforim,
building,
bocherim,


rosh yeshiva we have.